I'm Yin
by AmazingLadar
Summary: Yin and Yang are about to be reunited and it's up to the SBPD to make sure the notorious serial killer duo doesn't rise up again and claim even more victims. Rated T for language, there is Shules, set in place of the season 5 finale. Will most likely contain minor spoilers for first 5 seasons.
1. A Letter From Yin

**Hello lovelys. This is… oddly… early! Madness! **

**So this is (as the title suggests) a Yin and Yang Fic. This is AU, in place of the third and final YinYang episodes, so this is set preseason 5 finale.**

**Firstly, I'd just like to say that I am aware there are quite a lot of PsychFanFics that follow a similar plot line, but I believe there is a twist in here that no other one has, so please give it a chance.**

**It's rather short this first chapter, but I'm sure you'll find that most of my first chapters **_**are**_** rather short. They get longer as we go on. Next chapter will be posted in about a week.**

**So yes, this I my new FanFic, I hope you enjoy it and please review! The good, bad, criticisms, amazing reviews… all types are welcome! Please review!**

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December 20th, 2010

It was a perfectly normal day for the Santa Barbara Police Department. Detectives Carlton Lassiter and Juliet O'Hara were doing their paperwork at their desk. They had just finished off a case with a polar bear, and while the Psych duo were in their office relaxing, the two detectives had to be the responsible ones and actually work. Oh, how Juliet wanted to join Shawn for an early night home and a romantic dinner. But no. when she asked to take the night off, Carlton started to interrogate her as to why she wanted to go home. Juliet, physically incapable of lying to her partner's face, muttered "never mind" before sitting down at her desk. Shawn would understand.

Shawn (who was psychic and that's how he knew Juliet wouldn't be able to make it that night) had made plans with Gus to celebrate yet another successful case. They didn't do it often, but every once in a while they would sit down with pineapple smoothies and enjoy a case well done. This, of course, is the lie they told Juliet. They in fact celebrated every case they ever completed, especially if they proved Carlton wrong while doing so.

The chief was sitting in her office, nursing a headache that all the commotion from sister Lassiter's camera caused. People wanted to be on camera, didn't want to be on camera, did outrageous tasks to simply to be on camera, while some people made the assumption that people did exactly that when in reality, they just wanted coffee or to file things. It was a crazy day, one that the chief hoped never to repeat. All she wanted to do now was go home to her daughter. Her best detectives would be in the station doing paperwork for the rest of the day, so she didn't see why not. So the chief started to pack up her things, ready to leave.

Buzz McNabb was filing papers away, just trying to get through everything as quickly as possible so he could go home to his wife. He only had one more task to do, and his heart was almost racing from the thought of returning home. He walked into the reception office to distribute the mail when he saw it. His heart felt like it just stopped when he recognized the exact symbol that was on top of the envelope. He quickly went into autopilot, grabbing the envelope and running to the chief. He got several odd looks as he ran through the station, Carlton Lassiter even yelled at him to slow down. Buzz burst through the chief's doors without knocking.

"McNabb! What exactly do you think you're-"

"I found this" Buzz said, lifting up the envelope to show the chief. "It was in reception. It's not addressed to anyone." The chief shot him a terrified look before picking up the envelope with half of a Yin-Yang symbol on it.

The chief sighed very loudly, sat down at her desk and stared at the envelope. "This can't be good."

* * *

December 21st, 2010

Shawn walked through the station with Gus by his side, feeling oh so important to the police. He had just solved a case for everyone and he was already being summoned back to the station. They didn't say what they needed him for, but he figured he'd find out very soon. As he walked through, people stared at him. Gus was the only one who started to become concerned with the amount of looks they got, and suddenly, he didn't want the case the chief was going to give them.

"Chief, please, let me handle this" they both heard Carlton insisting behind the Chief's doors.

"Detective, you know as well as I do that this doesn't involve you. It doesn't necessarily involve me. It only really involves Spen-"

"Chief, I'm here" Shawn announced as he entered the office. "Don't you fret no more. Psych has got you."

"Mr. Spencer. You're late" the Chief said.

"Yeah, sorry. You called us during Gus' snack time. He needs to be properly fed seven times a day or else he gets cranky."

"Shawn…" Gus warned. Shawn stared at his best friend. He could easily see the seriousness of the situation because of all the stares they got on the way to the office, but why was Gus behaving like this? Shawn took another look around and noticed the envelope on the Chief's desk, with half the Yin-Yang symbol on it.

"Oh no" Shawn muttered and he walked over to the desk. He picked up the envelope and just stared at it for a moment. On the top was the black portion of the Yin-Yang symbol, the second half missing. "Why is it incomplete?" Shawn asked. He looked up at the detectives and Chief, desperate for any answer. Instead, Juliet handed him a sheet of paper with cut up letters on it. Just like the first Yang case.

"Maybe you should read this" Juliet said. Shawn cautiously took the letter and read it over quickly.

_Hi Shawny.  
I'm back. In two days only, Yin and Yang will be reunited. Not the one locked up, but you!  
See you soon.  
Signed,  
Yin._

"This has to be some kind of sick joke, right?" Shawn asked when he looked up. "I mean… he… he wants me to be his new _Yang_?"

"It appears that way" the Chief said. Shawn couldn't help but laugh.

"Why would he want that?"

"Well, you managed to solve the last two riddles he gave you" Juliet said, trying to force the memories out of her head. "Maybe he figures if you can't beat them, join them. Or... have them join you..."

"No, of course I'm not going to do that! He's an idiot if he thinks for a second I'm going to agree to this!"

"Shawn" Gus warned again. "I don't think he's _asking_ you. It's more like he's…"

"Telling you" Carlton finished for him. "He's, I guess, _warning_ us about what he plans to do."

"It's not going to happen" Shawn insisted. Everyone was silent, staring at him. "I mean, how can you force someone to be a serial killer?"


	2. A Chat With Yang

**Hello lovelys! So, right now I'm on a trip going around Europe (yay!) but I'm still able to update this on my trip because I already wrote this ahead of time. See? Planning ahead. I'm a genius. Next update will be in about a week, more or less (most likely more).**

**There's really no dilly dallying here. It's just going straight into it.**

**I've got nothing to say about this chapter, really. So just enjoy!**

**Please review! I love all types of reviews, so just go ahead! You know you want to!**

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December 22nd, 2010

Shawn had an idea. Of course, just like always, no one would listen to him. He was starting to get so _annoyed_ with everyone. Sure, he usually made outrageous suggestions that he didn't seriously mean, but every now and then his outrageous suggestion was exactly what they needed, and they still didn't take him seriously. Like now. He kept insisting a visit to Yang. Because, after all, who knows Yin better than Yang? But no. He was just being stupid, apparently. Because what if Yang was in on this?

So Shawn sat down in the chief's chair and let them talk while he stared into space. Not that this was his favourite pass time or anything. He just didn't have much of a choice. They wouldn't let him go anywhere alone anymore. Which, Shawn was partly grateful for and partly infuriated by. Sure, he wasn't going to be taken by Yin, which was always a plus. But they wouldn't even let him go to the bathroom unless Gus or Carlton was nearby (much to their distaste).

The others were starting to get annoyed with Shawn. The letter had said in only two days Yin and Yang would be reunited. That was today. This was the second day. And Shawn still wasn't seriously contributing in cracking this case. He wasn't making serious contributions and they were running out of time.

"I've tried to trace the letter" the tech guy said. "It was faxed over and I traced it to… Bulgaria…"

"Bulgaria?!" Both Detective Lassiter and O'Hara exclaimed outraged.

"Which is… obviously not where it came from…" the tech guy said.

"No, it's not!" Carlton yelled. "Now, don't come back until you track it-"

"It's almost impossible to-"

"Just do it!" the tech guy then ran out of the room, trying to achieve the impossible.

"Poor Gregg" Shawn commented from his spot. "He tries so hard only to get yelled at by Lassie-face."

"Spencer, you're not helping. You're only here because it's safe. Now either start helping or shut up." Carlton snapped.

"I already told you what I would do. I tried to help but you won't listen" Shawn said. "I would go myself, save you time so you can… track the fax and all that…"

"Shawn, you can't go anywhere alone" Juliet said quietly.

"Then let's _all_ go!" Shawn said. "It could be an amazing _adventure_!"

"Shawn…"

"Think about it! You have no leads, no idea where to start and no clue what to do. Today is the day he said I would join him, and if you think I'm not shitting myself, you are _very_ wrong. Now I'm _telling_ you, we need to talk to Yang! She knows Yin very well and she could know what the hell is going on."

There was silence now. Everyone just stared at Shawn. All of them. The Chief, Carlton, Juliet, Gus, Henry and all the officers who happened to have heard Shawn's speech was staring. For one thing, Shawn had just admitted that he was scared. He never did that, and yes he said it in an odd way and didn't straight up say it, but the idea was there. Shawn admitted he was scared. And the second point, Shawn had made a good point. They had no idea what to do and Yang would know more than they would. It was worth a shot.

"We could give it a try" Juliet said. "I mean, she has made a lot of improvement. They're calling her a model prisoner patient."

"Alright." Carlton said at last. "Fine. Let's go see Yang."

* * *

It was all very odd, as it usually is when you walk through a psychiatric prison. Everyone was in white and of course they had to walk right on through the white halls in the white building where there are white padded cells. Finally, they were allowed to meet Yang again. To Shawn's surprise, they weren't led to a padded cell like last time. Instead, they were lead to an open room with tables and psychiatric prison patients chained to them. And in the middle of it all was Yang, chained to her table, smiling up no one else but Shawn.

"Hi Shawny" Yang said, with her smile fixed on her face. Juliet and Carlton exchanged a look at the name, remembering very well what the letter had called him.

"Yang" Shawn greeted.

"And friends" Yang greeted the others, her smile somewhat fading.

"Yang" the others greeted her. Yang turned back to Shawn, her smile quickly returning.

"Are you wearing make up?" Gus asked.

"I am. It's part of my new self esteem class. Do you think I look pretty?"

"That depends. How-"

"Yes, you look pretty" Shawn interrupted. "You're a pretty, pretty princess, now-"

"You look so much happier now, Shawn. What's new?" Her face dropped instantly. "Have you got a new girl?" Juliet's eyes widened just for a second (How could she have known?) and then she prayed her partner didn't notice. He didn't, but, of course, Yang never missed a thing. She wouldn't call her out on it yet, but she could still have some fun.

"Uhh... that's... that's not what this is about-"

"You _do!_" Yang yelled out. "Shawn Spencer has taken a _lover_! Yaaay!" Yang started to clap loudly and soon everyone in the room was clapping

"Okay, okay... stop..." Shawn said, uncomfortable with the situation. "We need to ask you a couple questions" Shawn said. The two detectives stared at Shawn and how serious he was.

"Anything for you, Shawny." Carlton pulled out the letter from the day before and regretfully handed it over to Yang. She read over it once, twice, three times… before she put down the letter with a frown.

"So I guess I'm not getting a jailbreak then" Yang said at last, trying to hide her stress behind a crooked smile.

"Not now, not ever" Carlton said.

"Tell us about Yin" Juliet said, not willing to make eye contact with Yang. The only reason she was here was because she wanted to take care of Shawn. That's it. Otherwise, she'd be running in the opposite direction of all of this Yin-Yang madness.

"I can't do that" Yang said sadly.

"Why not?" Shawn asked.

"It wouldn't do you much good" Yang said. "He's decided. _Yin and Yang will be reunited_. I was hoping it wouldn't be you."

"What do you mean by that?"

"He's had an eye on you for _years_. When we first saw you in the paper, he just looked at me and I knew what he was thinking. He wanted you to join."

"Join him in Yin and Yang? No thank you."

"No, not join _him_. He'll be long gone by the time you join."

"What are you talking about?" Carlton asked. "Join _who_?" Yang ignored him, showing them clearly that she had said too much.

"Why would he be long gone by the time I join?" Shawn asked.

"It's one of the principles" Yang said.

"Principles? What principles?"

"There are three main ones. One, Yin and Yang depend on each other. Two, Yin can become Yang and Yang can become Yin. Three, Yin and Yang consume each other."

"What… does that have to do with-"

"One: He depends on you, and you depend on him. As criminals and detectives, you depend on each other. What's crime without law? What's law without crime? Two: You're Yang now, but you can become Yin. Which is what he's trying to do. Three: For Yin or Yang to become the other, it has to be finished, or consumed by the other. Those are the three principles put into play."

"That's insane" Shawn said. "You're insane. This is all completely and entirely _insane!_" Shawn yelled.

"Look around, Shawny. Of course it's insane" Yang said.

"No, this is completely insane!" Shawn stood up and glared fiercely at Yang. Guards from around the visitation room started to stare. "This is completely _mad_! I'm not Yang, I'm not Yin, I'm not _becoming_ anything! I am Shawn! I will always be _Shawn_! Not Yang, not Yin, SHAWN!"

"Oh, you're so naive" Yang said. Shawn opened his mouth to start yelling again, but instead he just closed his mouth and stormed away.

"Shawn, wait" Juliet called after him and followed after him. Gus and Carlton stared awkwardly between Yang and the furious Shawn who had just stormed out.

"My poor Shawny" Yang said. "I don't think he quite understands what he's about to go through."

"… Why?" Gus asked hesitantly.

"What is he about to go through?" Carlton asked.

"Hell and back. And then he'll never see any of you again."

* * *

Juliet followed Shawn out of the building. It wasn't just because she had to protect her secret boyfriend. Nono, she loved this man. He was stressed out and panicking, so of course she would chase after him and make sure he was alright. Shawn walked towards the familiar Ford Fusion and leaned on it, waiting for Carlton to finally come out so he could get the hell away from this place.

"Shawn?" Juliet asked.

"Hey Jules. Sorry about that. I just… um… I-"

"Shawn, it's okay. I get it. It's perfectly normal to be stressed out about this, but please believe me, we're going to take care of you."

"Yeah, but Jules, I'm supposed to take care of _you_."

"Don't be silly, Shawn. I'm a cop, I really care about you and you're in danger. I'm going to take care of you, and so will Carlton and Gus and your dad and the chief. We've got your back on this, okay?"

"Okay… okay. I really care about you too" Shawn said, and he leaned down towards her, just inches away from kissing her.

"O'HARA!" Carlton yelled as he walked out of the building. Shawn and Juliet quickly jumped apart, trying as hard as possible to not look suspicious.

"Yes… Carlton?" Juliet said, still recovering from nearly being caught.

"Chief just called, we need to head out, a body has just been found" Carlton said.

"Look, Carlton, we're kind of in the middle of our Yin investigation. Can't another detective handle this?" Carlton shook his head sadly.

"They found half a Yin-Yang symbol at the crime scene."


	3. Complete

**Hello lovelys! I'm still on my trip, this is the last of my pre written chapters, but the next one should be up in about a week, maybe more (most likely more. Sorry. I'm a busy bee).**

**For this chapter (and most likely all chapters to come), **_**Italics**_** are flashbacks. Not much else to say about this chapter. Enjoy!**

**Please review! I love all types of reviews, the good, the bad, the wonderful, the criticisms, even if it's just to correct my awful grammar. Please review! You know you want to.**

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December 22nd, 2010

After the psychiatric prison, the two detectives and the Psych duo headed to the newest crime scene. At first, Juliet and Carlton wanted to leave Shawn and Gus at the station, where it would be sure that he would be safe. But he kept insisting that he should be at the crime scene. After all, the letter was sent to him, he would be able to interpret the crime scene better. So, after a lot of convincing, Carlton let Shawn come to the crime scene, under the condition that Shawn always be in the company of either an officer or a detective (no, Gus didn't count).

They arrived at a university dorm room within five minutes. They walked in and immediately, they found the black half of the Yin-Yang symbol spray painted onto the walls. They walked further into the room to find a young girl dead in her bed. As soon as Gus saw her, he had to run out of the room. There wasn't much blood, Gus was just squeamish. The poor university student still had her English assignment on her desk, notes written all over it.

"What was her name?" Shawn asked.

"Allison. Allison Cowley" Carlton said.

"So what was the cause of death? Trauma to the head?" Juliet asked, assuming from the dried blood going from her head down to her chin.

"Actually, no" Woody said. "She actually died from strangulation. The trauma to the head was probably just to knock her out."

"Time of death?" Shawn asked.

"Spencer! You're not investigating this!" Carlton snapped. "It's not your case, it's ours. You're only here for safety. Now…" Carlton stared at Woody awkwardly. "Time of death?"

"My guess is somewhere between five and seven in the morning. I won't know for sure until I run some tests."

"Well get on it then" Carlton ordered. Woody looked around, unsure how to do the tests without his lab. In the end, he just walked out of the room, not willing to deal with Carlton.

"Why would Yin target her?" Gus asked.

"Well, he seems to go after people you meet or… know" Juliet said, fighting the lump in her throat.

"Jules, you know you don't have to be here, right?" Shawn asked. "We get it, you don't have to… pretend-"

"I'm fine" Juliet snapped at him. "Did you know this girl or not, Shawn?"

"No, she doesn't really ring a bell…" Shawn said. Then he looked at the dead girl more closely. There was definitely something very familiar about this girl. "Wait… maybe? I…"

_A blonde girl bumped into Shawn, three days ago, in a store. Her books fell to the floor and she bent over to pick them up. Shawn felt bad and followed after her, kneeling down and collecting her books for her._

"_I'm so sorry about that" the blonde girl said._

"_Don't worry about it" Shawn said with his usual smile. He noticed one of the books still in her hand, with her professor's name on it. "So how are you finding you're Romantic History class?"_

"_It's not what I expected, but it's actually really good" She answered, not really thinking about it._

"_And what about Professor Rotmensen?"_

"_Oh, he's amazing. I'm trying to get him as my mentor… wait a minute…" Finally, she caught on. "How do you know all this? Are you stalking me?"_

"_Oh, I'm sorry. I forgot to tell you, sometimes it happens. I just forget what I should know and what I find out from one of my visions. I didn't mean to scare you like that."_

"_Visions? What are you, psychic?"_

Shawn groaned at the memory. Yin had done it again, that bastard. Someone merely made contact with the pseudo psychic and now they're dead. How was that fair to anyone? To the poor girl who did nothing wrong? To the psychic who would now blame himself until he solved it?

"Yes, I know her" Shawn said softly. "She bumped into me at a store. I helped her with her books."

"Damn, Spencer. She's a college student. Were you really flirting with her?" Carlton asked.

"I wasn't flirting" Shawn insisted. "I was just being helpful."

"Well, there's a first time for everything."

_After Shawn helped the blonde girl, he quickly left the store. He had gotten everything he need anyways. The blonde girl walked towards a man in a long coat and a Stetson. Shawn noticed her walking up to him and thought the man was shady at first, but he didn't say anything. He figured, the girl obviously knew him and she seemed so nice. Why could she be mixed up in?_

Now, Shawn looked out the window and saw the same thing. A man in a long coat and a Stetson was just down across the street. Now his original suspicion of the man came back to bite him in the ass. He should have done something. Maybe if he had, the blonde girl wouldn't be dead right now. As if the original guilt wasn't enough, Shawn now had this piled on top of it as well. Now he knew he _had_ to solve this, all of it. It was the only way to make things right again.

"I'm getting something!" Shawn yelled out, putting his hands to his head and flailing about the room like a mad man.

"Is it a vision?" Juliet asked.

"Yes! I'm… I'm seeing a man! The man who killed the girl-"

"Spencer!" Carlton yelled. "You're not on the case! Stop trying to investigate and just sit still!"

"Carlton, why does it matter if he's on the case?" Juliet asked. "If he's got a vision of the killer why wouldn't we use it to our advantage?"

"Why are you defending him so much, O'Hara?"

BANG

Everyone stopped what they were doing. They stopped their bickering, stopped snapping photos of the crime scene, they just stopped doing everything. They all hesitated for another couple seconds before they sprang into action, running down the stairs. They had just heard a gunshot, after all. Most of them were embarrassed enough for having taken this long to react. Someone could have been shot, someone could need their help.

Shawn and Gus followed after Juliet and Carlton quickly. Shawn quickly forgot about what he wanted to have a 'vision' about. It could wait until later. All he could think about was that there could be someone else shot or dead and he would just end up blaming himself again. He saw the shady guy outside, and there was not a doubt in his mind that he was the one behind it all. He should have said something sooner.

"Spencer! What the hell do you think you're doing?" Carlton yelled when they reached the bottom of the stairs.

"There was a gunshot, Lassie. What do you think I'm doing?" Shawn asked.

"No, you're staying here. For all we know who ever fired that gun is with Yin and is coming after you. just stay put, will you?" Carlton didn't wait for an answer. He just quickly ran out the doors (because he knew Shawn wouldn't listen. This way, he had warned Shawn and didn't hear any protests. It's not his fault if Shawn followed him out).

"We're not going to listen to him, are we?" Gus asked, constantly looking back and forth between Shawn and the front door.

"Come on, son!" Shawn said. "Of course not. Let's go." And so, Gus led the way out to the crowd.

Outside, Carlton and Juliet both had their guns drawn. Other officers were assuring other college students that the situation was under control and that they should go back inside. The detectives circled the building, searching for the gunshot or at least an injured person. Other officers were searching inside the building, although they didn't expect to find anything inside. After all, the gunshot clearly came from the outside.

No luck. They didn't find anything outside, inside or nearby. There wasn't even a drop of blood on the pavement or grass. At least they could take comfort in the fact that no one was shot, no one was in extreme need for their help. But still, a gun was fired in a college area. This was not okay by them, especially not so close to the dead girl. They were determined to find the guy who fired, but they weren't so lucky.

"It's possible it wasn't even a real gun" Juliet noted. "It could be an air gun or something. It could just be some college kid making a lot of noise."

"Doesn't seem impossible" Carlton agreed. "There's not even a drop of blood. it could be completely unrelated to the girl."

"Shawn, what were you saying upstairs?" Juliet asked out loud, assuming Shawn would be right behind them. He always was, so why wouldn't he be now? But there was no answer. "Shawn?"

"Spencer, stop being an ass. Just tell us…" Carlton turned around to face Shawn but stopped mid-sentence. "Where the hell is he?" Juliet and Gus turned around to be greeted by nothing.

"Shawn?" Gus called out. Juliet and Gus exchanged a panicked look.

"Now, let's not get ahead of ourselves" Carlton said calmly. "I _did_ tell Spencer to stay in the building…" But he couldn't even fully convince himself.

"Lassie, when has Shawn _ever_ listened to you?" Gus asked. They stared at each other for exactly one second before the three of them ran back towards the front door and back into the building.

"SPENCER!" Carlton yelled inside. No answer.

"Shawn, I swear to God, if this is a joke it's not funny and I'm going to hurt you!" Gus yelled. No answer. The three of them started to panic, searching each and every room, screaming Shawn's name as they searched. There was never any answers.

"There were around _ten_ officers here!" Carlton yelled to no one in particular. "How the hell does someone like Shawn, who's our _top _priority go missing?!"

"We were searching for the gunman…" one officer answered. Carlton wanted to yell, but he couldn't. He gave the order to search and he gave Shawn the order to stay put. "SPENCER!" he yelled more desperately.

"Carlton!" Juliet's croak was only barely audible over the crowd. Gus and Carlton both heard her and quickly made their way to the source of the noise. They found Juliet in the hall near the front door, tears in her eyes and a hand over her mouth. She was staring at the floor shaking her head. Gus and Carlton, almost afraid to look down forced themselves to do just that.

On the floor was a complete Yin-Yang symbol.


	4. A Couple Broken Hearts

**Hello lovelys! I'm back from my trip (which was simply wonderful! Hope you're all having a wonderful 2013 Summer)! **

**So here's the latest chapter after my lovely cliff hanger I left you guys last week. You love me really. Next update should be within about a week. I'm trying to go back to my regularly updating self. How's it working out so far?**

**Please review! Despite my evil cliff hangers that I leave I do have a heart and it always warms when I read your lovely reviews! So please do, whether it's good, bad or just a correction from something I type (because I am aware that my grammar and spelling etc. etc. isn't all that good. I apologise for that) please review! You know you want to.**

* * *

December 22nd, 2010

Everyone was back at the station. Allison Cowley's body was brought in so that Woody could do a full autopsy and find out exactly what happened to her. But, in all honesty, no one was thinking about the poor dead girl. Yes, they wanted to find the killer. Yes, they wanted to make things better. But there was only one thing that overtook everyone's conscious thought. That one thing was Shawn Spencer.

They had one job. They had only one real task that they had to stick to. They had to keep Shawn safe. They had to keep him away from Yin. That was all they had to do. And they let him down. In a building filled with officers and detectives, Shawn was taken away from them.

He was gone for only an hour, but the press had already gotten hold of all of the information. They were already at the college for the report on the dead college girl, but they stayed and interviewed everyone they could for the disappearance for everyone's favourite psychic. The news report on Shawn's disappearance was aired every couple minutes. It seemed everyone in Santa Barbara had nothing better to do than listen to how the police screwed up and lost their psychic.

"The notorious Yin and Yang serial killers have returned, claiming a new victim. None other than our local psychic, Shawn Spencer. Chief Karen Vick assured us that the Santa Barbara Police Department is doing everything in their power to find their psychic consultant, however our sources have reported that they were given a two day warning about his disappearance and nothing was done to prevent it. One has to wonder, how safe _are_ we-"

The officers would always change the channel at this point. As if they didn't feel enough guilt for letting Shawn get away, they had to deal with every news channel blaming them for it too, emphasising the fact that they were given warning, insinuating that the police were useless and did nothing to prevent it. The chief had received countless calls asking for a statement or criticising her department. But she would shut them all out. She wasn't ready to deal with them yet. She cared about Shawn, and the thought that she let him down depressed her.

In fact, there was not a single person in the station who wasn't depressed thinking about Shawn. He was the life and soul of the police. If anyone else had been taken, everyone knew that Shawn would be here cheering everyone up and trying to inspire them to work harder to find them. They knew that Shawn would be able to crack the case easily. They knew that Shawn could not only do it, but somehow manage to make everyone else feel better about their huge mistake. But the depressing fact of the matter was that Shawn wasn't here. The one time he really needed his friends and they had let him down. Everyone blamed themselves.

Gus had pulled up a chair near Juliet's desk. Gus was still kicking himself about what had happened. He knew he was supposed to keep his best friend safe. He should have let Shawn lead the way, that way Gus could have watched his back, just like Shawn had done countless times for him. He had picked up a pillow from the chief's room and held it to his stomach, the exact same way that Shawn had done so many times before. It was the only way that Gus could feel better about what happened, the only way he could feel like Shawn was still there with him.

Juliet was sitting at her desk next to Gus. She was depressed and at this point she didn't care if anyone figured out the reason she was taking this so badly. Shawn was her boyfriend, she cared for him so much. She even believed (though she had never told anyone, not even Shawn) that she was in love with the psychic. It was true. She loved him. And she couldn't keep him safe like she had promised to only a couple hours ago. She had let him down. Juliet remembered what she went through when she was taken by Yin as if it were yesterday. It was one of the most terrifying experiences she ever went through, but she knew that Shawn was out looking for her. She knew that she had the entire SBPD working together to find her. She knew that Shawn at least had leads when she was taken. This time, they were coming up empty handed, and she could only imagine what the psychopath had in store for Shawn.

Even Carlton (especially Carlton) was depressed from what had happened. He couldn't get it out of his head. He had given the orders at the college. He had told everyone to investigate the gunshot. He had told Shawn to stay in the building. He left Shawn alone. He felt that he was to blame for Shawn being taken away. And he hated himself for it. To top it all off, Shawn was having one of his 'visions' right before the gunshot. That vision could have been exactly what they needed, and Carlton shut him up. Oh, Carlton hated himself so much.

Henry burst through the front doors of the station. The chief had called him not even ten minutes ago to tell him the bad news. He wouldn't hear of it and insisted on coming in. The broken hearts of every member of the SBPD broke a little more at the site of a broken and desperate Henry Spencer storming through the precinct. They didn't even try to stop him as he threw open the doors to the chief's office.

"Where's Shawn?" Henry croaked out. At the sound of his voice, Carlton couldn't bear to even look anymore. He shook his head and walked towards the coffee, trying to fight away any emotion that was threatening to ruin him.

"Henry, please-" the chief tried.

"No. You can't tell me Yin took him."

"It happened-"

"It shouldn't have! You were given a two day notice! Yin told you exactly what would happened! You can't tell me that despite that very clear warning the bastard still got my son!"

"Henry-"

"He's my _son_, Karen! He should have been safe surrounded by a bunch of cops! You should have protected him! But he's gone now."

"We don't know that, Henry. We still need to have hope-"

"Hope? Come _on_, Karen! _Yin_ has got him! You know as well as I do that he's as good as dead right now… and _you_ were supposed to protect him from this." Everyone stared in shock as they saw the indestructible Henry Spencer bring his hand to his forehead and rub his face stressed before finally wiping away the tears that were threatening to fall.

There was only one thing worse than telling a parent they may never see their child again. And that was watching their heart break right in front of you, knowing that you should have done something more to protect them.

* * *

December 23rd, 2010

Everyone had worked through the night. They had no leads, no idea where to start, no idea where this could possibly lead to. All they knew was that Shawn was important to them and they had to do everything within their power to find him. They refused to sleep until they had at least _something_ to go on. But it was now nine in the morning and they were still coming up with nothing.

Buzz was sitting in the reception, depressed and trying very hard not to think about how this was the very spot that he received the letter from Yin in the first place. This was where it had all started. This is where they started to let him down. He tried very hard not to think about it. Shawn was his friend and he felt that he had let him down. He should have been there for him, but he wasn't. The sound of the fax machine starting up again was enough to drag Buzz away from his depressing thoughts. He turned to face the fax. His eyes widened and his jaw dropped when he saw what they were receiving.

Buzz grabbed the letter and ran through the precinct. He finally found the whole gang, busy around Carlton's desk trying to find out where Yin could have possibly taken Shawn. He broke through the crowd and placed the new letter on the table. Everyone stared at him in confusion. Only Henry stared at the actual letter and nearly cried out in relief.

On the letter was a picture of Shawn, tied up but conscious and a newspaper dating the 23rd of December on his lap. He was in a dark room, a gag around his mouth, his eyes barely open and his arms tied behind his back. While it _was_ a very dark room, they could still very clearly see blood streaming from his head down his face. But for now they had to focus on what this picture was. It was proof of life. There wasn't much hope in this whole investigation, so when they were finally given this tiny shred of exactly that, they fully intended on clinging tightly to it and making the most of it. For now, Shawn was alive.

Carlton turned the letter over and found message from none other than Yin.

_Hi everybody!  
Looks like the game of Yin and Yang continues. I'll be borrowing Shawny for a couple days for some tests, hope you don't mind, but this will be the last time you see your precious psychic. Don't cry Papa Spencer. I'll let you know how your psychic gets on.  
Signed,  
Mr. Yin._

Everyone stared at the letter and the picture of Shawn with mixed feelings. On the one hand, Shawn was alive. They had to focus on that or they'd all go insane. For now, Shawn is alive. They haven't completely let him down yet. There's still a shred of hope. However… on the other hand, Yin said it was the last time they'd ever see him again. They weren't sure how seriously to take this threat yet. At this point, after their last mistake, they decided to take is _very_ seriously.

"Wait… what's that?" Gus asked, pointing at the picture of Shawn. In the top right corner they could see a small piece of light.

"I don't know… it looks like a… window?" Carlton guessed.

"It is" Henry confirmed, squinting at it. "There's something shown in the window too."

"Right. Gregg!" Carlton yelled out. The tech guy approached him quickly, afraid to upset him more than he already was.

"Yes sir?"

"Trace the fax."

"But it's-"

"Don't give me excuses, just do it!" Carlton yelled. "Let's go see Dwayne."

"Who?" Henry asked.

"He'll get a better look at this photo, see if we can check what's outside this window. Let's go people!"

Carlton was back in charge. He had to do this for Shawn. He had to get him back. There was a tiny shred of hope now, and he had to go with it. They finally had some tiny lead, they finally had a clue. They were going to run with this. They had to get their psychic back.


	5. Not Quite Like TV

**Hello lovelys! So… how am I doing in the 'regular update' category? Awesome, right? I know. There no need to thank me, really. **

**So this chapter is rather short. I kind of got a little too into the last chapter and wrote some things that should have been in this chapter… oh well. It still works, so no problem. **

**By the way, prepare yourself. You won't hear from Shawn's side of the story for a long while. There is method to my madness, just bear with me.**

**Please review! I do love all types of reviews, the good, the bad and the wonderful. You have all been amazing so far, and I'm sorry I never really got to thank you for the reviews before. They do mean a lot to me so to all you people reviewing, favourite-ing, following etc. etc. thanks so much! Even you lurkers. The simple fact you're reading it means a lot (but if you feel like dropping a review, go on ahead and do it). Glad you're all liking it so far!**

* * *

December 23rd, 2010

The whole gang made their way to Dwayne, the very useful but often forgotten tech guy. He was the person to go to specifically when regarding photos. He could edit the photos (remove wrinkles, or clefts in chins, long hair and beards) and he could distinguish between original photos and fake photos (say, to see if a photo really did show two people standing next to each other or if it was just made to look that way). He was the guy to go to, yes. but people often forgot all about him.

Hell, the only reason Carlton knew him by name was because Shawn had teased him earlier in the week about not knowing enough of his co-workers by name (Juliet, of course, agreed with Shawn. She always agreed with him).

"Alright, _Dwayne_" Carlton said, smirking just a little bit in Juliet's direction. He was completely ignored. Slightly awkward from the neglect, Carlton just cleared his throat and continued. "We got this photo faxed over to us." The Head Detective handed over the photo from earlier that morning. "We need you to see if you can make anything of this" Carlton pointed at the top right corner of the photo, the window and hopefully Yin's biggest mistake.

"I'll give it a shot" Dwayne said sadly. In all honesty, he was shaken up about Shawn's disappearance just as much as the others were. Shawn was the only person who had bothered to learn his name or have more than a minute long conversation with him (he didn't count Carlton. Dwayne knew Shawn was behind that).

Dwayne had managed to pull a high resolution copy of the photo onto the screen. He managed to zoom into the far right corner and even managed to slightly increase the focus of the photo to get a better view of the window. But, there is only so much you can do with zoom.

"This is the best I can give you" Dwayne said at last.

"What, that's it?" Gus asked, staring at the screen. "But… it's all blurry and… I can hardly see anything."

"This isn't TV, Guster" Carlton said only slightly annoyed as he leaned in towards the computer screen.

"There's only so much digital enhancement can do" Dwayne explained. "I could keep zooming in, but it would just make it worst. I can't change the resolution of the picture that drastically."

"Well" Henry said, with the smallest of smiles on his face. "When I was on the force, we didn't even _use_ any of this fancy digital work. It was just detectives using our head." Carlton rolled his eyes and focused again on the photo.

"I see a street sign" Juliet said, finally feeling a tiny glimpse of hope to finding her boyfriend (and possible love of her life… she still wasn't entirely sure at this moment).

"Can you make out what it says?" Gus asked, desperately squinting at the screen. Juliet just sighed in response.

"We're all certainly trying" Carlton answered for his partner.

"West Sola Street" Dwayne said suddenly. "And De La Vina Street." That earned him several looks from the three other people in the room. "People often forget about me in this room so I have nothing better to do than play a couple rounds of the 'which celebrity's face did we blur past recognition' game. I've gotten pretty good at it."

"So this is at a cross road?" Juliet clarified.

"Between West Sola Street and De La Vina Street" Dwayne confirmed.

"Well that certainly narrows it down" Carlton said. "Dwayne, I'm going to need you to look up video tape surveillance of this street corner. Any video surveillance will do-"

"Lassiter-" Gus tried, but failed.

"O'Hara, you come with me, we're going to go directly there and see if we can find some kind of van that has recently parked-"

"Lassiter-"

"Dwayne, when you get any news on the surveillance reach me on my cell-"

"LASSIE!" Gus finally yelled.

"What?!" Carlton returned the yell.

"What I was _trying_ to tell you, was that I know a motel that's right at the street corner. It's normally empty and the owners are fairly broke. They'd let anyone have a room for the right price." Carlton raised an eyebrow at him. "There's a doctor on my route that's just across the street from the motel. She's a real gossip" Gus explained.

"Right, well that's a lead" Juliet said. "I say we at least check up on it." Carlton nodded his head in agreement.

"Dwayne, stick onto that surveillance task. Keep me posted. Guster, Henry… stay put."

"What?" Henry demanded.

"I just gave you the lead!" Gus exclaimed. "Shouldn't I get to at least check up on it?"

"You two are _far_ too emotionally involved" Carlton said. Henry and Gus looked over at Juliet for some back up. instead she shrugged sadly.

"I'm with Carlton on this" Juliet answered, hoping neither of them would bring up her relationship with Shawn just to spite her. She could tell they weren't happy with her at that moment, but she could at least take comfort in the fact that they didn't seem to have any intention on outing her. Instead they looked back at Carlton.

Carlton simply looked at the two of them and said finally through clenched teeth,"Now stay. Put." He glared at both of them for a couple seconds before feeling he had done a sufficient amount of threatening and walked out of the room. Henry and Gus waited exactly five seconds after the detectives left before following after them and entering Gus' Echo.

* * *

Henry and Gus arrived a couple seconds after the two detectives entered the motel at the street corner. They both quietly and stealthily entered the motel after Carlton and Juliet. They had never coordinated their plan or even talked about what they were going to do. All they knew was that Shawn meant a lot to them and they would do anything to find him. That included, apparently, following a couple detectives on a lead when they had been specifically told many times to stay in the station.

They heard Carlton talk to the receptionist, demanding to know if anyone had come in paying for a room in cash. There was a lot of arguing between the two. The receptionist insisting that most people paid in cash there and Carlton just being difficult. He kept asking the same questions, only worded slightly differently. The answer would always be, "I'm sorry, Detective, but almost all our customers pay in cash. Could you give me any details about this particular client?" They just went around in circles. Finally, Juliet butted in.

"He was wearing a fedora" she said, thinking about the time she was taken by Yin. "Most likely asked for a room that was slightly isolated from the rest. He was really picky about the room." Carlton stared at his partner slightly worried about her.

"We got someone like that" the receptionist said quickly. "Room 37. Third floor. No one on the second floor, no one on the fourth floor. All other customer's preferred first floor." The receptionist then handed over a key and the two detectives headed towards the elevator. "This guy isn't… wanted, is he? He's not some serial killer or something crazy like that… is he?" they paused for a moment before Juliet turned to face the receptionist again.

"Why did you agree to give him such an isolated room?" she asked.

"I don't know. I thought… maybe he was waiting for a certain lady friend and wanted to be alone for whatever reason. Maybe it was an affair or a forbidden love or-"

"A serial killer preparing the perfect room for his next victim" Juliet finished. The receptionist shut her mouth and looked down. Carlton stared at his partner in shock before pulling her by the elbow into the elevator.

Henry and Gus were just as surprised. They never thought Juliet would guilt trip someone like that, especially when it was clear they had just made a mistake. But, then again, they were dealing with Yin. Juliet had bad experiences with Yin and probably couldn't stand the thought that someone could actually come in contact with the sick bastard and not arrest his sorry ass. And then, of course, this case centred around her boyfriend. She was a bit too emotionally attached, and it showed.

The detectives stood by door number 37. They each stood on either side of the door, completely oblivious to Gus and Henry who were peeking out from the house keeping closet. Carlton knocked on the door twice, but there was no answer. Juliet put in the key and the door unlocked. Juliet turned the knob and pushed the door open just a crack. Just as they were preparing to fling the doors open, Carlton's phone went off. Juliet stared in shock while Carlton simply hurried to answer.

"Dwayne" Carlton hissed into his phone.

'Sorry, bad time?' Dwayne asked on the other side of the phone conversation.

"A bit. Doesn't matter, what have you got?"

'It's actually worrying how easily he was caught on tape' Dwayne said, more to himself than Carlton. 'I caught him on the surveillance camera at the Doctor's office Gus was talking about. He arrived at the motel at around nine o'clock sharp in the morning. He never got out of his car but he left again at two minutes past nine.'

"How can you be sure it was him then?"

'Big van, tinted windows except for one tiny corner which happened to be facing the street sign. It was him for sure.'

"I don't suppose you managed to get the license plate, did you?"

'Sorry, the plates were blank.' Carlton just sighed and shook his head. 'But that's not the only disturbing part' Dwayne continued.

"I don't have all day. Spit it out already."

'I checked surveillance videos going back to yesterday morning. I found the same white van pulled up next to the motel at eight in the morning. A man in a fedora and long coat walked out of the van and into the motel. He didn't come out again until three in the afternoon.'

"Giving him more than enough time to set up a trap for us" Carlton said softly. Juliet's eyes widened as she heard Carlton's side of the phone call. "Good work, Dwayne." And with that, Carlton hung up on the very much forgotten tech guy. Juliet and Carlton made eye contact. There was a trap lying behind these doors for them.

Unfortunately for these two detectives, Henry was losing his patience. He hadn't heard the phone conversation. He had no idea that there was any kind of trap waiting for them behind those doors. As far as Henry was aware, his son was in that room with a crazy serial killer. He had to get him out of there. So, without thinking, Henry left his hiding spot and marched straight to room 37, despite Gus's constant protests. Eventually, Gus had no choice but to follow.

"Carlton, Juliet" Henry called out loudly. The two detectives quickly looked over at Henry in shock. Had they really been so blind that they didn't even notice Henry and Gus following them?

"Henry? I told you to stay put!" Carlton yelled.

"You also told my son to 'stay put'. Look where that got him." the hall was suddenly dead silent.

Carlton had been blaming himself for Shawn's disappearance from the moment it happened. While he thought those very words to himself, he never expected to hear them come from someone else. While Carlton blamed himself, he never expected anyone else to blame him. And as far as he knew, no one else did blame him. Not Juliet, not Gus, not even the chief. But Henry… that was a different story. Henry blamed everyone.

In this small moment of stunned silence, Henry decided to push open the door to room 37. The door slipped from Juliet's grasp and swung out ferociously. Only Carlton noticed the ticking that started as soon as the door opened. Only Carlton noticed the ticking starting to speed up at an incredible pace. Only Carlton realised that there was a bomb planted in the room, set to go off when the door opened.

"GET DOWN!" Carlton yelled. He grabbed both Juliet and Henry's wrist and pulled them aside from direct contact with the explosion. Everyone jumped onto the floor and covered their heads, bracing themselves for the mother of all explosions.

A loud deafening sound and the raging inferno that surrounded them was the last thing they remembered before everything went black.

* * *

**Note: The two streets I mentioned in this chapter I got off Google Maps, the motel is completely made up. I could have made up the street name, but I'm rubbish at that.**


	6. Shirley Benson

**Hello lovelys! At the moment updates are nice and regular, but soon they won't be. I'm moving now and need to sort out all my things… **

**So this chapter is an interesting one. Not as interesting as the next one will be, but still interesting. I hope you guys enjoy this chapter, I certainly enjoyed writing it.**

**It's a bit confusing, but all of it will make sense in later chapters (next chapter, lots of answers, the one after that is… well... intense... you'll see. And then the one after that has lots of answers too (I've planned this FanFic chapter by chapter. I know exactly what will happen and when it will happen)). Anyways, let's not get focused on future chapters. Look, there's a lovely new one right below! Let's focus on that!**

**You've all been so lovely with reviews, please keep it up! Especially in this chapter. I want to know if it's maybe too confusing... **

**It means so much to me to simply hear what you have to say about this FanFic! Please review, even if it's just to say 'this good' or something among those lines. Just to hear your opinion means the world to me, so please review! You know you want to.**

* * *

December 26th, 2010

Carlton Lassiter was not a patient man. He was also not the type of man to spend three unnecessary days in a hospital, especially when he was in the middle of a case. True, he had barely been able to keep his eyes open for more than an hour in those past four days, but he figured that was still time he could have used to find Shawn.

The explosion in the motel room was bad. It could have been worst, but it was still bad. Carlton got the worst of it, what with worrying about the other three people around him and all. He had received several second degree burns along his arms and one third degree burn on his back. Juliet and Henry both had second degree burns across their arms and some minor burns on their back, but Carlton was able to protect them from a worse fate. Whereas Gus, on the other hand, was already quite far away from the door when the explosion went off. He got away with minor burns and a bruise.

Gus was the only one of the whole group that was not confined to a hospital bed. On the day of the explosion, sure. Gus had to spend the night in the hospital, just to check that he was okay. The others were kept in for longer. Juliet was released the on Christmas day, early in the morning. Henry was released on Christmas day as well, but several hours later. He tried to ignore the fact that Juliet got let out a good four hours earlier. This wasn't something to feel competitive about.

As soon as the two got out of the hospital, they went back to trying to track Shawn. They tried calling his phone or tracing the GPS tracker they had put in after he had been shoved in the truck of a car, but there was no luck. They didn't think it would have been very effective. After all, that's pretty much all they had to go on and all they could do for the past couple days. If it didn't work then, why would it work now?

It wasn't until the clock struck midnight and Christmas was officially over did the three of them finally realised they missed Shawn's favourite holiday. Henry still had his mystery gift wrapped up at home, waiting for Shawn to guess what it was.

Now at last, however, Carlton was being released. Well, he said released. What he really meant was he threatened the doctors more than necessary to get out of there. He felt he needed to be on the case, not in a hospital bed. And so an hour of angry threatening and one hissed phone call later, Juliet was at the hospital, picking up her partner.

"You should really stay a bit longer" Juliet said from behind the wheel. Carlton was riding in the passenger seat and he hated it.

"Why would I stay there? I'm on a case, O'Hara" he said without looking at her.

"_We're_ on a case, Carlton. And your physical well-being is still important to us."

"I'll be fine. Just fill me in on any new information you got while I was gone." Silence. "You didn't get any new information, did you?"

"It's not like we didn't try" Juliet defended. "There's just not a trace of Yin or Shawn."

"What about the van on the video surveillance?"

"We followed it for as long as we could. The last camera showed the van going into a highway. He could be anywhere by now."

"Did you try tracing Shawn's GPS?"

"Only about a hundred times." Juliet sighed a defeated sigh. "We have no leads. I have no idea where to go from here, Carlton." An idea popped into the Head Detective's head and he almost wanted to yell at himself for thinking it. But it was the only possible lead.

"Well think" Carlton said. "What would Shawn suggest we do right now if he were here?"

"Pineapple smoothies?"

"No."

"Chicken?"

"No."

"… Yang…"

"Exactly."

* * *

The two detectives sat at the visiting table, waiting for Yang's arrival. They had intended to come alone, without anyone who was too emotionally involved, but somehow that didn't happen. Carlton tried to sound forceful when he told Henry to stay behind while they talked to Yang, but the only response he got from the distressed father was a guilt trip and blame. So in the end, Carlton let them come. At this point, he didn't see the harm in having two extra people come and interpret what Yang had to say. So the two detectives, Henry and Gus sat at the visiting table, waiting for Yang's arrival.

They all sat in silence, not sure what to expect. After a couple minutes which felt like years, a handcuffed Yang started walking towards them with two police escorts. She had a smile on her face as she surveyed her visitors. The smile quickly vanished when she noticed that Shawn wasn't among them. She sat down glumly in front of them and let the guards cuff her to the table. She didn't say a word. Even when the guard finally left them to talk, Yang didn't say a word. She just stared at them.

Carlton cleared his throat twice, fully expecting Yang to be the one to start the conversation. She made it very clear that that wasn't the case.

"Yang" Carlton said. Yang shifted her simple collective look to a specific glare right at the Head Detective. "We um… we need to ask you a few questions."

"We need your help, Yang" Gus said. "Yin took Shawn."

"And whose fault is that?" Yang snapped at him.

"Yin's" Juliet answered easily. Yang looked at Juliet, her glare somewhat fading.

"What have you been doing these past couple days? Why did you not come sooner? I could have helped you" Yang said angrily. "You can't just waste time while Shawn's taken. Every second counts."

"Well, I'm so sorry" Carlton said sarcastically. "There was an attempt on our life by your lovely partner in a motel room, so forgive us for taking a day to recover."

"Don't insult him" Yang warned. "That wasn't an attempt on your life. If he wanted you dead, you would be dead five times already. Whatever happened in the motel room wasn't meant to kill you, it was only meant to buy him time. And _clearly_ it worked." It was so clear to all of them that Yang blamed all of them for what was happening to Shawn, despite the fact that _she_ was Yang.

"We didn't take Shawn. Yin did" Juliet said, trying to find a truce. "We didn't do this to Shawn. I know you have some… attachment to Shawn, you care for him in your own way. We do too. We want to find him, and you should want to help us do that."

"I can't help you find him" Yang said. Gus looked almost shocked at this. She had helped them so much through the last round. He had thought she really cared for Shawn… in her own way. Juliet simply looked disappointed in her. Yang, of course, noticed all of their looks. "I can't help you find him _because_" Yang continued. "I have no idea where he is."

"How can you not know where he is?" Henry asked. "You've been… partners with Yin for the past however many years. How can you not get an idea of where he'd take my son?"

"Look around, Henry. My 'partner' left me in this prison, no jail break, not even a single visit. He doesn't exactly stay in contact, let alone trust me. He knows I'll talk to you, and that's why he'll do the opposite of what I think he will."

"Would you really tell us if you knew?" Gus asked.

"Of course I would. I don't want my Shawny to end up like me."

"He's not going to end up like you" Henry said. "He's not a killer."

"Well, neither was I." everyone stared at Yang. "Oh, don't be so naïve. I wasn't _born_ a serial killer! I wasn't born as _Yang_. I had a name! I had a normal childhood! I had a _life_! I'm as much of a victim as Shawn is!"

It was a moment before anyone dared to speak again.

"What happened?" Gus asked. Yang was taken back for a moment. She was never asked that before. Never.

"I saw the balances in the world and I saw the need to maintain that balance. I saw the truth of Yin and Yang. It's everywhere. And it's my _duty_ to keep the balance. And I hate it."

"I thought you got a little thrill from all your little riddles and tasks" Carlton said with a hint of disgust.

"I do. I enjoy the riddles and tasks I give to other detectives, but not because I get to kill someone. _No_. I enjoy them because that's the only way out of this curse."

"I don't get it" Gus admitted.

"Our riddles and tasks that we give to good detectives isn't to have fun, it's to pass on the burden to someone else. They're _tests_ to see who is worthy to be the next Yin!"

"…Tests?" Henry croaked out. He saw the aftermath of many good cops who took part in these… _tests_.

"There are three tests one must pass in order to be Yin" she continued. "The first one is a test of intelligence. Solve the riddles, save the civilian, prove just how smart you are. Shawn passed that with flying colours." Yang looked down with a frown. "The second test is always the more difficult one. It's a test of coping with the choices we make. Make the future Yin choose between two very important people in their lives and see how they cope with their choice." Yang looked up at Juliet, confirming that she was just a test.

"But, Shawn never really chose" Gus pointed out. "He saved both of them."

"Because of me" Yang said. "I had hoped that if I made Shawn skip one of these test Yin would just leave him alone. Shawn's the perfect person for the next Yin, and I couldn't stand to watch that happen. But, Yin still went after him. He sees just as clearly as I do that Shawn is just… perfect for Yin."

"What's the third test?" Carlton asked, though he had a feeling he really didn't want to know.

"You know… there is a fine line between genius and madness" Yang said. "What we do is… we give them just a little nudge. Just enough so they stumble over that fine line and enter a world of pure insanity. Only then will the Truth be shown. The third test is to see what they do with this knowledge."

"So they can choose whether or not to become Yin?" Henry asked.

"Not quite. You can't ignore the Truth once you see it. There's only one way to run from it. And that's death."

"So basically you tell them to become Yin or you'll kill them?" Carlton asked.

"_We_ don't kill them. We're not killers. All we do is keep the balance. We complete things. _They_ can't handle the truth, so they run from it."

"They kill themselves?" Gus asked

"Why would they do that?" Juliet asked.

"Because after seeing the Truth, they either fight for the balance or stop fighting at all."

"What about their loved ones? What about _us_?" Juliet asked, now bringing the whole conversation back to the present, back to Shawn.

"Gone. Long gone."

"I'm sorry, what?" Gus asked. "We're still here. Very much so."

"Yes, you are. But Shawn doesn't know that. When it's time for him to see the Truth, he'll be told that you're all dead. It'll be damn convincing and he'll believe it."

"Why not actually kill us?" Henry asked.

"As I said. We're not killers. We don't kill for _fun_."

"So, let me get this straight…" Juliet said, still trying to get her head wrapped around it. "The first two riddles were _tests_? My life, Shawn's mom's life and Abigail's life were all put at risk for a couple of _tests_? And now… you're going to drive Shawn insane and hope that he doesn't kill himself?"

"Well, when you say it like that, it sounds like a ridiculous plan. But it's been working for generations. Why fix something that isn't broken?"

"Generations?" Henry asked. "How could there be generations of serial killers and no one notices?"

"It's like you're not even listening to a word I say. Why do I even bother with you?" Yang asked. "I wasn't _born_ as Yang. Someone made me into the horrible beast I am today."

"Horrible beast?" Gus asked. "I'm sorry, but if you hate what you and Yin do… why do you do it?"

"It's one of the burdens of seeing the Truth. Someone has to carry out the terrible deed. If that means getting my hands a little dirty, so be it. It's worst when you don't even have anything to fight for. When you have nothing to fight for, your whole life centres around finding someone to take your place."

"And so now you finally have Shawn to take your place" Henry said accusingly.

"No. He's taking Yin's place. No one's taking my place. I'm fighting."

"What the hell is that supposed to mean-"

"VISITNG HOURS ARE OVER!" a big voice boomed out, echoing around the room. A security guard came to their table with a key to unlock Yang.

"No wait" Juliet said. "This is important-"

"Sorry, ma'am" the guard said. "Visiting hours are over-"

"Look, this is official police business" Carlton said, flashing his badge. "She's a key witness-"

"Well then come back tomorrow during visiting hours" the guard said. "We can't make exceptions or else the other patients get upset."

"It's fine, detectives" Yang said. "Now you have a reason to keep visiting!" Yang had plastered on her usual smile on her face as she stood up to leave.

"This is bull shit!" Carlton yelled as the guards started to lead Yang away from them. A few people looked towards him, but Carlton didn't care. They needed Yang. She was the closest thing they had to a lead in a very long while and they needed to keep talking until they could fully understand. Only then could they begin to get a clear idea of where Shawn might be. They needed Yang. She was the only way to find Shawn and save him.

"Oh Detectives" Yang called out from the door. "I'm actually quite offended. You never asked for my name." There it was. A key to understanding Yang's past. To understanding Yin and Yang. To understanding this whole ordeal.

"What's your name?" Juliet asked, her desperation clear in her voice.

"Shirley. Shirley Benson. Born and raised in Atlanta, Georgia. Good luck, detectives." And with that, Yang walked back to her cell with her guards.

Carlton, Juliet, Henry and Gus could do nothing but stare after the woman who had just left. They had no idea what they would find from her name, but there must have been a reason to her giving it. This was at least a lead.

Now, it was time to find out who Yang was before she became Yang.


	7. No More Benson

**Hello lovelys! I'm currently in a hotel now… slightly homeless because I'm in the middle of a move. It's odd. That's why update it took a bit to post. Not that much though, which is lovely.**

**This is an interesting chapter and I loved writing it so I hope you enjoy reading it. It was quite a difficult one to write and my fingers actually ache a bit from all this typing. Do let me know what you think of this one.**

**Please review! I love all types of reviews. The good, the bad. I just love to know your opinion of my chapters. So please review! You know you want to.**

* * *

December 26th, 2010

The two detectives, Henry and Gus made their way back to the Santa Barbara Police department. The entire ride back was in complete silence. They had a lot to take in. According to Shirley – No, Yang (she'd always be Yang to them) Shawn would become Yin for sure. They still weren't clear on so many details. They had a lead, at least there was that. They had to look up Shirley Benson from Atlanta Georgia. They weren't sure what exactly they would find and how that would help them find Shawn, but it was all they had.

As soon as they arrived to the department, Carlton ordered for a full background check on Shirley. He then called the police department in Atlanta and asked for the specifics on Shirley Benson. It didn't take long for them to get all the information they needed. It opened up on Carlton's computer and he quickly brought everyone to take a look. First, was a photo of Shirley Benson. It was unmistakably a younger version of Yang.

"She was telling the truth" Juliet noted. "Her real name _is_ Shirley Benson."

"Well, what exactly does she hope we'll find with this information?" Carlton asked and continued to look through, reading all the information out loud. "Shirley Benson. Born on the 10th of June, 1962. Daughter of Patrick and Angela Benson. Patrick Benson was a Private Investigator in Atlanta and Shirley was his secretary, often helping him out on the actual cases. She and her father worked on the…" Carlton stopped talking, staring at the screen in shock.

"No… that can't be right…" Gus said, reading the same thing Carlton was.

"What? What case were they working on?" Henry asked, stuck in the back.

"They worked the Yin case" Juliet said, confused. Carlton pulled up another page that the Atlanta Police Department sent them.

"Yin of Atlanta" Carlton read out loud. "A notorious serial killer who called out on detectives and PIs to make them solve riddles in order to save a civilian. He made his first show in Atlanta in 1981, claiming three victims a year until he disappeared in 1985, after killing… the Benson family…"

The four of them exchanged a look. Carlton pulled up Shirley's file again and continued to read out loud.

"Shirley Benson's mother died on the 14th of August, 1984. Her body was found by a running group in a public park just a couple blocks from the Benson household. She was hanging from a tree. The runner thought she had committed suicide, and so did the police, until they heard that their notorious Yin killer was behind it all. Shirley and her father died together on the 21st of February, 1985. No body was ever found."

Carlton pulled up the image of Shirley Benson again. Everyone stared at it and compared it to the Yang they all knew. The resemblance was uncanny. It was obvious that the picture of Shirley was none other than Yang herself. It had to be.

"But… that's Yang" Juliet finally broke the silence, saying what they were all thinking. "You all see it just as clearly as I do. That's Yang. She's not dead."

And suddenly, all anyone could think of was what Yang said just a couple hours ago: _"I'm as much of a victim as Shawn is!"_

"Well… they did say no body was found" Gus said. "Yang could have faked her death so that she could run away from Atlanta and be Yang somewhere else."

"She did say that Yin and Yang had been going on for generations" Henry pointed out.

Carlton stared at all of them, a new idea forming in his head. He then searched Yin and Yang killings and expanded it from just results from Santa Barbara and Atlanta to the whole of USA over a time period of fifty years. Results popped up in Ohio (1961-1967), Montana (1968-1972), Pennsylvania (1972-1976), Washington (1977-1981), Georgia (1982-1985) and finally California (1985-1990) before disappearing for twenty years. Carlton didn't even dare to see how much further back in history it went. He didn't think he could be able to handle it.

Once they looked at the states and dates that Yin and Yang were in, they could understand how no one made the connection before. The states were almost opposite ends of America, years at a time in each place. No one would think that the person responsible for the 1990 California Yin-Yang killings was so connected to the 1961 Ohio Yin and Yang killings.

The trend was the same for all states. First, they would target detectives that were particularly good at what they did. They would challenge them to find their victim before it was too late. In each state, they were lucky to have more than three people to pass the first task and find the civilian. In each state, only one person would pass the second task. That person, in each state, would suddenly appear missing and then proclaimed dead. It was the same with Shirley and Patrick Benson.

So they did learn something. If Shirley Benson was Yang, then surely her father – who just like her was declared dead without a body to prove it – was Yin. Sure, the only records anyone had on him was that he died in 1985, but at least they had something. They had a lead.

* * *

March 10th, 1984. Task 1

In Atlanta Georgia, there is a family known and loved by all their neighbours. This family is the Benson family. Angela Benson was a baker whose Double Choco-Choco Chip cookies were to die for. She loved to bake and said it was a dream come true that her job centred around the thing she loved.

Patrick Benson was a well-respected Private Investigator. He had taken the detectives exam and passed with flying colours. He could have had a job in any department if he wanted to, but his love Angela preferred to stay in her home town. So Patrick stayed with her. He still could have been a detective for the Atlanta Police Department, but when Angela was pregnant with their child, he knew he needed to have a more flexible time table for his family. He wouldn't be able to bear coming home late, missing important dates and not being able to pick up his own child. So Private Investigator it was.

Shirley Benson was a very adorable baby and a wonderful child. She never went through the angst filled teenage years and she never once claimed she hated her parents. Throughout high school, she was very much loved and well respected. She got good grades and took part in many extracurricular activities. She ended up getting a full scholarship in a college near home. She still lived at home and drove to university with her own car. When she was home, she would try and help her father with some of his cases.

She spent most of her High School years working part time with her father as his secretary. At least, that's what they told everyone. In reality, Shirley was a very smart girl, particularly talented in deductive reasoning. Sometimes Patrick needed a third person's perspective on his case files, and Shirley was the one to turn to. At university, Shirley was studying Criminology and had a life goal of becoming a detective or, at the very least, work with her father as a Private Investigator. It wasn't exactly easy in this time to be a woman who wanted to be a detective, but Shirley was determined.

Today, however, was not a day that Patrick wished to share his work details with his daughter. In fact, just the opposite. He wanted Shirley and everybody he loved as far away from this case as humanly possible.

Today, Patrick found himself called into the Police Department. It was often that the police asked for his help as a detective, and Patrick would often do what he could. There was no hard feelings between them, so why not? But, when he got there today, he found an envelope with a Yin-Yang symbol and his name on it. He knew it could mean only one thing. Mr. Yin was calling out to him.

Patrick had worked closely with many people who had lost their minds to the psycho, and he wanted nothing to do with him. But that was not the case. The woman who served his family at a restaurant just the day before was taken hostage by Yin. Patrick had to solve this or else the poor woman would die and he'd have no one to blame but himself. He was running all around town, solving the stupid riddles just to find out they weren't even getting started yet. He had been at it for four hours before he found himself back at his office for the next clue. Patrick Benson walked inside with a pack of cops behind him, only to be greeted by none other than his daughter.

"Hi, Daddy" Shirley called out from her spot behind the receptionist desk.

"Shir!" Patrick yelled out and ran up to his daughter. He pulled her into a hug, squeezing her tight before breaking apart and staring at her in shock. "How long have you been here?"

"Not long. Just got here about five… ten minutes ago…"

"Did you see anything? Did you notice anything that was off?" Shirley gave her dad an odd look.

"…No… should I have?" Patrick ignored his daughter's question.

"What are you doing here?"

"I… work here, dad… remember?"

"No, not now. Go home, take the day off. Take the week off. Just get away from here!"

"What's going on?" Just as she said that, she noticed the swarm of police officers flow in after her dad. She threw them a confused look before staring at her dad again. "Daddy?"

"Shir, please just trust me. Stay away."

"Are you working on a case?"

"Shir, don't ask me this-"

"Because if you are, you know you can tell me about it. I can help. I've helped out lots of times before, I can do it again now-"

"Shir-"

"Daddy! I think I've proven myself time and time again to you. I'm good at this and you said yourself that one day I'll make a great detective!"

"Shir-"

"Daddy, I can do this! Please, just tell me about the case. I can help-"

"Shirley Benson, this is a highly dangerous case! I want you to go home this instant and take care of your mother. I don't want to hear from you again until this case is over, do you understand?" Shirley looked like she had been slapped. Her father had never in all her life yelled at her. Never. And now, he explodes at her after all she wanted to do was help.

"But-"

"No buts!" Patrick yelled. "Go! Home!"

Shirley stared at her father, biting her lip and holding back tears. She grabbed her bag and lazily slung it around one shoulder before making her way out of the door. Of course, she didn't leave completely empty handed. Throughout the fight, Shirley had managed to get a good look at her father's files in his hands. As she was slowly walking out the door, she managed to get a very good look at all the files that the other detectives and cops were looking at and managed to get a general idea of the case her father was working. As soon as she saw the Yin-Yang symbol, she understood why her father had reacted the way he did. It was only natural. He wanted to protect her.

But Shirley wouldn't have that. She couldn't.

She was a woman who wanted to be a detective. Every opportunity she had to prove herself she knew she had to take. Every test she was given, she would ace, simply to show how smart she was. Every task she was told to do, she would excel at, just to show she's not just book smart. Every case her father couldn't solve, she would crack, just to show that she _could_ do it. And now she has the chance to crack the Yin-Yang case before it ruined her father. She had to do it. She just had to.

* * *

Patrick was held up at the police department, busy working with the police. They had been at this stupid case for seven hours straight. Riddle after riddle after riddle. They got harder and harder and the whole thing never seemed to end. But Patrick never gave up trying. He had to save the woman. For all he knew, he was so close now. So _damn_ close! To lose at this point would just be… death. He'd hate himself forever.

Suddenly, his office phone started ringing, making him and several other cops jump up in the air. Patrick sighed in frustration before picking up the phone.

"Hello?"

'Daddy?' he heard Shirley's voice on the other end. 'Daddy, please help me!'

"Shir? Where are you, what's going on?"

'I'm at the old movie theatre a couple block down the road from our house, daddy. I tried to solve the case' Shirley burst into tears on the other end. 'I'm sorry, daddy. I'm so sorry. Please help me!' Patrick's heart practically stopped beating. This was exactly why he didn't want his daughter to be involved. He didn't want her to get hurt, and now she was.

"Don't worry, baby. I'm coming for you, okay? Sit tight" and with that, Patrick hung up the phone and started to get up and run towards the door.

"Benson!" the chief of police yelled after him. "You're in the middle of a case, a _top priority_ case!"

"Shirley needs me" Patrick answered.

"A woman's life is a stake!"

"My _daughter_ is in trouble! And she needs me!" Patrick yelled at him. An awkward silence fell throughout the station. No one talked to the chief like that. Patrick didn't say anything else, not even an apology, before running out that door and climbing into his car.

He drove as quickly as possible to the old movie theatre and didn't even wait for his car to completely stop before he unbuckled his seatbelt, force his hand break on and bolt out of his car, key still in ignition. He burst through the front door of the theatre and ran the halls.

"Shirley!" Patrick called out. He made his way up the stairs, turning every corner. "SHIRLEY!" he screamed out. A door to his left opened and Patrick quickly turned towards it, eyes wide open.

"Yes, daddy?" Shirley asked from the door.

"Shirley? What the hell is going on?!"

"Come on in, I'll show you." Shirley then walked back through the door. Confused, Patrick followed her through the door and into one of the screens of the theatre. In there he found, he found the waitress that served them the night before tied up and gagged on one of the seats. Patrick ran up to her and found that she was still breathing. Unconscious, but still alive.

"What did you do?" Patrick asked quietly.

"I found her" Shirley said simply. "Back at the office, I saw all the files and noticed something from the first couple riddles. I decided to find the connection between it, and this was the only thing. I went to check it out, and I was right!"

"You found her?"

"Yes I did. You're welcome!" Patrick was still too shocked to fully understand the situation. His daughter had defeated Yin.

"Wait a minute, what about that phone call?"

"What phone call?"

"The one where you're begging for my help! you sounded terrified! I was worried sick for you!"

"Well, I knew that'd be the only way to get you away from the case. Sorry to get you all worked up." Patrick simply continued to look at his daughter in shock. "Umm… I know I'm not a detective yet, but isn't this the part where you call for back up?"

* * *

August 14th, 1984 Task 2

The Benson family were all enjoying the morning on one of their last summer days. Shirley had finished university and soon was going to start working with her father at his detective agency. It was temporary, at least that's what they both assured each other. Shirley planned on taking an exam and becoming a detective. She was determined to be one of the best in the force, especially since she was a woman. It seemed that _because_ she was a woman, she had more to prove automatically. She didn't mind, though. She liked the challenge.

On this day, however, she was just supposed to enjoy her last couple days of freedom. Shirley made her way to the breakfast table, where her mother's famous blueberry pancakes were already waiting for her. Patrick and Angela were already seated at the table, talking about anything and everything.

Ever since Shirley had cracked the Yin case, the whole Benson family and the Atlanta Police Department were keeping a close eye on this young little Shirley. She solved in three hours what so many more experienced detectives before her couldn't. How? No one really knew. All they did know was that Shirley had so much promise, so much potential. Hell, she was already pretty much guaranteed a spot on the force. The chief of police was so impressed with her work on the Yin case, he all but begged her to take the Detectives Exam just so he could have an excuse for hiring her.

"Morning, Shir" Patrick greeted his daughter as she sat down at the table. She clutched her cup of coffee and clung to it as if her life depended on.

"Someone's in a good mood, I see" Angela said.

"Exam's in a couple days" Shirley said as she took a sip of her coffee. "I've been studying pretty much all night every night." She then proceeded to chug down her whole mug of coffee.

"This isn't healthy" Angela said. "You can't stay up all night studying for this silly exam and then run on caffeine for the rest of your time."

"Mooomm!"

"No, Shirley. This isn't healthy. No more studying, young lady. You have to have just a couple days to relax."

"Now there's something I never thought I'd hear a parent say" Shirley muttered. Patrick laughed while Angela just glared.

"Aren't you going to say something, Patrick?" Angela asked.

"Me?"

"Yes you! it's your fault she's like this anyways. It's not healthy for her to do this to herself and it's not safe to be a detective."

"Mom!" Shirley protested. "This is something I really want to do. I have ever since I was a little girl and now I'm so close. I'm not giving up."

"This is your fault" Angela said, pointing at Patrick

"Awh, come on sweetie" Patrick said, mouth full of pancakes. "She's a big girl. She can make her own decisions."

"Why do you always side with her?" and with that, Angela stormed out of the room and back into the kitchen, dishes in hand and glued herself to the sink, cleaning away her troubles. Patrick and Shirley just looked at each other, before holding back their laughs badly with a smile.

Patrick's phone rang and he quickly picked it up. Just from the look on his face, Shirley knew something truly awful was happening. Patrick stood up from the table and walked out of the room, taking the call in private. That left Shirley alone at the table, staring after her father confused. When he came back, he was in an entirely different mood.

"I have to go to the station" Patrick said in a single tone. "I'll be back tomorrow. Maybe. I don't know."

"This is serious" Shirley noted.

"Stay home, you and your mother. Please don't get into any trouble-"

"Daddy-"

"Shir, _please_, I'm begging you to stay here."

"It's Yin, isn't it?" Shirley knew it was only a matter of time before he returned. They defeated Yin, after all. It was only a matter of time before Yin made his move and try to show them up.

"Shir, I know where you're going with this, and no. You're not coming with me. Not this time. I want you to stay here where I know you're safe. You and your mother."

"Daddy, I'm going to be a detective. I'm going to get used to this danger. Please, daddy!"

"No, Shirley! And that's final!"

* * *

"Ah, Shirley Benson!" the chief of police exclaimed when he saw the beloved Benson daughter walk through the precinct.

"Chief" Shirley greeted with a nod of her head.

"So glad you decided to join us, what with you solving the last Yin case. We could really use your help on this case."

Patrick groaned and shook his head, not approving of any of this. Angela stayed at home, more than happy to keep away from the newest Yin case. He wanted his daughter to be safe at home with his wife, but dammit. She had a way with words. Hell, she even convinced Angela to go. Shirley made a deal that if she got hurt on this case, she wouldn't take the Detective's Exam. Patrick didn't like this deal. Either, Shirley wins and Angela blames him. Or, Angela wins and Shirley blames him. it was a lose-lose situation for Patrick.

Yin had returned, alright. He claimed a new victim. Another waitress. Different girl, different restaurant same damn trend. Patrick merely made contact with the woman and now she was dead. How was any of it fair?

Two hours had passed since the two Bensons showed up at the station. They had no leads to work with and were close to leaving the case how they usually left their Yin cases. Unsolved. Just as they were about to make their way out, an envelope with the Yin-Yang symbol with Patrick's name arrived at the chief's desk. They all visibly tensed before, finally, Patrick picked it up. Shirley stared at her father anxiously. Her heart broke as she noticed her father's face fall into a frown. Patrick started to feel lightheaded and found himself sitting down on any chair he could find.

Shirley picked up the envelope that her father had just put down. She turned it over and stared at the picture that was just sent to them. It was her mother. It was Angela Benson, tied up and staring at the camera in horror. There was no description, no note, no condescending 'you'll never find her!' not even a little evil laugh. And somehow, that just made it worst.

Suddenly, Shirley was overcome with an overwhelming feeling of guilt. She should have stayed home. If she did, maybe her mother wouldn't have been taken. Maybe if she stayed home she could have protected her family. Maybe if she stayed home she wouldn't be the reason for her father's obvious depression at the moment. Shirley almost felt sick for the amount of guilt she had on her shoulders. She couldn't stand it. She felt like she was about to… oh… she was about to…

"Excuse me" Shirley muttered before sprinting out of the room and running towards the ladies toilet. She pushed open one of the stalls, sunk down to her knees and braced herself for the puke. She waited several minutes, but nothing came out. Finally, she decided she was fine. She rose to her feet and flushed the toilet, despite it being in the exact same condition it was in when she first walked inside. Shirley walked towards the sinks and started to wash her face. When she looked back up in the mirror, she found her face was not the only one staring at her.

She turned around to face the figure in the bathroom, a scream ready to leave her lips and warn everyone around exactly what was happening. Instead, she got a hit to a head, a world of pain and a sea of blackness overtake her.

Patrick Benson was still in the chief's office. He only just noticed how long it had been since his darling daughter had made her flee for the bathroom. Suddenly fearing the worst and wondering why the hell he hadn't tried to stop his daughter before, Patrick ran out of the door. He ran towards the girls bathroom, knowing that Shirley would have gone here.

"Shirley?!" Patrick called out. "Shirley, where are you?!" Patrick kicked open the first stall, but nothing was there. He kicked open the next stall, nothing. Finally, he kicked in the third and last stall. His hear dropped as he saw the Yin-Yang symbol plastered to the wall. There was a picture of his passed out daughter stuck to the wall just under the symbol.

And that was it. Just like that, he lost the two people that mattered most to him.

* * *

Patrick Benson was at the station still. There was a note on the back of his daughter's photo, explaining to him that a phone call would come to the station in twenty minutes. When the phone call comes, Patrick is allowed to say only one word. That one word is a name. Either Angela or Shirley. The name he gives is the name of the person he wishes to save. Yin promised to give the address of the name that Patrick gives. Sure, you can't trust a serial killer, but it was the only hope Patrick had of seeing any of his family ever again. For now, he had a very serious decision to make.

Now, of course, Patrick would try to save both of them. But that's hard to do when you don't even know where to _start_ looking. And now he's got a time limit too. That doesn't exactly make things easier.

Angela. Oh, his dear Angela. He loved her with all his heart. He often though he couldn't go a day without her. He stuck by that, really. Twenty five years of marriage, and not a day went by when he didn't love her with all his heart. They fought, yes, but what couple didn't. He loved his Angela. He loved everything about her. Her looks, her personality, her heart, her quirks, her habits… everything. whenever he thought of his lovely Angela, he finds he wouldn't change a single thing about her. Not one tiny thing.

Shirley. Oh, his baby Shirley. She was his little ray of sunshine. He was one of the happiest things to ever happen to his life. There wasn't a day that passed by where Patrick wasn't proud of his daughter. She was a studious woman, an ambitious woman and she was so, so determined in everything. Whatever she set her mind to, she could do. Nothing could get in her way. And she had such a promising future. Such a wonderful, bright future ahead of her. And now, simply because her father is Patrick Benson, she could have that wonderful future taken away from her. Patrick couldn't allow that. He just couldn't.

So when the phone call finally came, and the whole department was at a lost as to where either of his girls were, Patrick knew the name he'd give. He'd at least get to save one of them. And for now, he had to focus on that.

* * *

Shirley Benson woke up tied up to a chair. She tried to take in her surroundings, but found her splitting headache made that and any other rational thinking almost impossible to do. All she could figure out was that she was tied up and gagged. There was no hope in calling for help. All she could do was pray to God and hope with all her heart that her father was smart enough to notice her absence. Surely her father knew she was taken. Surely he would stop at nothing to find her.

Soon enough, the room started to fill with smoke. It didn't take long for her to realise that the building was on fire and Shirley found that she couldn't breathe. She tried as hard as she could just to get a little tiny bit of air into her lungs, but every attempt was a horrible failure. All she wanted to do was breathe. She promised herself, she promised God, she promised her mother that if she ever did get to breathe again, she would cherish every single breath. She would learn to love all the tiny little things. She would be oh so thankful for her life. All she wanted at this moment was air. Just a tiny bit of air.

Her vision started to get blurry and tears started to fall from her eyes. She was dying. Shirley Benson, aged 22, was dying. Her life didn't flash before her eyes as they usually did in the future. Nono. Instead, her future flashed before her eyes. All the things that could be. She had such a bright future. She would have taken the Detective's Exam. She would have passed with flying colours. She would have become the first female Head Detective. She would have become the Youngest Chief in Atlanta. Her whole world was going to make so much sense. And all she had to do was survive.

Soon, she started to lose consciousness, and everything went black.

When she opened her eyes again, she was on a stretcher outside her house. She was being wheeled into an ambulance, an oxygen mask strapped around her mouth. Her father was right by her side, holding her hand, tears streaming down his face. Shirley willed herself to squeeze his hand, just to give some indication that she was alright. Patrick felt the squeeze and focused his gaze on his daughter's face. Shirley attempted a smile, but failed miserably. Patrick smiled big enough for the two of them. He at least saved one of them. He had to focus on that or else it'd be the death of him.

He had given his daughter's name to Yin. He had begged to be able to save Shirley. And he did just that. He managed to save his only child. He managed to save one of them.

And even though he had the whole Atlanta Police Department out looking for his wife, her body was found the next day, hanging from a tree in a public park.

* * *

January 10th, 1985 Task 3

What was left of the Benson family was sitting at the breakfast table. Shirley never took her detective's exam. She wanted nothing to do with being a detective. Not after her smugness had made her lose her mother. Patrick kept his agency open and Shirley still worked there as a receptionist. But that was all she did. She couldn't stand doing anything more than that anymore. She had enough. She should have listened to her mother.

It was a normal day today. They ate their breakfast in almost complete silence before making their way to the car. Patrick had tried on many occasions to talk to Shirley about what had happened. He really wanted to talk to her. At this point, the talk could only be beneficial. But Shirley wouldn't hear of it. She refused to go back into being a detective, no matter how good she may have been. She missed her mother. She wanted her mother by her side again. She needed her.

Patrick missed his Angela every day. He stood by his decision, and he had to bear that in mind. He had to choose between his wife and his daughter. It's never an easy choice, and it wasn't for him at the time either. He had twenty minutes to decide, but he still stood by his choice. He knew that if he saved Angela, she would have never forgiven him. and he never would have forgiven himself. He often wished Angela was still there, that he could still hear her voice, that he could, at the very least, say goodbye. But he tried not to dwell on it too much. If he did, it would be the end of him. he had to focus on the positive. At this moment, Shirley was alive. She still had a future.

They both sat in their office, trying hard to keep themselves busy with work. Patrick was working on a specific case and Shirley was filing paperwork. She walked into her father's office to hand him a letter. Just walking behind him, she caught a glimpse of his file. She saw it instantly. She smiled at her father and simply said, "the butler did it" before leaving.

Patrick looked over the butler's alibi. He then found a crucial hole in it and discovered that the butler had means, motive and opportunity. He was their guy. Patrick stared after his daughter with a smile on his face. She was back.

"Hey, Shir" Patrick called out, walking out of his office and into the reception.

"Yes, Daddy?"

"I was going to get some coffee. Want to come with? I want to talk about this case." Shirley smiled at her father. While she didn't want to go back to the detective game out of shame… she did miss the thrill of it.

"Sure thing." And with that, they both made their way to Patrick's car.

Once inside, they both started to feel lightheaded. They stared at each other with confused looks before trying to force their way back out of the car. To both of their extreme shock, they found that the doors simply wouldn't budge. They weren't allowed to leave the car. They both were overwhelmed with the sudden difficulty to breathe. Shirley automatically thought back to her night in the burning building. She thought back to her desperation to get a simple lung full of air. And now it was happening again.

It didn't take long for both of them to black out.

* * *

"Goooooood _morning _BENSONS!" a voice boomed out. Shirley and Patrick both forced their eyes to open. They both found that they were tied to a chair, gagged and afraid. Patrick blinked several times until he was able to see a figure standing in front of him. He could only assume that was Yin. Patrick tried to speak up, to yell at the bastard who had killed so many people in the past. The bastard who had murdered his wife and tried to kill his daughter. But nothing would come out.

"Now, now, Mr. Benson. There's no need to try and talk. It's rather pointless. You're tied up pretty good" the man said with a smile. "So, Bensons, allow me to introduce myself. I am Yin. Yes, yes. get your torches and pickforks, I'm the one who killed Angela. I hung her from a tree, so sue me. Yes, yes. I'm the one who set Shirley's building on fire. But you saved her. And that's all that counts.

"I'm just going to give you a brief summary of what's going to happen here. You two are going to become the new Yin. It's all rather exciting, isn't it? In all of history, Yin has never had a partner. It's always just been Mr. Yin. But let's face it, you two are a duo act. You can't have one without the other.

"I mean, Shirley makes up for Patrick slight lack of intelligence while Patrick makes up for Shirley's lack of moving on. You're a perfect match. You're opposites, you complement each other. This pairing was simply meant to happen.

"Yin is chaos, Yang is order. Now, normally this means that Yin is the serial killer and Yang is the police. That's how it's been for years. But _now_… now it's time to break tradition! Now it's time to make our own paths. Yin can now be the sociopathic killer in charge of calling the cops and Yang can be the ordered partner who gives Yin reality checks. Surely, this pairing would make you simply unbeatable. It's perfect! I'm just… a genius, if I do say so myself.

"Well, of course, first you two have to pass the third and final test. Oh, but I'm sure you'll do just fine. You like test, don't you Shirley? Tell you what, Bensons. I'll see you in just a little while. I'll tell you how you did on your tests then.

"Ta-Ta for now my little Yins!"

* * *

February, 21st, 1985

It had been one month and six days since the Bensons had passed the third test. They were pushed to the edge of their limits. They feel into the deep end. They completely lost their minds. Most importantly, they saw The Truth.

When they saw it, there was no more 'would be detective'. There was no more 'first female Head Detective'. There was no more 'youngest Chief of Police'. There was no more Angela Benson, who died to save them. There was no more Patrick. There was no more Shirley. There was no more _Benson_.

All that was there – all that was _left_ – was Yin and Yang and The Truth.

As soon as Shirley and Patrick woke up, they found themselves unbound. They found their head filled with knowledge they did not previously have. They found themselves with new identities. They found the old Yin staring at them with hope. Patrick and Shirley killed him immediately. His body was found just under a month ago. That was when the search for the Bensons officially began. It took them long enough.

Today, however, the Bensons were heading to a new place. They had to uphold The Truth. They had a new town to run. They had a new era to control. They had new victims, new rules and new hell to raise. They decided today of all days to head out to their new destination. It only made sense. Today was the day the old them were declared dead. It only made sense to start their new lives when their old ones ended. And so, the two of them headed off towards their next kill zone.

Yin and Yang headed to Santa Barbara, California.

* * *

**Just a little note: Shir would be pronounced Cher. It's just a nickname for Shirley (I have a friend named Shirley and we all call her Shir/Cher).**

**Please Review!**


	8. Two Steps Forward, Three Steps Back

**Hello lovelys! So um… this chapter ends in a cliff-hanger so awful I actually felt guilty leaving you guys hanging like that. So, I decided not to post this until the next chapter was done as well. Hence the late update. The next chapter will be posted in three or four days and please before you decide to drop this FanFic because of the cliff-hanger or something along those lines, please just stick around at least for the next chapter.**

**Also, again, because I feel guilty, just let me know via PM or review if you want a sneak preview into the next chapter after this cliffy. It will be a small preview, but one that should keep you satisfied until the next update (I think).**

**Anyways, yes. please review. I love all types of reviews. The good, the bad, the angry reviews that question how I could be so evil. So please review! You know you want to.**

* * *

December 27th, 2010

Today was a new day. The detectives at the station found themselves, for the first time since this whole ordeal started, with a lead. It had been so long since they had something to go on that they had forgotten how everything just seemed to fall into place as soon as you knew what you were doing. They missed this feeling and they wished they could hang on to it for the rest of the case. They had to. They needed to find their psychic.

After they had done more investigation on Shirley and the whole Benson family, they knew what they had to do. Carlton and Juliet visited Dwayne once again for another favour. They gave him a picture of Patrick Benson and asked him to make it appear as if the man in the picture had aged twenty five years. That included wrinkles, slight balding, aging marks. The whole deal. After the new picture was made, Carlton released it to the press, putting an APB out on the man. Instead of putting down the name 'Patrick Benson', Juliet suggested only putting down the name 'Yin'. If they had used his real name, they would be the laughing stock of all the police. Patrick Benson was dead. You don't put an APB on a dead man.

Once the photo was released, the detectives found that it was late at night. They wanted to continue working on the case, but the chief practically forced them out of her station, insisting that they were of no use to the station if they were half asleep. And, of course, she was right. So they had decided to call it a day and head home.

Today was a new day. Carlton and Juliet met Henry and Gus at the station as they had done for days now. Now that they at least had a suspect, they were able to think more clearly. They had decided that the next thing they should do is do one last sweep of the crime scene. The crime scene being the college dorm where Shawn was taken. They personally had only done one sweep of the place. Forensics checked every inch of the place, but it was always good to get detectives to take another look around, make sure they didn't miss anything.

They all arrived at the dorm at around mid-day. They tried very hard not to think of Shawn walking through the doors, pineapple smoothie in hand, complaining about not getting the chance to have a proper breakfast (and then Gus would comment, saying it was more like lunch time now. Then, Shawn would say the all too familiar 'I heard it both ways' and then the two would argue and tsk at each other… Yeah, not thinking about it didn't really work).

Shawn was always on their mind. Throughout the case, whenever they reached a dead end, all they could think of was 'Shawn would have known better'. Whenever they did something right in the case, all they could think of was 'Shawn would have reached this point in less time than it took me'. They really could never win in that situation. Whatever they did, they couldn't help but think that Shawn would have done it better. If he was just _here_.

"Alright" Carlton said, clearing his throat and begging the guilty thoughts of Shawn to go away. He was back at the scene of the crime, and all that went through his head was 'Spencer, stay put!'. That stupid order got their psychic kidnapped. "I suggest that we spread out and look for anything forensics might have missed. There can't be much evidence left behind. This is Yin we're talking about, after all. the sooner we finish up here the sooner we can head back to the station and do some real police work."

"I'll take Alison Cowley's room" Juliet said and started to walk up without any sign of agreement from Carlton.

"I'll take the upstairs, around the room" Gus said, and quickly walked up the stairs. Carlton and Henry stared at each other awkwardly.

"I guess that just leaves us two to check it out down here" Carlton said quietly.

"Oh, good" Henry said sarcastically. "I'll be sure to keep a good lookout then. God knows you won't." Carlton shook his head, finally having enough of being blamed for Shawn's disappearance.

"Look, Henry, with all due respect, it wasn't _all _my fault" Carlton said. Henry stopped walking and turned to face Carlton.

"Excuse me?"

"It's not entirely my fault. I told Spencer to stay put, yes. But when have I ever _not_ told him to do so? And when has he ever listened to me?"

"Carlton-"

"No, listen to me, Henry. Believe me, I am sorry Shawn was taken, but it wasn't my fault-"

"You had to protect him! He was the target of one of the most ruthless serial killers in Santa Barbara- no, not just Santa Barbara any more. One of the most ruthless serial killers in _America_! You were supposed to protect him! But you didn't. All you did was leave Shawn alone in a huge dorm building with too many exits to count on one hand."

Carlton would have felt like he was just punched in the face by Henry, but instead he was overcome with an epiphany.

"Wait a minute… say that again…"

"What?"

"The thing you said about the exits!"

"What? There are too many exits to count on one hand?"

"Yes… exactly…" Carlton looked around the bottom floor. He walked towards where the Yin-Yang symbol was found. "We all assumed Yin came in and left with Spencer using the front doors… oh!"

"What? What are you talking about?"

"Spencer knew! Oh my God, Spencer knew! He was about to have a vision! Upstairs, before he was taken, Spencer was about to have a vision. I'll bet everything I have that his vision was going to be a description of a man that could have been Yin. I'll bet he was going to say that man has been following him around all day. Spencer knew! God!"

"Carlton?" Juliet called, walking down the stairs with Gus only a few steps behind her. They had both heard the argument Henry and Carlton were having and they both heard Carlton come to realisation.

"What if Spencer didn't leave from the front door?" Carlton asked. "What if Spencer was heading out the front door to catch up with us, to find the gunshots – as we all know he would have done."

"He actually was" Gus confirmed. "We both were. Shawn was right behind me. Or, I thought he was."

"Exactly!" Carlton yelled out. He looked at everyone else's face to see they hadn't quite caught up with him yet. "Spencer was about to have a vision. Probably about a man following him. Why would he bring up the man following him unless he saw him at the dorm?"

"Okay, he was being followed" Henry said. "How does that keep him from getting to you guys when you were only just outside?"

"Here's what I think happened. Spencer was following Guster outside to join us. He's about to leave the building when he sees the man that was following him right in front of him. Shawn's only option at this point is to run. We're out of reach, Gus is gone and the building is empty. The man is blocking the front door. So… what if Shawn took one of the many exits this building has to offer and took another route to try and lose his follower?"

"That would explain how nobody noticed anything" Juliet said. "it was odd to think that someone could kidnap someone in a place full of cops."

"Because he wasn't kidnapped here!" Carlton said. "He ran out of the building, took different routes, and was taken by Yin somewhere else!"

"Meaning we can tear this place apart brick by brick but we're never going to find anything that will bring us closer to Shawn, because he wasn't taken here!" Juliet finally caught on.

"This isn't the scene of the crime!" Carlton exclaimed. "It's just staged to look like it!"

"So if we find out where Shawn was really kidnapped from" Gus reasoned. "We should be able to get a better idea of who took him and where?"

"I don't think we'll be lucky enough to find out where" Henry said. "But it would definitely be a bump in Yin's plan. He must've have made some mistake in the crime scene that could give us some clues."

"We need to find out which exit Spencer used" Carlton said.

The four of them started to inspect each exit the dorm building had to offer. Exit number one, the main entrance, was already ruled out. There was no way Shawn left using that door. Exit number two, the main back doors. They found it locked from the outside, and by the looks of the rust and dirt, it hadn't been opened in years. Exit number three, a side door. It was possible Shawn left through this door. There was no evidence to say he didn't, but no evidence to say he did. Exit number four, however, that was when things started to make sense. The door was obviously originally locked in place. However, the door looked like it had been forced open. A dent in the wall behind the door showed that the doors were swung open with extreme force. As if someone was desperate to get the hell out of there.

They decided to go with exit number four. The walked out the doors and started to walk along the obvious path. Henry knew his son and the training he had gone through. He knew that Shawn would have listened to him, just as he had when he was shot. Shawn would have run in zig zags. He would have left signs for people who were looking for him. Henry knew it. Shawn could have gotten very far, and they all knew it. He had a certain skill to avoid trouble like that. He was good at running away and talking his way out of a situation. And it showed in this case.

It took about twenty minutes of Henry-paced strides before they found the first sign from Shawn. Henry stopped dead in his tracks. Juliet was only a couple steps behind him, finding the light jog a good way to follow the trail. It was Carlton and Gus who were lagging behind, out of breath and in desperate need for a lie down.

Henry and Juliet knelt to the ground to inspect what they had found. When Carlton and Gus finally joined, they did the same thing. They couldn't believe how obvious this clue was. Shawn had dropped his iPhone case. His green case, with the obnoxious 'Psych' written across it. It took everyone a while before they realised what it could mean. They all slowly turned towards Gus.

"Gus…" Juliet said. "Throughout this whole ordeal… have you by any chance ever stopped by the Psych office?" Gus' eyes widened in realisation.

"No… no I have not…"

It took everyone a second to react. Simultaneously, they all stood up and started running in a full sprint towards the Psych office.

* * *

When they finally arrived at the Psych office, it was nearly 3 in the afternoon. They had spent a long time at the dorm and a long time getting to the office. They needed to speed things along. At this point, every minute counts. The Psych office from the outside looked completely normal. It was the same door, same glass, same windows and same building. The only thing that was out of place were the blinds. They hardly ever closed the blinds. Gus pulled out his keys, and after fumbling with them for about a minute, he managed to open the doors. And when he did, they all had to take a moment to brace themselves from the mess inside.

Everything was on the floor. Files, chairs, even a desk. If anyone were to look up 'signs of a struggle' in a police dictionary, they would find a picture of this very scene in front of them. Whatever Yin had tried to do, Shawn certainly put up a fight. Obviously, though, Shawn lost. He was taken by Yin. At least now the SBPD knew where his kidnapping actually took place. Now they could get some answers.

"I don't suppose you have video surveillance, do you Guster?" Carlton asked. Gus thought for a long moment and realised yes, they did. Well, Shawn did. And it wasn't really video surveillance. It was a camera he placed by the door of the office that recorded whenever it detected movement. Shawn put it in so that he could see who walked in and he could act psychic and call out their name without turning around. He never actually used it. He put it up, tried using it once on Gus, and then completely forgot about its existence.

"Yes, I do" Gus answered and made his way through the mess to find Shawn's laptop.

"Hey, Guster!" Carlton yelled. "Don't touch anything, this is a crime scene! You'll get your fingerprints everywhere!"

"It's my office, Lassie" Gus argued. "My fingerprints already _are_ everywhere!" Carlton thought about it for a second before nodding his head once.

"As you were."

Gus pulled out Shawn's laptop underneath all the mess. He opened it up and looked for the camera footage Shawn had set up. Now, Gus could only pray that it still worked. To his extreme delight, he found it did. He found very quickly two videos dating back to the 22nd of December. He quickly loaded it up.

"Why exactly does Shawn have a video surveillance of his front door?" Juliet asked.

"He… um… he likes to have a video archive of every client he has. I'm not sure if it's for scrap booking reasons or security, but knowing Shawn, it's probably the scrap book" Gus said, and with that he pushed play on the first video of that day.

The four of them watched the screen intently. On it they saw Shawn burst through the doors. He quickly slammed the doors shut behind him and tried locking the doors. He then walked around the office creating a mess. Carlton, Juliet and Gus were confused by this, but Henry just stared at his son proudly. Shawn had created the ideal 'signs of a struggle' crime scene, specifically to attract the attention of any cop who came by the office.

Shawn was about to run out the back exit when the front door was kicked in. And there it was, in that brief second, there was a perfect image of Yin. A perfect image of their killer. They finally got him on camera.

Shawn made a break for the back exit, but Yin had tackled him down. Shawn had punched and kicked and tried just about anything to get out of the death hold that Yin was keeping him in. Finally, Shawn kicked Yin in the face as hard as he could before he ran for the back exit once again. He turned the door knob, only to find that the door was locked. Shawn turned back around and was about to make a run for the front door again. Yin, however, had other plans. While Shawn was trying to make his risky escape, Yin had gotten to his feet again and grabbed one of the lamps lying around. When Shawn had turned around to sprint towards the front door, Yin brought the lamp down at an alarming rate onto Shawn's head, knocking him out cold.

Yin looked around the office before shutting all the blinds. He looked in various hiding spots for any sign of a video camera, but found none. Obviously, he had missed a spot. Yin then tied Shawn up and walked out the front door. The second video recorded that day started playing as soon as the first one finished. The clock on the bottom left corner showed that not even fifteen minutes had passed. In the second video, all that could be seen was Yin picking Shawn up and dragging him out the door. The detectives quickly figured out that in that tiny gap, Yin had brought his car over. And that was how it happened. That was how Yin took Shawn.

The four of them looked around the office. They had certainly found the scene of the crime. They certainly found a lot of clues to go on. So, as quickly as they could, they tried to gather it all up. Gus and Henry worked on the video, taking a snapshot of that second where Yin was clearly visible. They printed the snap shot in high quality and then burned the video onto a disc. Carlton and Juliet, on the other hand, kneeled down by the broken lamp near the back exit. Juliet pulled out a plastic bag she had brought with her (originally taken as a precaution for the dorm crime scene, in case they found anything there). They then took rough pictures of the crime scene with their phones. Of course, it was just so they definitely had records of the scene. They'd need forensics to go over it in more detail.

Once all that was done, the four of them walked out of the Psych office and headed back towards the dorm building and the college. They needed to get back in their cars and they needed to get to the Police Department. They had a lot to report.

* * *

The four of them arrived at the Police Department at half past four. They quickly made their way to the chief's office, not even bothering to check up with any other officer or knock on her door. They walked through, figuring that the information they had to offer would make her overlook their rudeness of just walking right through her doors. Surely she'd be quick to forgive them.

What shocked them, though, was that she didn't even appear to be angry when they walked through. She just looked surprised and upset. She didn't say a word to them and let them come in and take a seat in front of her. They didn't know this, but the chief had asked for all four of them to come in a half hour ago. Of course, they didn't get the message at the time. So it became an awkward staring battle between the chief and the others. The chief slowly lowered herself into her seat, still not saying a word.

"So, um… chief?" Carlton said, at last breaking the silence. "We went to do a final sweep on the dorm building where Alison Cowley was found dead, and we got new evidence and new leads as to Yin's identity and maybe even to where Shawn is." Carlton expected that at the very least his vague summary of the day's events would be enough to get the chief to talk. But no. Nothing.

"Chief?" Juliet tried. "We found that Shawn wasn't actually taken from the college. He was actually taken from the Psych office. We have video footage of him being taken and we have a good shot of the person who took him. We also think we might be able to lift some prints from some lamp pieces that Yin held." Even after Juliet's more in depth explanation, the chief said nothing.

"Karen?" Henry tried. The chief stared at Henry and they all noticed the sad look in her eyes just turn into an apologetic depression. With that one look, Carlton had a hunch as to what was making her so depressed. He quickly stood up and walked towards the windows of the chief's office. He looked around at all the other officers in the precinct. Many were more depressed than Carlton had ever seen them. Buzz of all people was sitting at Juliet's desk, crying.

"Oh, Henry" Chief Vick sighed. "I'm so sorry." She handed him an envelope. It was smaller than the usual ones they got, but it still had that usual Yin-Yang symbol on the front of it.

Henry's heart was beating at an alarming rate. He wanted to read whatever was inside. He wanted to see what had gotten everyone so down. But at the same time, he'd rather not know. He'd rather live in his own special world where there was still hope. He didn't want to see. But, despite what he wanted, Henry reached into the envelope and pulled out the one card in there. He was almost glad to realise he was holding the photo backwards. He still didn't see the picture, only the writing on the back of the photo. Letters from newspaper articles were cut up to form two words. Two words only.

'He failed'.

With a shaking hand and tears that were already threatening to fall, Henry turned the photo around. And there it was. It was impossible to ignore now. Henry let his heart break. He let the tears pour out of his eyes. He let the agonising pain take over him. He let the defeated cry escape his lips. He let himself fall apart.

For on that piece of card was a picture of his only son. Lying on the ground. Dead.


	9. More Dangerous Than The Murder Weapon

**Hello lovelys! Guests who wanted a preview in the last chapter, I couldn't send it to you because you're not logged in and I can't send messages to you. Sorry. And as for others, if you didn't ask for a preview, I didn't send one, in case you didn't want spoilers. **

**Lots of questions are answered in this chapter, so do enjoy.**

**So how'd you all like my cliffie last chapter? I'm sure you all loved it, and thanks for all the reviews, guys. It all means a lot to me. The reviews, the favorites, the follows and even the lurkers (though I'd love to hear your opinions too). It all means a lot, so thanks. **

**Please review! I love all types of review! The good and the criticisms. I'd love to know what you think of this so far and I love to hear all of your opinions, so please review. It means a lot to me.**

* * *

December 27th, 2010

There was never a more depressing day in all of Santa Barbara Police Department history. Their beloved psychic was dead. As far as anyone knew, the incredibly talented psychic who would always brighten their day, was dead. Yet again, the detectives and the officers of the department felt that they had failed Shawn. They knew that if Shawn was the one investigating, he would have found the person responsible. He would have caught the son of a bitch who threatened one of their own. Shawn would do it because he could. The others wanted to save Shawn, wanted to catch Yin, wanted to save the day, but clearly, they did not.

Carlton sat at his desk, his head down and not even caring about trying to look professional. Sure, Shawn was a pain in the ass, but he was a damn good psychic and he would be so entirely missed. Carlton just wished that maybe he wasn't always such a jerk to him. Yes, their competitiveness and aggression towards each other is what their friendship is based on, but still. Carlton did care for Shawn. He cared if he was in danger or if he did a good job on a case because, while he would never admit it to anyone, Shawn was his friend. A damn good one, too. And he let his friend down.

Juliet and Gus sat next to each other. Juliet was sobbing as she was gathering her things. The chief had ordered her to go home. She couldn't continue working in this state, and she didn't want to. She just wanted to curl up in a ball and fall out of existence. She loved Shawn, and she never got the chance to shout it out as loud as she damn well pleased, and she never will get the chance.

Gus was with Juliet for several reasons. Firstly, he knew he couldn't leave Juliet alone at this point. She was on a destructive path, and while Gus was heading down a very similar path, he needed to be there for her. That way, she'd also be there for him. They could help each other along the road. The second reason was to not look quite so miserable if he stood next to Juliet. Gus was miserable, he was sobbing, but he knew that if Shawn were here he would just ask 'Dude, are you seriously crying right now? Come on, Gus! Get yourself together!' (To which Gus would reply, 'I'm a sympathetic crier, Shawn. Leave me alone'). Of course, Shawn wasn't here.

Henry was in the chief's office. No one ever saw Henry like this. He wouldn't allow anyone to see him this way, and if anyone ever did see Henry in this state, they never lived to tell the tale. But now, he was out in the open, not giving a single shit if people stared at him. He lost his only son. He lost the last thing that ever mattered to him. How the hell was he supposed to recover from this? What on Earth was he supposed to do now?

* * *

December 28th, 2010

Everybody returned to the station with a new type of vengeance. Yes, Shawn was gone. Yes, most of the department blamed themselves. Yes, the entire department felt that they had let Shawn down. But did that mean they had to stop? No! They had to keep fighting. They had to find that bastard Yin and give him what he deserved. They had to catch Yin. For Shawn.

The entire police department felt that they had let down their psychic time and time again. In his on moment of need, they let him down again. So now they had to make it up to him. Now they had to get their revenge. They'll find Yin, and if he doesn't come willingly to be arrested and trialled for murder upon murder upon murder, Carlton Lassiter will not hesitate to shoot him dead.

At the station, Carlton and Juliet had already taken a snap shot of the video surveillance in which Yin was most clearly seen. They've posted that all over the news, telling everyone that if they see them to call the police. After they had sorted that out, they both prepared to go to the one place they knew they could get more answers from. The one person who knew everything there was to know about Yin, and as an added bonus, was also crazy about Shawn. That person was Yang.

She helped them before, she was so willing to answer all of their questions. Surely, this time, she'd be even more willing to help. Especially knowing that Shawn was dead. They all assumed she'd want her revenge as well. Maybe this time she could lead them directly to Yin. Maybe this time the police department wouldn't feel like they had let Shawn down, once again. Maybe.

Henry and Gus walked into the station together. After having spent the day with Juliet, Gus decided to check up on Henry and make sure he was okay too. They ended up drinking one too many beers at Henry's house before passing out on the couch. They both woke up and almost immediately decided that they needed to find the person responsible for Shawn's death. They needed to find him and they needed to bring him to justice. Or to Jesus. Either one worked well for them.

Just as they were walking in, they noticed Carlton and Juliet walking towards the exit. As soon as the two detectives were near Henry and Gus, they turned around and followed them out the station.

"Henry, Guster" Carlton greeted, still walking towards the exit.

"Detectives" Gus greeted.

"Juliet" Henry greeted, and left it at that. Carlton heavily sighed, understanding that he wasn't forgiven. In fact, if anything, Henry hated him more.

"Listen, guys" Carlton said as they left the precinct and started to make their way to his car. "I know you two want to be involved in catching Yin, but you can't be on the case. Something about emotional attachment. I'm sorry."

"Lassie, we're going to be on this case. And that's final" Gus said.

"Gus" Juliet said softly. "I know you want to find him, but we're worried about what you'll do when we do find Yin. We can't have him getting off because we didn't go by the book and we can't have either of you going away for murder. I'm sorry

"Juliet, I understand you're a good detective" Henry said, starting to get annoyed. "I understand you like to play by the rules, I understand you want to catch Yin, and I understand you think that the most dangerous part of being a detective isn't the guns and bad guys, it's the emotional attachment. What I don't understand is how you can be so hypocritical at this point! You were _dating_ Shawn, for God's sake! You're as emotionally attached to this case as we are, if not more. So you of all people have no right to lecture us about letting out emotions get in the way of the case, or that our emotional attachment will ruin the case. Hearing it from Carlton, I can bear, but from _you_…"

They all stopped walking and stared back and forth between Juliet and Henry. It wasn't so much that he outed Juliet and Shawn as a couple that got to them. It was the fact that he said 'you _were_ dating Shawn'. It hit them all once again that Shawn was now dead. A wave of depression and guilt passed over the four of them before they recovered again.

"Look" Gus said, recovering from the moment. "you can't keep us away from this case. You tried before, and you failed."

"Guys-" Carlton tried.

"Look, Carlton" Henry said. "Nothing is going to stop me at this point. I am finding the man that killed my son. When I do, I'm not entirely sure what I'll do. One thing's for sure, I am finding that son of a bitch, and if you, or Juliet or any other detective tries to get in my way, you will be very, _very_ sorry. That's a promise, do you understand?" Juliet and Gus stared at Henry. He had a murderous glare on his face that no one ever wanted to see again, let alone be the recipient of said glare. But Carlton held his ground.

"Henry" Carlton said calmly. "I'd like to tell you to help us, to tell you to find Yin and do this for Shawn. I'd _like_ to tell you to come with us to question Yang. I'd _like_ for you to join us, because you really are a great help. But I can't. You're emotionally attached and I can't ask of these things from you."

"Carlton-" Henry started to complain.

"I'd _like_ to" Carlton said, cutting him off, "but I can't." Henry finally caught on and nodded his head.

"Fine." Carlton nodded and he and Juliet walked towards their car. Gus stared at Henry in shock, wondering how he could let the detectives walk away like that.

"Mr. Spencer..." Henry didn't wait for the rest of that. As soon as the car was out of the parking space, Henry made his way to his car. Gus had no choice but to follow right after him "Where are we going?" Gus asked.

"Didn't you hear Carlton? We're going to question Yang."

* * *

The two cars arrived at the Psychiatric Prison almost at the exact same time. They parked near each other and got out at the same time. Carlton had a smile on his face, glad that Henry had caught on to what he was saying. They gave each other a little nod, acknowledging that this was happening and this was what they intended to happen. Carlton made a quick remark about how Henry and Gus should have stayed at the station (just for show, of course) before the four of them walked in.

They asked one of the attendants for Yang. When they were about to protest, Carlton and Juliet both pulled out their badge while Henry and Gus just glared. It didn't take long after that for the attendants to lead them to the same visiting room and the same table. Another minute or two passed by before Yang herself was escorted towards them. They handcuffed her to the table and then moved to the edges of the room.

"Ah, back already" Yang said. "Couldn't bear to be apart from me, huh? That's fine. I'll never say no to visitors."

"Yang, we need to ask you some questions" Carlton said.

"I assumed so. You never come here unless you want to ask questions. So fire away. How can I help you find Shawn?" an awkward silence spread across the four of them.

"Just Yin, actually" Carlton said. "We just need to find Yin now." Yang blinked several times to many, her face frozen in panic.

"Why? Why not Shawn? Why don't you need to find Shawn anymore?"

"He's dead" Carlton said, his voice only barely above a whisper. Juliet and Gus both looked down, trying to fight the tears. As for Henry, who was still grieving and far too depressed already to care about what other people thought of him, continued to stare at Yang, even when he started to feel a tear roll down his cheek. They couldn't even hear those two words without having some kind of reaction. It was too soon.

Yang stared at the four of them, her usual smile starting to fade away. Her eyes were wild and panicked. She couldn't believe Shawn was dead. She simply refused to believe it. If Shawn was dead, then she is ruined. She started to breathe heavily, her heart rate rising and even some tears threatening to pour out of her eyes like a giant waterfall.

"So… you found Shawn, then?" Yang asked. "You found him dead?"

"No" Carlton said. "We still haven't found his body."

"Then… how do you know-"

"He sent me this" Henry said, pulling out the envelope and handing it to Yang. She looked at the envelope, recognising the symbol she had place on many others just like it. She reached into it and pulled out the card. As soon as she saw the photo, she started to laugh. She flipped it over and read the two words on the back and just continued to laugh. She threw the photo down on the table, almost crying from laughing so hard. The four people in front of her were enraged. How could this woman – the woman who claimed to care and worry about Shawn just as much as they did – laugh at Shawn's dead body?!

"I don't think it's quite so funny" Juliet said, unable to hide her rage.

"Yes it is!" Yang cried out between laughs. "You really got me there. I really thought he was dead. Oooohh…" Yang wiped away the tears from laughter, a smile still plastered onto her face. "You really had me going" she said again. "Don't scare me like that again!" and then Yang let out another little chuckle.

"I don't… I don't understand" Gus said.

"He's not _dead_!" Yang said happily. "My God, you really think he is dead, don't you?" they all just stared at her, their answer obvious. "He's not! Do you really believe everything you read? Photos can be deceiving."

"He's not dead?" Henry asked.

"Did you find his body?"

"No…"

"Then no! He's not dead!"

"But…"

"Just because someone says he's dead, doesn't mean he is! Until you see his physical dead body in front of you, until you hold on to your dead boy, bury him and cry over his body, he's not dead! When his dead body is in your arms, _then_ you can pronounce him dead. _Then_ you can cry over him. I mean, hell. Shirley Benson was declared dead in 1985. It's now 2010, and tell me, do I look dead to you?"

"Well…"

"No! I don't!" Yang flipped over the card and took another look at the two words on the back. "Look at this message too. 'He failed'" Yang put on a low, deep voice to imitate a man for the message. "Do you notice how extremely _vague_ that is? 'He failed'. What did he fail? It could be anything. He could have failed himself, the department, his moral code, his standards… _anything_!" There was silence between the four people in front of her.

"Right now, you are giving me hope." Henry said in a low voice. "That is possibly the most dangerous thing you could give a father at a time like this. Are you positive?" Yang looked at him dead in the eye.

"I'm positive." Yang said with a nod of her head. "Why would I lie? Now of all times? I want Shawn to survive this whole ordeal just as much as you do." Juliet narrowed her eyes at Yang.

"Why?" Juliet asked. They all looked at her. "What?" she asked them all. "It's a reasonable question. _Why_ do you want Shawn to survive this so badly? Why do you care so much about him?" the rest of them turned back to Yang, who had a sad smile on her face.

"Because he saved me" Yang said softly. They all stared at her in confusion. When could Shawn have saved her?

"What?" Carlton asked.

"I lost everything. I lost my family, my friends, my future… everything. All I had left was The Truth that I saw when I became Yang. So I clung to it like a life line. And then I met Shawn and he gave me something to fight for. Something to really, _really_ fight for. In 1990, He was biking down the street and he just looked so… so _happy_. He walked by my house every day after school. And every day, without fail, he had that smile on his face. He was _so_ happy. It was then I decided… I couldn't possibly let him be sad. I couldn't possibly be the reason he no longer smiled on his way home from school. So I fought. I fought with all my might to keep that boy happy. And up until now, it worked."

"Why was Shawn… not going to be happy?" Henry asked.

"You don't want to know."

"Yes. I really do. This is my son, we're talking about. I not only _want_ to know, I _need_ to know. Now."

"I really don't think you want to know."

"Believe me, I want to know."

"You don't-"

"He does!" Juliet, Carlton and Gus all said at the same time. They were growing tired of the same thing being said, back and forth between the two. Plus, the three of them wanted to know as well.

"Fine" Yang sighed. "In 1990, when I was still fully cooperating with Yin, we had chosen who our next target would be. And that was you, Henry." There was another moment of silence as the four of them took that in. Henry was to be the next target of Yin and Yang.

"I… What?" Henry mumbled.

"I told you you wouldn't want to know."

"I do want to know. I needed to know this. But… I… why?"

"You were a good detective, Henry. I personally didn't believe you'd get past round two. I mean, you'd have to pick between your wife and Shawn. I didn't think you'd be able to live with your decision, whatever it was. But Yin saw something special in you, so we continued with our plan with you as our intended target. And then I met Shawn. I knew that if we went through with our target, Shawn would either end up with a guilt ridden, depressed father, or a father that he assumed was dead. And then Shawn wouldn't be very happy and I wouldn't be able to live with myself.

"So Shawn was my something worth fighting for. And boy did I fight. I broke things off with Yin, insisting that I didn't want anything to do with him or The Truth anymore. I told him that if he dared target you again, I would kill him without hesitation. He backed off, thankfully, and Shawn was able to continue his happy life."

Henry couldn't help but let a small sad smile escape. His son, without even knowing it, had saved him. It always seemed to be like that. Shawn was doing the saving, and only once in a while would Shawn himself be the one saved. How Henry wish he could save him, now of all moments.

"But then," Yang continued. "Yin saw Shawn on the news. He saw how many cases he solved, how good he was becoming. I knew what he had in mind, and I had fought to save Shawn. I really had. But Yin snapped. He wanted to follow through with his plan. He wanted a new Yin and he was convinced Shawn was the one to take over. And I could see it too, that was the worst part. I had begged him not to, but it didn't work. He told me he would take down anyone who got in his way, including me."

"But you still helped Shawn" Juliet noted.

"Yes, I did. I was hoping Yin would leave Shawn be if he knew he had help."

"Would you still be willing to help?" Juliet asked. Yang raised an eyebrow at the detective. "I mean, if you really care about Shawn and you want him to be happy, and safe… would you still be willing to help us?"

"Of course I would" Yang answered, after a small moment of hesitation.

"Then tell us about Yin. Tell us everything there is to know about him."

"I don't think I-"

"We already know he was your father" Carlton said. "His real name is Patrick Benson, we know that. We also have a picture of him that we've sent out to alert people about. But it's not enough, Yang. It's not enough to catch the bastard before he really does hurt Shawn… if he hasn't already."

"I don't know where he's keeping Shawn" Yang said. "I didn't know the last time you were here, and I don't know now. So stop asking-"

"No. not just that" Carlton said. "_anything_. Literally, anything that we could go on. Anything that could be helpful in finding Shawn. Please."

"There is one thing" Yang said thoughtfully.

"Yes. Please. Tell us. Anything is better than nothing."

"Yin loved to give himself fake names. Last I checked, he was known as Karl Rotmensen. He taught a Romantic History class down at Santa Barbara College. That's all I know."

"That was Allison Cowley's teacher" Juliet noted.

"The dead girl from the college dorm?" Gus asked.

"Yes, exactly."

"Finally, a lead" Carlton said, with a small smile on his face.

"Thank you, Yang" Juliet said as the four of them started to stand up. "You've been a great help."

"You bring back my Shawnie in one piece, and we'll call it even" Yang said with a smile. "Now go do your thing." The four of them started to make their way towards the exit. "And don't forget to visit!" Yang called after them.

So with that, Henry, Juliet, Carlton and Gus walked out of the Psychiatric Prison and into their cars. They made their way to the college to ask about Karl Rotmensen. In both cars, there was a completely different atmosphere than there was only just an hour ago. Now, they had new determination, new confidence, new hopes and new leads. Things were finally going their way in the case. They weren't giving up on Shawn yet. They hadn't let him down _just_ yet. There was still hope, and they had to focus on that.


	10. Twenty-Three

**Hello lovelys!**

**It's a rather short chapter, and I'm not really happy with it. Unfortunately, I don't have the time to make it to my liking. I'm super busy, and while I wish I could make this chapter better, I really can't. **

**Please review! You know by now that I love all types of reviews. The good, the bad, criticisms or praise, corrections or and all that. I'd love to know your opinion. Of course, even if you're just following, or favoriting or lurking, I appreciate you sticking with the FanFic, I'd still love to hear your thoughts. So please review! You know you want to.**

* * *

December 28th, 2010

As soon as the two detectives had a name, they wasted no time. They contacted the Santa Barbara Police Department and demanded a full background check to be done. By the time they arrived at the station, the report was already finished and printed off. When the four of them walked through the station, no one dared question any of their motives, their progress or anything that had even the slightest connection to Shawn. As far as everyone else was concerned, the psychic was still dead. As far as everyone else was concerned, the four of them were closing in on Shawn's killer.

When Carlton approached his desk, he found Buzz behind it, holding a file marked 'Karl Rotmensen'. All Carlton had to do was give the officer one look and the file was in his hands. Buzz was terrified of Carlton on a good day. When he was finding the killer of one of their own… well, Buzz knew better than to get in his way. Carlton and Juliet both held on to the file and opened it. Gus and Henry peeked over Carlton's shoulder to get a good look at the file and started to read as quickly as they could.

The file stated that Karl was a professor at Santa Barbara College. That, they already knew. But they also found last known address and a building that was under his name. Then, there was also a picture ID of the man. All they had to do was take one good look at it to see that it was the same man in the video they saw of Yin. They could also very clearly see that Karl Rotmensen was none other than Patrick Benson. Yang had been telling the truth this whole time.

"McNabb!" Carlton yelled out.

"Yes sir?!" Buzz answered quickly. He hadn't moved from behind Carlton's desk, afraid he'd be yelled at if he did.

"I want you to round up a couple uniforms and go to Rotmensen's last known address" Carlton ordered, speaking a plan that it had seemed the four of them had come up with in their heads together and confirmed with a nod of their heads.

"Sir-"

"If you find Rotmensen there, bring him in for questioning. If he's not, I want you to call me with all the information you've gathered from his house. Then, I want you to head to this warehouse listed here and do a sweep. We will meet you at the warehouse. We're going to head over to Santa Barbara College and ask around for him."

"Um… sir-"

"If you find _anything_ you call me. It better be good, or else I will visit your nightmares."

"Sir-"

"WHAT?!"

"Um… I was just wondering… who is this guy? Why is he..." The glare Buzz received from not just Carlton, but all of them, made him cower down and lower his voice to a small squeak. "… so important? Why is he our number one priority?"

"Because he is Yin" Henry answered bluntly. "He's the bastard who has my son." Buzz didn't dare comment on the fact that Henry didn't say 'killed'.

"We'll meet you at the warehouse" Carlton said, already turning away from the officer and heading towards his car. "Call me if anything of importance should happen!"

Juliet followed after her partner without the usual cheery goodbye. Gus nodded and smiled at Buzz, feeling sorry for the pressure that was suddenly put on the poor cop. Henry glared for another couple seconds before following after the detectives and Gus. He wanted to make Buzz feel a little uncomfortable for being so ignorant at a time like this. True, it wasn't exactly Buzz's fault that he didn't know about Karl Rotmensen yet. But Henry needed someone to blame at all times. His son's life was at risk.

* * *

The team of four made it to the college in record time. As they walked through the campus, they tried with all their might not to go down memory road. It was less than a week ago that Shawn was walking down this path. It was only yesterday that they had walked here and been filled with hope. it was only last night that they found the disconcerting, never to be forgotten photo of their psychic, dead. They hoped that this visit to the college would end in good news, for just once. They wanted good news.

They walked into the main building of the college and wandered around as if they knew exactly where they were going. Every time someone asked what they were doing there or why they didn't have visitor's badge or anything, Carlton and Juliet would just raise their badge and continue to walk. Nothing was getting in their way now. _Nothing_.

They approached the front desk and asked for professor Rotmensen. Before the receptionist even had time to question why they were here, Carlton and Juliet shoved their badge in her face. Without any further delay, the secretary explained how to get to his room. None of the four people there thanked the receptionist before they walked in the direction she pointed out.

Once they arrived at his classroom, they pushed through the doors with meaning. They found the lecture room to be empty, except for a middle aged man sitting by the desk. He looked up towards the door and nearly screamed when the full force of the team of four went storming towards him. The poor professor was scared out of his mind, but tried to put on a brave face as he stood up to confront the four of them.

"Can I help you?" the man almost whimpered out.

"You're not Professor Karl Rotmensen" Carlton noted.

"No, no. I'm just the substitute" the man answered.

"Where's Rotmensen?" Juliet asked.

"I don't know. He hasn't been in for almost a week."

"When did he stop coming in to work, exactly?" Juliet asked.

"Well, he called in sick on the 22nd. And he hasn't shown up for work since."

"That's when Shawn was taken" Gus whispered.

"I'm sorry, what's going on?" the man asked. Carlton ignored his question and instead held out the photo of Yin they had taken from the video surveillance in Psych.

"Is this him?" he asked. The man took a good look at the photo before nodding.

"Yeah, without a doubt. I mean, he doesn't usually wear hats, but yeah. That's him. Why? Is he wanted?"

"Yes" the four of them answered at once.

"Oh God…"

"Do you know where he might be?" Carlton asked.

"No… no, I have no idea. He kept to himself a lot. I never really knew the guy. What's he wanted for?"

"Kidnap and murder" Carlton answered without hesitation. "When was the last time you saw Rotmensen?"

"Um… I… I saw him two days ago" the man answered, gaining whatever attention he didn't already have from the team of four. "He dropped by to collect a project he had assigned two weeks ago. He said he was still feeling ill, but wouldn't feel right if someone else marked this specific project. He said he wanted to do _something_ while he was recovering at home."

"What project was it?" Juliet asked.

"The students had to film a news report of an explosion in a motel where four people were killed."

Carlton, Juliet, Henry and Gus had nothing to say to that. There was four of them, they were in a motel when it had exploded. With Yin, there's no such thing as coincidences. Their eyes just opened wide with fear. For one thing, this meant that Yin had planned the explosion for weeks. He knew there would be four of them there and he knew they'd find the motel. It was a trap. But the worst part about this news report was to do with something Yang had said: _'When it's time for him to see the Truth, he'll be told that you're all dead. It'll be damn convincing and he'll believe it'_. So that was how it was going to happen.

The four of them simultaneously turned around and headed for the door.

"Thank you for your time" Juliet muttered just as she was walking out the door.

They were already all piled into Carlton's car when the call came in. Juliet and Carlton fought for a couple seconds over who should answer before Juliet grabbed the phone and hit the speaker button.

"O'Hara" she answered.

'Hi, Juliet' Buzz greeted. 'We just finished up at the last known residence. It was all clear. No sign of Rotmensen and no indication as to where he might have gone.'

"Alright, thanks Buzz" Juliet said. "Head over to the warehouse, we'll meet you there."

'Sure thing.' And with that, the phone call ended and they all drove as fast as they could to the warehouse.

This had to be the place.

* * *

Due to traffic, Carlton's car arrived at the warehouse around ten minutes after Buzz's team did. The team of four were not greeted by a very comforting site. The warehouse was swarming with forensics and officers. There was an ambulance parked outside and there were pictures being snapped at every angle. Carlton and Juliet exchanged a worried look before pushing their doors open and rushing to the entrance of the warehouse. Henry and Gus were not far behind them

"McNabb!" Carlton yelled as soon as he was in his sight. The tall officer quickly turned around, a terrified look on his face. No one wanted to deal with Carlton when he was in this state.

"Yes, sir?"

"I thought I told you to call if you found anything important!"

"Oh, sorry. We were kind of busy…" Carlton sighed and moved on. It wasn't normal for him to move on from a mistake so easily, but right now, there were more urgent matters.

"What do we have here, McNabb?" Carlton asked.

"We've got signs of a struggle, evidence of someone being held captive and… um… a dead body…"

At those words, the four of them stiffened. A dead body. Shawn's dead body? Was Yang wrong? Was Shawn actually dead? It couldn't be. Please, God, it couldn't be. They had so much hope. Shawn had to be alive. He had to.

Without another word, the four of them went running into the warehouse. In the first room they went into, they found a chair that had a bit of blood on it as well as ropes tied around it. As they walked further through the warehouse, they walked into a different room. This room had a TV, a table and the dead body. The TV was on a blue screen and the body was covered in a white sheet.

The four of them slowly made their way to the dead body. The kneeled down next to it and hesitated for a moment. They wanted to flip the sheet over, but they so desperately didn't want to as well. They wanted to see who it was, but they were terrified that it would be Shawn. So, finally, closing his eyes, Carlton grabbed hold of the white sheet. He took a deep breath before flinging the sheet of the dead man.

They all could have laughed in relief. It wasn't Shawn.

It was very clear that the dead man was none other than Karl Rotmensen. AKA, Patrick Benson. AKA, Yin. The bad guy was dead. The bastard was dead. But… that did raise several questions. Where was Shawn now? How did he escape? And worst of all… how did Yin die? They all seemed to be wondering about the same questions because after only a moment of recognising the face, they all reached for the sheet to inspect his injuries and find out what was the cause of death. Carlton was the one who grabbed the sheet again. This time he was slow to peel it off the dead man. It was impossible to miss out exactly what had killed the man. They actually counted. They counted three times and stared at the dead body in shock.

Cause of death: twenty three stabs to the chest.


	11. Overkill

**Hello lovelys! I got such a quick and wonderful response from the last chapter so I though... eh... what the hell, I'll post the next chapter up sooner rather than later. So here ya go!**

**Originally, this was going to be a short chapter, but I combined it with the next one (which was also going to be a short chapter) and turned it into a decent sized chapter. I'm so clever.**

**I must say, you are all quite lucky. You don't have to wait long for my updates because most of these chapters are already written. I'm in such a busy point in my life right now that I wouldn't have had the time to write any of this. Just check on the other Fics I'm writing. They're all on a momentary break. That would have happened to this one as well if my chapters weren't already written. So yeah. Feel special.**

**Please review! I love all types of reviews (as I'm sure you all know by now). So please review! You know you want to.**

* * *

December 28th, 2010

Carlton, Juliet, Henry and Gus were all sitting at the Police Station. In front of them were all the details of the warehouse. The forensics report, the autopsy report… everything. It was disturbing to go through, but they had to.

The chair that had blood on it clearly showed that a person had been tied to it. They did a blood test on the drops of blood on the chair and found that it matched Shawn's. Then on the rope, they managed to get some samples of DNA. Those matched Shawn's as well. And so, evidence clearly stated that Shawn was definitely being held captive at that warehouse. And, according to another report on the crime scene, he was held captive at the warehouse up until today, not long before the police had arrived.

They had found a couple drops of blood in front of the TV screen. That blood not only belonged to Shawn, but it was also still wet when the police had arrived. If they had only gotten there sooner, they might have found Shawn.

That, however, was not the most disturbing part. Nono. The most disturbing part of this whole crime scene was that they had undeniable evidence that Shawn had been the one to kill Yin. It was impossible for it to be otherwise. Yin's time of death was estimated to be only one hour before the police arrived. At this point, according to the wet blood, Shawn was still in the warehouse. The murder weapon had been Shawn's army knife, the one that he carried with him at all times. The little devil did quite a number on Yin. They know Shawn had been the one to use the knife because his prints, and only his prints, were found on the knife. Sure, it could be argued that since it was Shawn's knife it could have already have his prints. But no. One of the prints they lifted from the knife was bloody with Yin's blood.

And then there were bloody handprints along the wall and bloody footprints leading to the wall. The handprints were able to provide fingerprints and they matched Shawn's. The blood, on the other hand, matched Yin's blood. Also found at the crime scene were Shawn's shoes. He must have taken them off when he realised they were covered in Yin's blood and walked out one of the doors without leaving a trace. Sure, they knew Shawn was in the warehouse, but they had no idea where he was now, or even which direction he could have gone in. All they had to work with was that Shawn killed Yin.

And the worst part of it was that Shawn had stabbed Yin twenty three times in the chest. _Twenty three_. That is a lot of times to stab someone in the chest. If it was once, sure, it could have been self-defence. It could have been Shawn trying to run away from his captive situation. Even if it were two stabs it still could have been self-defence. If Yin had died from one or two stabs it could still be self-defence. But it was _twenty three_ times. It wasn't just murder, it was overkill. Shawn knew very well what he was doing, knew the consequences, knew how much problems this would cause, but still kept stabbing away. The coroner found that after the second or third stab wound, Yin must have died. More or less twenty of the stab wounds had been made post mortem. How far gone does one have to be to stab someone _twenty times_ in the chest, after already killing them.

"But… it was Yin" Gus said softly, breaking the almost three hour long silence. "Yin killed lots of people in the past. Yin psychologically _destroyed_ tons of people in the past. Yin was holding Shawn captive. Doesn't… doesn't that count for anything?"

"It doesn't matter if the man was a bad guy or not" Carlton said sadly. "Murder is murder. And overkill is a whole other matter. You can't get much worse than this." At this point Henry stood up and started to walk away, a defeated look in his eyes.

"I think I've had enough of this" Henry said. "my son may be alive, but at this point… he's not Shawn anymore. He's the new Yin."

"What?" Carlton asked, shocked.

"Didn't you hear what Yang said? You see the truth and you either become Yin by killing the old one, or you kill yourself. I think it's pretty clear what Shawn chose."

"Henry, you can't just give up" Juliet said. "We'll find Shawn. You'll see, he'll be the same person-"

"Are you suggesting that Shawn used to stab people past the point of death?" Henry asked. "Are you suggestion that Shawn was _ever_ capable of ending a life? Of running away from the horrible deed he did without a hint of guilt? This isn't Shawn anymore! This is a serial killer! This is _Yin_." Everyone stared at him in shock.

"Mr. Spencer-" Gus started. Henry ignored him.

"The sooner you three understand that, the sooner you can catch him and put an end to all this Yin and Yang madness." And with that, Henry stormed out of the precinct. It was a crazy few days for the father. He lost his son, regained hope, and then lost him all over again. He never wanted to go through this horrible pain again. Now, he didn't want to get his hopes up, thinking Shawn could change back. He couldn't. To get his hopes crushed again just might ruin him. So, Henry made his way home, like he should have done days ago.

Back at the station, Carlton, Juliet and Gus were still sitting exactly where they were, letting Henry's words sink in.

"He's right, you know" Carlton said. Juliet and Gus looked up. They knew Henry was right. They knew all of this was true and completely mad. But they just didn't want to believe it. They wanted to believe there was still hope in finding their Shawn.

"Carlton-" Juliet tried to interrupt, but was ignored.

"No, O'Hara. He's right. Spencer is Yin now. He passed the third test just like Shirley Benson did. She was a perfectly normal girl once. Then she went through the tests and became Yang. The same thing is happening to Shawn. He went through the tests and then killed Yin in the most brutal way possible. He has become Yin now. And I'd say we have about twenty-four hours before Yin chooses his next town to target. Once he does, he's out of our reach and we'll have let Shawn down again."

"Shawn can change back" Juliet said suddenly. It was the reminder of Yang that gave Juliet this hope. "Yang said it herself. She found something worth fighting for. She found Shawn and decided to fight 'The Truth' or whatever the hell it is they see. All Shawn needs is something to fight for as well. He thinks he has nothing. He thinks he lost everything. But he hasn't! We need to find a way to let him know we're alright! To let him know he isn't alone!"

"O'Hara…" Carlton said sadly. Juliet knew she was being optimistic. She knew the odds of that happening were slim to none. She knew that. But she also knew that she couldn't give up. She had to keep fighting for Shawn.

"Don't, Carlton" Juliet said.

"I'm just saying-"

"Well, don't!" Juliet was close to tears at this point. She refused to give up on Shawn.

"Juliet…" Gus said softly. "I don't want to believe my best friend has become this… monster… but I have to face the facts. And so do you…" Juliet just shook her head. She couldn't believe her ears. Everyone was giving up on Shawn.

"I suggest we put out an APB on Yin" Carlton said suddenly. "If we alert as many police departments as possible, we can stop him from leaving the state."

"We should inform as many people about the Yin-Yang cases over the past fifty years" Gus added. "Let everyone know about the killings."

"It'll be the quickest way to find Yin. The least we could do is warn everyone about it."

"We could send out photos of him to the border lines. We can try to keep Yin-"

"HIS NAME IS SHAWN!" Juliet screamed. Gus and Carlton stared at her. Officers from the other side of the police station stared at her. She slowed down her breathing and tried to calm down. "His name. Is _Shawn_" She said again, in a low dangerous voice. "Not _Yin._ Shawn. While _clearly_ you two have, _I'm_ not giving up on him!"

"O'Hara-"

"There has to be a reason to all of this! You don't just wake up one morning and stab someone twenty three times in the chest! You just _don't_! Shawn's somewhere in this whole mess, and I'm not giving up on him! I've let him down enough this past week, and I don't intend to do it again!"

"Shawn's gone" Carlton said. Juliet finally lost control of her anger and slapped Carlton as hard as she could across the face.

"No, he's _not_" Juliet hissed at him. And with that, she stormed out of the station with every pair of eyes on her as she did. She didn't care, though. She believe Shawn was somewhere in this mess, still sane and still good. She believed in Shawn. She believed that not all hope was lost. And, God dammit, she was going to _prove_ it!

* * *

December 29th, 2010

Juliet had intended to spend the rest of her day yesterday researching on Shawn. But, when she got back home, she just collapsed on her couch and cried. What if Carlton was right? What if Shawn really was gone, now? She cried and cried until she just finally passed out. When she woke up, she was almost ashamed of herself. She couldn't give up on Shawn. She just started, for heaven's sake. So, she quickly showered and changed and made her way to the crime scene.

The warehouse was still filled with officers and forensics. They were photographing every single inch of the building and trying to put an end to this case. Most of them just couldn't believe that Shawn was the killer. Most of them were doing all this extra time to try and find some shred of proof that it hadn't been Shawn. No luck yet.

Juliet walked past most of the officers with a flash of her badge. Not everyone knew about her explosion the day before, but she knew that it'd only be a matter of time. Once everyone knew, the chief would call her in and she'd be pulled of the case, she was sure of it. So it was now or never. Juliet had to fight to prove Shawn's sanity. She was the only one that believed in it, and soon she'd be taken off the case. She walked to the front door and was about to walk in when someone pulled her back and away. Juliet was about to lash out at whoever it was when she turned around and saw Buzz giving her a worried look. She calmed herself down, just a little bit, for Buzz's sake before explaining herself.

"Buzz…" Juliet started.

"Lassiter called yesterday" Buzz said quickly. "Told me that you were off the case and not to let you in. Sorry." Juliet was furious. Firstly, she was _not_ off the case yet! It was the chief's choice, and so far, Juliet hadn't heard anything from her. Carlton was just being a jerk. It really was Juliet against the world right now.

"Firstly, I _am _on the case" Juliet said. "Carlton and I are just at a disagreement right now. He wants me off, but that's not going to happen." Buzz was about to interrupt, but Juliet just shot him a look, so he shut his mouth. "_Secondly_, I'm currently the only person who is _really_ on Shawn's side. Everyone else is looking for him to arrest him or contain him or something like that. I'm looking for him to prove to everyone that he's okay. So what's it going to be, Buzz? Are you going to help me out here, help _Shawn_ out, or are you going to keep blindly following Carlton's orders?" Buzz hesitated a moment, considering his options. It was a fairly short moment, in the end. After all, when it came to Shawn, Buzz seemed to be rather easily persuaded.

"Well, I _suppose_ I could have done a perimeter check at the wrong moment…" Buzz suggested. Juliet smiled at him.

"Rather inconveniently timed, if you ask me" Juliet said. Buzz smiled at her and turned his back to her. She took that as her signal to go inside. This way, when asked, Buzz could honestly say he didn't see Juliet go into the warehouse.

Juliet walked through the main room and found herself drawn to the chair. The warehouse was so empty and so entirely _creepy_. Whenever she walked into the damn place she got shivers down her spine. She didn't really want to spend more time than necessary in that place. And yet, here she was. Spending her free time searching the damn place. She was desperate to find some reason as to why Shawn could have just snapped. She was so sure that there must be a reason other than the fact that he became Yin. There must be.

Juliet had been searching the warehouse for two and a half hours before she heard the sound of a car pulling up and Carlton barking orders soon after. Her time had run out, and she had nothing to show for her search. She was starting to lose what little hope she had. She was so sure there was another reason for Shawn to snap like he did, but maybe she was wrong. Maybe Carlton was right after all. Maybe she owed the head detective an apology. And maybe, just maybe, she _should_ be taken off the case.

She sat down on the chair Shawn had been tied to. Yes, it was evidence and she shouldn't even _think_ about doing that, but she was just so tired. Of everything. Of the case, of her partner, of constantly being disappointed and constantly having her hopes crushed. She knew this was all part of the job, and she knew that this was the extreme dangers of being so emotionally involved in a case like this. It ruins your judgment, makes your opinions less credible, but above all, it crushes your every hope and faith in humanity.

She heard the front doors open, and prepared herself for the lecture of a life time. She prepared herself for the yelling, the threats of ending her career… all of it. She was so prepared for it, so she just waited for it to come. She closed her eyes and heard her name being yelled out by her partner. She opened her eyes and stared as her partner and Gus made their way towards her. She didn't even attempt a small smile. She let Shawn down again. She failed him. And now all she wanted to do was curl up on her couch and cry.

As she was standing up to deal with her new fan club, her pants had rode up just a bit and revealed a bit of her ankle. That small second, that small amount of revealed skin, that small, tiny, seemingly insignificant event made all the difference in the world. She felt a very cold breeze hit her ankle. She turned around to find the source of that air, only to be greeted by a solid wall. But there had to be a mistake. She couldn't deny the cold air she felt hit her skin. There was something there. A vent, an aircon… something that everyone else missed.

She stared at the wall, finally seeing that there was a crack in it at around the height of Juliet's waist. She picked at it, realising that it was a change in wallpaper. She didn't even think that it had been wallpaper to begin with. She assumed it was painted. So, Juliet continued to pick at the wallpaper, desperate for any sort of lead. Finally, she got a good grip on it and pulled with all her might, tearing as much of it off as possible.

"O'HARA!" Carlton yelled at her from across the room. "What the hell are you doing?!" now he started to run towards her.

Juliet ignored him and stared at her discovery. There was a vent at the bottom. It was blowing cold air out, which did beg the question… why would anyone bother to waste money and energy on this cold air, only to cover it up and prevent any of the cold air to cool the room? There must be something hidden in the vent. So, Juliet knelt down and pulled the vent open, thanking her lucky stars that the lid hadn't been screwed shut. She reached inside, hands meeting a glass container. Unable to properly see it from her angle, she pulled it out. It was a very large open bottle of some liquid, a cloth sticking out of it. She turned it carefully, finally finding a small label. She stared at the liquid in shock.

Carlton had been by her side when she had pulled the glass container out. He was going to yell at her earlier for messing with a crime scene, but then she pulled out evidence that everyone else missed out on. He had to give credit where it was due. But now that that was over and done with, the lecturing could begin.

"Guster, take this to forensics" Carlton ordered, pointing at the liquid. Juliet stared at him in shock and when Gus made a reach for her new piece of evidence, she simply glared at him, pulling the liquid away from him. "O'Hara…" Carlton warned.

"Do you know what this is?" Juliet cut him off.

"No, that's what forensics is-"

"It's Amyl Nitrite" Juliet said quickly. Gus' eyes widened at the new knowledge, and slowly pulled his hands away. "Do you have any idea what this does to a person?"

"What, it's used in fuel, or something like that." Carlton said.

"That's Amyl Nitr_ate_" Gus said. "Amy Nitrite is different. It's a psychoactive drug . And anyways, in both cases inhaling too much of it could drive you crazy."

"Exactly" Juliet said. "And this was just sitting in the vent, blowing it directly in Shawn's direction." Juliet gestured to the vent then to the chair, showing just how close the contact was. "Shawn sat in that chair for the past week or so. He sat there most likely every hour of every day since he was taken. Constantly inhaling pure Amyl Nitrite. Shawn then wakes up one day, unbound and Yin is in front of him. So he snaps! After inhaling the amount of Amyl Nitrite he did, he was just as likely to kill Yin as you are to chase Gus around with a sword, desperate to kill him!"

"Don't be ridiculous, O'Hara" Carlton said. "I would never do that."

"Well…" Gus said.

"No, you wouldn't do it _normally_-"

"Well…" Gus interrupted again. Juliet ignored him again.

"- But if you had just inhaled this amount of a psychoactive drug… then things would be different. Things would be _very_ different."

"Alright… alright, you might have a point" Carlton said, staring at the bottle. Assuming it had been full at the beginning of the week, he had to admit, that was a lot of drugs to take in at once.

"So there. See?" Juliet said. "Shawn's not necessarily Yin yet. He killed Benson, yes. but… can't we claim drug induced insanity on that one? The initial kill might have actually _been_ self-defence, and the only reason he kept on stabbing was because of the Amyl Nitrite. He could still be… I don't know, transitioning into becoming Yin. Maybe he hasn't fully accepted The Truth, or whatever it is. Maybe there's still a chance. He probably still has the drug in his system, but if we find him… if we show him we're not actually dead, maybe we can get him back. Shawn isn't completely gone yet!"

"O'Hara-"

"Don't," Juliet lifted her hand and pointed it at Carlton threateningly and Carlton tried hard not to, but flinched anyways. Juliet would have laughed in that tiny instance if it weren't so serious. "Don't you _dare_ tell me I'm just being optimistic."

"Actually… I was _going_ to say that if this is true… we really don't have much time at all. Before you know it, he'll be out of this state and out of our reach. We need to find him now, or it'll be too late."

"So you're saying there's a chance…" Carlton sighed.

"I think there's a chance… " he said quietly. Juliet started to smile as widely as she possibly could. "O'Hara, please don't put all your hopes on this, though. There's a chance Shawn is still Shawn. But there's an equal chance that we're too late."

"Okay" Juliet agreed.

"Now… let's get this off to forensics and start to trace possible routes Spencer could have taken from here" Carlton said, feeling in control again.

"Um… detectives…" a small voice called out from behind them. The two detectives and Gus turned to be greeted by Buzz.

"McNabb, just the person I wanted to see!" Carlton said.

"Really?" he asked. Carlton grabbed the glass bottle from Juliet.

"Get this off to forensics" he said, handing over the drug to the officer. Carlton turned away from Buzz and looked back at the other two. "Now, O'Hara, Guster-"

"… Detectives?" Buzz tried again. Carlton sighed, his patience wearing thin.

"What? What is it, McNabb?"

"The chief wants to see you… all of you."

"What for?"

"She wants you guys off the case."


	12. Off the Case

**Hello lovelys! So, I hope you all enjoy this update. It's rather short, and I'm not very fond of it, but it's quite necessary. After this, shit gets so seriously serious. I'm so looking forward to you all reading the chapter after this (not so much this one…)**

**You all have been so lovely these past 2 chapters. It's incredible how much and how quickly I got these responses. It's amazing, you're all amazing. Thanks so much, all of you.**

**Please review! I enjoy reading all reviews, the good, the bad the seriously judging me because of my cliffies. All of it. Lurkers, I know you're out there, thanks for reading, I'd love to hear your opinions too!**

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December 29th, 2010

Carlton, Juliet and Gus all made their way to the chief's office. After all of their hard work, they couldn't believe it was coming down to this. They were being taken off the case? No way in hell was that actually happening. They simply couldn't allow it. They had gotten so far in this case, they had done so much. They couldn't just carelessly hand it over to some other detective. They just couldn't.

By the time they had walked into her office, they were all on a different planet. Carlton was stuck going over every single thing he did in the last week, trying to find even the smallest of reasons that he should be taken off the case. He had been thinking of that, going over it all for the past half hour and so far had been coming up blank. He couldn't find a good enough reason to be taken off the case, and that was exactly what he would tell the chief. If need be, he'd fight against Juliet, explain how _she_ should be taken off the case, not him. Sure, it wasn't what partners did to each other, but he had always thought she was too emotionally invested. As for Guster, well, he tried telling him from the beginning to stay away from the case. It wasn't his fault the salesman wouldn't listen.

When Gus walked in, he was feeling arrogant. Sure, the chief could tell him to stay away, but surely she knew he wouldn't. She had dealt with Shawn countless times in the past and had quickly learnt that there is no way to get the Psych duo away from a case. Surely she knew that there was no possible way she could actually force him to stay away. And he was confident in this. He wasn't about to let the closest thing he had to lead slip away from him, not when Shawn was involved.

Juliet on the other hand was already thinking about what she'd say. If the chief officially took her off the case, she already had developed three plans to continue investigating. She could either join up with Gus and combine forces. She knew that Gus wouldn't give up, so she could team up with him. Plan B, keep investigating in the case without the chief knowing. That would of course mean she'd only have minimal contributions to the case, but it was better than nothing. At least she would still be looking for Shawn. Her third plan was a last resort plan. If need be, she would quit. She would throw in her badge and look for Shawn on her own. The chief can't legally keep her out of it in that case.

So the three of them walked into the chief's office prepared.

The chief gestured to the three seats in front of her while she took a seat behind her desk. The three plopped down in front, their arguments for staying on the case at the tip of their tongue. Chief Vick knew that they would argue back if she dared take them off the case, so she had prepared all her reasoning's behind it and even practiced her hard glare a couple times in front of a mirror. After all, she is Chief of Police. Her word is final.

The chief took in a big sigh before she dared begin. "Detectives-"

"Chief, let me explain" both Carlton and Juliet said at the same time. They both threw each other a quick glare before continuing.

"I've done absolutely nothing wrong" Carlton said as Juliet argued, "Yes, I went into the warehouse, but I was never actually taken off the case!"

"I'm hardly emotionally attached at all-"

"I might be a little emotional about this-"

"I mean, it's Spencer. Yes I want to find him-"

"It's Shawn after all. Who _isn't_ emotional about this-"

"But you know me, I go by the book-"

"You can't expect that giving this case to someone else-"

"I follow every word-"

"Would make them less invested in this-"

"DETECTIVES!" the Chief yelled. They both fell silent. The chief sighed again before looking at Gus. "Well, I can see where their opinions are with my decision, what about yourself, Mr. Guster?"

"Well…" Gus said, looking up. "You can take me off the case, but that doesn't mean I'm going to stop investigating."

"Alright, so you're with them" the chief noted. "Allow me to explain, in _extreme_ detail, shall I? I promise to address all of your points.

"Mr. Guster, I'm taking you off the case because there is no possible way you can look at this objectively. You're best friend and partner has been taken captive and his whereabouts are unknown. If we need you to help locate him by telling us his usual hang out places or where he's most likely to go, we will call you and ask for your advice. True, I can't stop you investigating. That being said, if I catch you at any of my crime scenes or going after anyone and chasing Shawn down, I _will_ charge you with obstruction of justice, and I will keep you under _my_ eye until _at least_ this case is over.

"O'Hara, this was never about you going into the warehouse today. I don't really care that you went in because, as you said, you weren't off the case at that point. You are now, and if I am ever to hear that you set a single _toe_ in that warehouse without my say so, there _will_ be consequences.

"Lassiter, there are various things you have done wrong this investigation, so don't patronize me saying there isn't. And before you ask, yes, I will give you examples. I intend to point out each and every thing you did wrong, point by point. Hopefully that will convince you exactly why you should be taken off the case. So, from the beginning, shall we?

"The day after Shawn was taken, you all went into a motel. An explosion went off and you all wound up in the hospital. Several things wrong there. You didn't clear the area before you checked the room. There could have been other there. There could have been other casualties. That's just problem number one with this scenario. There's also the problem that you endangered two civilian's lives in this search. Mr. Guster's and Mr. Spencer's. You're both lucky they didn't get more than a couple minor burns. And then lastly, there is your own health to take into consideration. No, you couldn't have known there was a bomb there, but you signed out of the hospital against medical advice. You were so emotionally invested in this case that you couldn't let anyone else take over, so you put your own wellbeing at risk.

"Then, the day you signed out of the hospital, you put out an APB on an aged copy of Patrick Benson. A Private I. who died in 1985!"

"Chief, in all fairness, we did turn out to be right. He was Yin-" Carlton tried.

"But you had no_ proof! _The only evidence you had on your side was the fact that there was no body! You can't just put APBs out like that! You turned this department into a laughing stock! Here's SBPD looking for a man who, according to records, has been dead for _twenty five years_! Speaking of putting APBs out, there's the one you put on Shawn as well-"

"But Chief-" Juliet tried to explain.

"As far as anyone in this department knows, Shawn is the _victim_! You don't put APBs out on victims! And as far as the _public_ knows, Shawn Spencer is _dead_! Again, you made us into a laughing stock! No one took you APB seriously! The only one who did was a hotel manager in Denver. _Colorado_! How, detectives, could the victim of Yin travel to _Colorado_ just like that?"

"He had help?" Gus suggested.

"No!" the chief yelled. "He isn't there! If anything, he's near the warehouse in hiding! He can't have gotten far. Yes, right now he's the prime suspect for the killing of Karl Rotmensen, but you put out the APB before the results were even in! Before we knew for sure that it was Shawn who did it. _No one_ took it seriously, and now we may have just lost our last chance of finding him! And would you like to know _why_ you made all of these rookie mistakes?

"Be_cause _you are all far too emotionally invested in this case! You won't wait for tests to come back, you jump to conclusions, and you put not only yourself, but those around you in immediate danger! It is not only for the reputation of this department, but also for the wellbeing of you and those around you that I am forced to take you all off the case." All three of them opened their mouths to argue back, but Chief Vick just raised a finger. "I don't want to hear it. I don't want to hear a _single_ word from any of you. You're all off the case, and that's final. If I catch any of you investigating again, consider yourself suspended and, or, under arrest for obstruction of justice. Have I made myself clear?"

There was no response from any of them. No nod of the head, no protest, no sign of understanding or disagreement. They all just looked at her, re-evaluating their options.

"I think we should check out the witness in Colorado" Carlton said quietly. Gus and Juliet nodded along with him while the chief just looked in in pure shock.

"You're joking, right?" the Chief asked. "Please, Lassiter, let this be one of your wasted attempts at humor."

"No, chief. I… I really think-" Carlton was cut off by the sound of the office phone ringing. Chief Vick, only too keen for a distraction from this insane ordeal, quickly reached for the phone. She gave them all a look, which they all knew meant they weren't done discussing things, before answering the phone.

"Chief Vick…" confusion crossed the Chief's face. "Mr. Spencer? What are you-" She was cut off and started listening intently on the other side. The other three in the room merely sighed. It was just Henry. "Now, wait, Mr. Spencer… Mr. Spencer!" The Chief pulled the phone away and stared at in confusion before putting it down. The other three looked up at the chief, fully expecting her yelling to pick up again, only stronger and even more scary than before. Instead, she seemed calm. Or, at the very least, confused.

"That was Shawn" the Chief said. The three of them jumped out of their seats, all eager to help in any way shape and form. "He's in Santa Barbara, at his house." The three of them started to make for the door. "Not so fast, you three" the chief ordered. They all froze at the door and turned around. "He said he'll be gone in half an hour, and if we don't follow what he says, he leave immediately. The only person he's willing to see right now… is you, Detective Lassiter."


	13. Shawn's Descent

**Hello lovelys! Ahhh! We've reached the intense half of the PsychFic. That's right, the first half isn't nearly as intense as this half is. Brace yourselves!**

**So this chapter has about… uuhh… no dialogue. Only a couple lines in the first couple paragraphs, but even that isn't technically dialogue. So… yeah, sorry if it bores you. I like to think that what's written, despite the lack of dialogue, is rather interesting.**

**You guys have been truly AMAZING with your reviews! Thanks so much! They really mean a lot to me!**

**Please review! I love all types of reviews! The good, the bad, the awesome… all of them! So please, pretty please, review! You know you want to.**

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December 23rd, 2010

When Shawn woke up, he didn't dare open his eyes. He remembered that Yin was following him. He remembered that he could notice Yin out of the crowd now. Hell, he even remembered his theory that Karl Rotmensen was Yin. He remembered all this, and more. He remembered that Yin had got to him. He remembered that Yin had outsmarted the SPBD. He remembered this, and because of it, didn't dare open his eyes. He wanted to let Yin think he was still asleep. He didn't want to go through whatever he was supposed to go through. He _really_ didn't want to. He'd rather play dead and fall asleep or whatever it took to get him out of this mess. So he held his eyes shut and tried to focus on his surroundings by sound and feel.

He knew immediately that his hands were tied. He tried to move them, but couldn't. And while he couldn't exactly feel the bindings, he knew that if you couldn't touch his face, his hands were probably tied. He tried to straighten his legs, but found that those too were restrained. At least… at least he _thought_ they were. He wasn't entirely sure. He couldn't exactly feel those either. So, he decided, instead of psyching himself out, he would focus on what he could hear. And yes… he could hear cars. He could hear them driving past. He could hear footsteps… and he could definitely hear the sound of the car door swinging open, and the sound of someone coming in. Shawn tried very hard not to jump at the noise.

"Wakey, wakey" a voice called out. Shawn tried with all his might to ignore the voice. He was only barely aware of what was going on, and he was _not _in the mood to deal with whoever the voice belonged to right now. The voice, however, seemed to have other ideas. He quickly delivered a backhand to Shawn, who's head jerked to the right and his eyes flew open. He hadn't felt the slap at all, that was what worried him. He knew he _had_ been slapped (what else could make his head jerk like that?) but he couldn't feel the sharp sting of where the hand made contact with his cheek.

"Oh good, you're up!" the man in front of Shawn said. The man then placed a newspaper on Shawn's lap and pulled out a camera. "Smile, Shawny!" and with that, he snapped the photo. The man smiled and patted Shawn on the cheek twice in approval. Which only made Shawn freak out even more. He knew he had been patted on the cheek. He knew he had. He saw the hand move towards him. He _knew_ he had been! He saw it! So why the hell couldn't he _feel_ it?! "Oh, don't worry about that, just yet. I'll explain some other day" the man said as he pulled out a cloth and poured some liquid over it. "For now, just be a good boy and…" the man held the cloth against Shawn's nose and mouth. "Go to sleep…"

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?, ?, 2010

It was quite a while before Shawn woke up again. He had no idea when it was or where _he_ was, but yet again, he outright refused to open his eyes. He wanted to make sense of things first. He figured it was the same day as when he woke up, simply because he couldn't imagine sleeping for so long in one go. He assumed that at some point, he would have woken up from the movement of being taken from the van to… where ever he was. So yes. it must be the same day.

December 23rd, 2010

Oh… but, then again, Shawn had no idea what time it was when he first woke up. for all he knew it could have been very late in the day. After all, his sleep _was_ a drug induced sleep. He had no idea how much he was given or how long it would last. So, how was he to know whether or not it was the same day. Plus, there was the fact that he couldn't feel anything. He wouldn't have really known if he was moved from the van to wherever he was. He could have slept right through it for all he knew. So, actually, it's more than likely that it was the next day. Yes. it must be the next day.

December 24th, 2010

Yes. that's more like it. Although… no… How the hell was he supposed to know? He couldn't just assume a day later had passed. What if it hadn't? what if it was bright and early when Yin came in and took his photo? That's just as likely, really. Why would he assume it had been longer. Shawn really had no basis for this assumption. Why would he make such quick assumptions? Why assume? Why not just know? Oh that's right, because he doesn't know. He's just assuming. Assume… assume… assume… why does he keep thinking that word? It's such a weird word. At least… he _assumed_ the word assume was a weird word. He didn't really have anyone nearby to confirm or deny this fact. Was it a fact? Or is it purely opinion?

Oh, he's getting off track. Where was he? Oh, right.

December ?, 2010

He'd just have to take comfort in knowing that it couldn't have been more than a couple days. It couldn't have. Could it? No. It couldn't have been more than a couple days. It must be still 2010. It couldn't be a new year, he'd notice. He'd notice, wouldn't he? If he was asleep for nine days, he'd notice. He'd feel it. He must be able to feel it if he had been asleep for nine days. That is a long ass time to be asleep for. He would have felt it. it must still be December. It just felt right.

Speaking of feel…

Shawn tried to raise his hand, but couldn't. At least… he assumed he couldn't. He couldn't feel it move. He couldn't feel his hand at all. Or his legs. Or anything, for that matter. He just… he couldn't feel. But surely, if he wanted to move his hand he could. So therefore, he must be restrained. Right? Right. Yes. He must be restrained. Maybe he just couldn't feel it because he was tired. That must be it. He's just tired. Maybe he's been sitting for a while so his arms and legs and… whole body… fell asleep. Yes. That must be it. That's why he can't feel them. See? Simple explanation.

Okay, so he's restrained (right?). He won't be able to feel around to find out where he is. So he has to focus on sound. Listen to everything. Try to focus on… anything… there's the sound of… um… there's… um… well… there's the sound of… nothing. He hears nothing. He can't hear a car, a footstep, the wind or anything similar. He can't hear a single thing… why can't he hear a single thing? Shawn sighed out of frustration. At least… at least he _thinks_ he sighed… he can't tell. He can't feel the movement, and he sure as hell can't _hear_ it. So he tried again. He sighed. Nothing. He couldn't hear anything, he couldn't feel anything. He wasn't even sure he had sighed anymore. How can you not be sure if you had sighed? What the hell was going on?! Why couldn't Shawn hear himself sigh?!

He tried again and again. He kept sighing, but heard nothing. He _thinks_ at one point he started hyperventilating. But, again, he's not sure. He can't hear it and he can't feel it. He doesn't know, he just assumes he has because he keeps telling himself to sigh. Is he even sighing? He doesn't even know anymore. So he tries to stop sighing and listens to any other part of him that might make noise. Nothing. He tried tapping something, but he wasn't even sure he _was_ tapping anything. Then, he tried swallowing. He heard nothing, he _felt_ nothing. Did he even swallow? Then Shawn tried to speak or hum or anything. But he couldn't feel the vibration that came with speaking, and he couldn't hear anything. Did he even speak? Shawn quickly started to panic. Why couldn't he hear anything? Was he even doing anything? He tried to focus on something that didn't require him to move. He tried to focus on his heartbeat. He focused as hard as he could, but he couldn't feel the faint heartbeat that most people could if they focused really hard. He couldn't hear the small sound that would sometimes be there if he was really panicking. Was his heart even beating?

It was at this point that Shawn finally decided to pry his eyes open. He needed to make sense of his surroundings. He had to. He _needed_ to. It was the only thing to keep him sane at this point. He would give anything to just _understand_. But, when his eyes opened, he was mortified. He couldn't see _anything_. There was no difference between when his eyes were closed and when they were open. He was surrounded by darkness. Shawn quickly reasoned that he was in a dark room. So he waited for his eyes to adjust. And boy, did he wait. He waited what seemed like hours before deciding his eyes were never going to adjust to something that wasn't there. Yes, that's right. Nothing there. There couldn't be anything there. If there was something there, Shawn would have seen it. He has the best observational skills that anyone has ever seen. If there was something to be seen, he would have seen it!

There's nothing there! Nothing! He's just surrounded by a big pile of nothing! That explains it all! that explains everything! That's why he can't hear anything or feel anything or smell anything or do anything or _see_ anything! Because there's NOTHING THERE! There can't be anything there. There can't be. He would have noticed it. He would have seen it! He would have heard it! He would _know_ if there was something there! There's nothing! He can't focus on his surroundings, because THERE ARE NONE! There are no surroundings. There can't be. He would have noticed them. He WOULD HAVE NOTICED!

There's nothing there. Nothing. Not even himself. He couldn't be there. He really couldn't be there. He would have seen his own body. He would be able to feel his own body. He would be able to feel his arms and legs if he were there. He would have been able to hear his own breathing and hear and feel his heartbeat if he was there. He couldn't be there. Everything he knows says he isn't there. He couldn't be there. There's no proof to say he was! There's nothing there, not him not anything. It's just a big pile of nothing. It's just a bunch of thoughts put into emptiness.

But then, that _did_ beg the question… was he _ever_ there? Did Shawn ever actually exist? He couldn't have. Surely, if he had, he wouldn't just be thoughts in nothingness. So that's what Shawn was, then. He was just thoughts in nothingness. That must be it.

No, but Shawn must have existed. He had so many memories. There was… Jules. And a Lassie. A Gus, and a Pop. Shawn must have existed, there are memories. There's Psych. There's a Blueberry. There's a Goose. There are memories! These thoughts in nothingness have _memories_! Surely, then, these bunch of thoughts in nothingness is a person it has memories! It has a life! It's Shawn. He must be real.

But then again… who the hell says that these memories are real? These could have just been invented by the thoughts in nothingness to convince itself that it's an actual thing. Shawn doesn't exist. The memories don't exist.

Yes they do.

No they don't.

Yes they do.

No they don't.

YES THEY DO! SHUT UP VOICE IN NOTHINGNESS! SHUT UP! THE MEMORIES EXIST! SHAWN EXISTS!

…

…

…

…

No they don't.

* * *

?, ?, ?

Shawn… the thoughts in the nothingness… it! _It_ had no idea how long had passed. Sometimes it'd feel like months had past. Sometimes, it'd feel like only seconds had past. It had no idea when it was, where it was… not even who it was. It had constant debates with itself. About everything. it had debates about who was Shawn and who were the voices. It had debates on what was real and what was fake.

Did you hear that?

No, you dumb idiot. No one heard it. Well… I guess that means you did hear it then. Because, _you_ are no one.

No, I'm Shawn. I'm Shawn.

No you're not.

It had debates like that all the time. Sometimes _Shawn_ would hear something, but the thoughts would always discredit him. There was nothing there, after all. Shawn should know better by now. He had tried time and time again to cling on to anything that could keep him sane. But there was nothing there. There was never anything there.

Did you hear _that_?

For God's sake! _Nothing's _there!

Then what made the noise?

NOTHING!

Are you saying I imagined that?

Yes. I am. You've lost it.

No I haven't.

You're pretending to be Shawn.

I am Shawn.

Oh, that's right. And I'm Yin.

… Are you?

Not yet.

Then who are you?

I'm you.

No you're not. I'm Shawn you're… I don't know what you are.

I'm Yin.

So you're _not_ me?

I never said that.

How could you be Yin and Shawn at the same time? You're one or the other.

Not yet.

What? No. I'm not having this. You're confusing me right now. Leave me alone, would you?

Fine.

After all, you're just a voice. That's all you are. I'm Shawn. I'm a person, I have memories. I don't need you.

…

All you are is a voice in the darkness. I don't need you.

…

So you can just GO! I _don't_ need you.

…

Um… voice?

…

Where did you go?

…

No… nononono.

…

NO! Don't leave! No, I take it back! I take it all back! Don't go!

…

PLEASE! Voice in the nothingness… Yin… whatever! PLEASE don't go! You're all I have left!

Hmm…

Voice?

You actually _want_ me to stay?

Yes.

For me to stay… I need to show you something.

What?

It's called The Truth. If you want me to stay, you need to see it.

Ok. I'll see it.

You might not like what you see. And once you see it, you're stuck with me forever.

I don't care.

Ok. I'll show you.


	14. Stab

**Hello lovelys! OKAY! So, allow me to explain myself. This update is quite late for several reasons. **

**Number 1: most of you guys wanted to know what The Truth was. My original idea was that you don't find out what it is, because you haven't gone through what Shawn went through. But, because people wanted to know, I was trying to find a way to put it in. So, it took me a while to get it just right. **

**Number 2: I couldn't get it just right. I tried, but I liked my original idea too much. So I decided, screw it. It's my FanFic, I've had this plan for a while, I'll just keep it the way I wanted it to be originally.**

**Number 3: My parents sprung a surprise road trip on me and my brothers. So for the past hmm… week, maybe less, I've been on the road with no internet and my computer packed away at home. So I couldn't upload. I literally just got back home, and the first thing I'm doing is posting this chapter. So… yes. sorry about that.**

**Still not very fond of this chapter, I even found it a bit confusing. Let me know what you think! Next one will be better, I promise.**

**Please review! You have all been lovely with your reviews so far and it means so much to me! Please, keep them all coming! **

* * *

December 28th, 2010

The next time Shawn – at least, he thought he was Shawn – opened his eyes, he was enlightened with The Truth. He understood now. He understood everything. He understood Yin and Yang. He understood what he had to do. He understood everything. It all just made perfect sense to him. All of it. The only thing he was unsure about was… is he Shawn or the Voice in the Nothingness?

He opened his eyes and for the first time in forever, he could see. He could see the room he was locked in. He could see the chair he was sitting on. He could see the rope burns on his skin. He could see his hands move in front of him. Most of all though… he could _feel_ it. He could feel his hands touch each other. He could feel his hands rise into the air and he could feel his hands go through his hair. He took in a deep breath and… ahhh… he could _hear_ it! He could hear himself breath! Oh, how long he had waited for that to happen.

He stood up, and he could feel the weight on his feet. He could feel that beautiful weight! He could feel the pain run through his legs as for the first time in days, he took a step forwards. Then another. And another. He could hear his shoes go against the concrete floor as he took one step after the other. He could feel the weakness in his legs as they trembled under his weight. He could feel his lungs fill with air every time he took a breath. He could feel his heart beat within himself. He could feel it all again. He could hear it all again. He could see, he could smell, he could touch, and he was pretty sure he could taste.

He just kept walking through the room until he came across a door. He put his hand on the doorknob and smiled in delight as he felt the coldness of the metal touch his very delicate skin. He could feel the pressure in his hand as he twisted the door knob. He could hear that beautiful creek of the door as he pushed it open. When the door was open wide enough, he peered inside and could see a whole new scenery. There was a TV, a table and a knife. He almost couldn't believe it anymore.

He walked towards the TV and pushed the first button that his fingers came in contact with. Suddenly, the TV sprung to life. New colours emerged and there was an unusually loud sound that occupied the room. He didn't care though. He was just glad that he could hear something. He then made his way to the table, curious to feel the new texture. When he was standing right by the table, he noticed that his hand grabbed the knife instead. Curious, he held the open blade against his arm. He dug in deep and dragged the blade down. He immediately hissed in pain and slammed the knife back down on the table. Then, he smiled.

He felt that. He actually felt that. It hurt like a bitch, but he _felt it_! A lot of blood was coming out of the little cut, but he didn't mind. He just watched it flow, so happy to be seeing something other than nothingness. It didn't take long for the coppery smell to reach his nose. And that was just another happy sign. He could smell again. It wasn't the nicest smell in the world, but he didn't care. He could _smell_! A new idea popped into his head and he brought his bleeding arm to his mouth. He licked his arm and sucked up a bit of the blood, smiling as he did. He could taste it. It had been so long, but yes. He could taste again. So, he kept sucking, more and more, until he felt a bit sick and pulled away. He was feeling something else now. He was feeling sick. He couldn't help but smile.

He turned around to face the TV again. He wanted to focus on something new now. He wanted to focus on the colours that flashed on the screen. Soon, though, the words started to sink in.

"Tragedy strikes in motel. A run down motel on a street corner, last week, had burst into flames claiming four victims" the news reporter said. Suddenly, four images flashed up. He recognised them immediately. Pop, Lassie, Gus, Jules. They were memories of Shawn's. "The fire in the motel was luckily contained on the one floor, saving dozens of lives that day. However, these four people were not so lucky. Henry Spencer, Carlton Lassiter, Burton Guster and Juliet O'Hara all died in the fire. Reports now indicate that this fire wasn't just a simple accident-"

He stopped paying attention then. His loved ones were dead. His _family_… the one thing keeping him sane were dead. At this point, he knew for a fact that his memories were real. They were the one thing that distinguished him from the voice. The only thing that kept him sane and kept Shawn real were these memories, these people. If they're dead, then what the hell is he supposed to do now? He had fought so hard for Shawn, for his sanity, simply because he knew that these four people were always going to be there for him. But they're dead now. What is he supposed to fight for now?

At this point, Shawn and his memories were becoming more and more like a dream. It was easier that way. It was easier to pretend they were just a dream. Less painful.

"Tragic, isn't it?" a voice called out. He quickly turned around to see where this new sound was coming from. A man. He was wearing a long coat and Stetson. He was fairly tall, a bit taller than him, but not too much. He looked fairly old, but he assumed that with that came knowledge. The man must have been exposed to the same Truth as he was. "Hello" the man said.

"Hello what?" he asked.

"Excuse me?"

"Well, normally when people say hello to someone for the first time, they'll say 'Hello Shawn or 'Hello Yin'. You know, they'll say 'Hello' and then the person's name. So, what is it for you? Hello what?" he said. The man just smiled at him.

"Hello" the man said again.

He clenched his hands into fists. He was just so frustrated right now. He needed to know! He needed answers! Who was he? Was he Shawn or was he Yin? What about Shawn's memories? Are they real or are they fake? Was Shawn ever real? He needed to know these answers.

"I know your upset now" the man said. "But you'll see, in time you'll thank me."

"Thank you? For what?"

"For getting rid of your memories. It's a lot easier to do what you do when you don't have memories holding you back."

"What are you talking about?" The man pointed to the TV.

"Your memories. They're dead now. And that's the thing with memories, isn't it. if they're dead, if you're the only one who has them… how do you know if they're real or not? How do you know if your memories are real? You'll find it's quite easy to invent a memory. You're better off not knowing which ones are real and which ones are fake."

"Why would I thank _you_ exactly?" the man smiled.

"I'm the one who killed them."

"You… you what?"

"I. Killed. Them."

"You killed my family?"

"I blew them up. A big old BOOM! I think that did the trick."

"You killed them."

"And soon you'll thank me."

He grabbed hold of the knife again. "You killed them!" he yelled.

"You're welcome."

He couldn't contain his frustration anymore. With a scream, he tackled the man to the ground. He brought up the knife as high as he could and brought it down to the man's chest with all his force. He stared into the man's eyes. The man stared straight back at him, a smile on his face. He started to get pissed and brought the knife back up and stabbed again. The smile on the man started to fade away, and he liked it. He kept bringing up the knife again. He kept slamming it down into the man's chest.

Stab.

Stab.

Stab.

Over and over again. He brought the knife down into his chest, harder and harder. He wanted to make the man suffer. God knows that the man deserved it. The man had killed his family. The man had killed his sanity.

Stab.

Stab.

Stab.

He brought the knife down again, ignoring the blood that was pouring out and covering him. He just continued to stab. He wanted the man to be a bloody mess by the time he was done. He wanted the man to know that the man deserved this hell. He was so close to understanding who he was. He was so close to being reunited with his memories. So damn close.

And so, he put in one last stab before Shawn came out again.

Shawn stared at the bloody corpse in front of him. Shawn stared at his hands, one still curled around the knife in the man's chest. Shocked, Shawn pulled it out and placed the knife back on the table. He then walked away from the body and found himself leaning against a wall. He pressed his hands and head against it for a moment before turning around and leaning his back against the wall. He slid down until he was sitting on the floor. He put his head in his hands, not caring if he got some of the man's blood on his face. Shawn just couldn't believe what he had just done.

Shawn killed a man. He murdered the poor man. He stabbed him God knows how many times in the chest. And, worst of all, he enjoyed it. He enjoyed striking the body again and again. He enjoyed watching the smile fade away and the light in his eyes dim out. He enjoyed it. And Shawn hated himself for that. He kept thinking about the man he just killed. Kept thinking about how psychotic he must have been to kill him. Kept thinking about how awful a person he was. He couldn't bear it. Shawn thought back to his memories. Oh, if they could see him now… what would they say about him? They'd say he was psychotic. They'd say he was a murderer. They'd say he was crazy. They'd say-

"They'd say you were Yin" a new voice called out. Shawn looked up and saw a woman walk into the room. She walked towards him with purpose and confidence, a smile glued to her face. She knelt down in front of Shawn. "I know you're afraid right now, but don't be" she assured him. "This is all part of the process. You're just switching between the memories and the voice. Soon, you'll choose one or the other."

Shawn couldn't help but remember one conversation he had with The Voice.

"_How could you be Yin and Shawn at the same time? You're one or the other." "Not yet."_

Shawn couldn't help but briefly look at the knife on the table. He didn't know who this woman was or what she wanted. He didn't know if she'd turn him in for the murder or help him escape. Shawn wasn't entirely sure which one he preferred, really. All he knew was that without his memories, he was useless. He needed his memories. It was the only way for Shawn to function. But his memories were dead. All his memories were dead. With no memories, there was no Shawn.

"Who are you?" Shawn asked at last.

"That's not important right now" the woman answered.

Sirens started to echo in the distance. The woman stared at the direction of the sound before turning back to Shawn.

"You hear that? _That's _what's important right now. That's the police. They're here because of… well…" she stared at the dead body. Shawn reluctantly followed her gaze. "I plan on staying with you" the woman continued. "Whether you stay here and deal with the police or if you travel far away and deal with the truth. I'll stay with you." Shawn nodded his head, understanding that the decision was his. "Might I just say, though" the woman added in. "Prison doesn't sound like a fun place." Shawn managed to pull the smallest of smiles before seriously considering his choice. But Shawn was lost. Shawn was gone. And so, he followed the only advice that he could find.

Shawn nodded his head at the woman and stood up. He did was the woman said. He took off his shoes and raided the dead man's pockets until he found a set of keys. He walked out the back doors, quickly finding the white van that the keys belonged to. He climbed into the driver's seat, while the woman sat in the passenger's. They exchanged a brief smile before Shawn started heading for the open road.

He didn't know where he was going. Not yet. All he knew was that he couldn't deal with his dead memories anymore.

* * *

**If you still really insist on knowing what The Truth is, let me know. I'm a people pleaser in the end.**


	15. Denver

**Hello lovelys! So… wow… I suck. It's been a while, hasn't it? In my defence, I was hardly ever home this past week.**

**So the Truth will be revealed in the Epilogue. That's the only place it fits.**

**Things are getting more and more intense. This is a chapter that I've pictured in my head over and over again, so I just hope this is up to your liking. I personally am fairly fond of it.**

**So yes! Please review! All types of reviews are welcomed and very much adored here, so please just let me know what you thinking. Thanks for all the follows and favorites and reviews so far. Keep them coming, they mean so much to me.**

* * *

December 28th, 2010

Shawn didn't exactly know why he was going through with all this. He wasn't entirely sure why he was still behind the wheel of a van that wasn't his. He wasn't sure why he was listening to the woman who hadn't even told him her name. All he knew was that this was all that he had left. He had no more memories left, no more plans left, no life left. It was just him, the woman and The Truth. He didn't know who she was, but he knew she was the only one he could trust at this point. Well, she was the only one _there_ too, but that's beside the point.

Shawn listened to every order she demanded. She told him to turn at the end of the road, and he'd do it. She told him to pull out his wallet, and he did it. She told him drive faster, and he did it. He never questioned why and he never argued with her. He couldn't bear the thought of losing something else. He had already lost the voice that had comforted him in his days of nothingness. He had already lost all of Shawn's memories. The idea alone of losing this woman was death to him. He wouldn't have it. He couldn't. So he did everything he asked of her.

They had been driving in silence for an hour before Shawn dared to speak up.

"Where are we going?" he asked. It was a simple question, but he felt like he was putting so much on the line for just wondering it. The woman seemed friendly, though, and smiled at Shawn.

"Not too sure yet" the woman answered honestly. "We need to get away, though. We need to get out of California. We need to put as much distance between us and Santa Barbara as possible in the least amount of time possible."

"Why?"

"Because you're a wanted man. You stabbed the man in the warehouse. They're going to be after you now. I'm just trying to protect you."

"Won't they ask for ID at border control?"

"Come on, son" the woman said. Shawn instantly got a flashback to one of his dead memories, but chose to ignore it. It was too painful to think of what could have been. "You know you have an ID in your wallet that says your name is Burton Guster. Don't even try to deny it." The name was familiar to Shawn. He almost searched through his memories to find the source, but quickly stopped when he remembered that they were dead. Instead, he decided to focus on the question of how _she_ knew he had that ID. Not that he would ask. He was too afraid she'd leave.

"Okay. So we've solved that problem" Shawn said. "Now, where are we going?"

"Don't know. Where do _you_ want to go?" Shawn thought about it for a minute.

"Vegas?" The woman laughed out loud at him.

"Vegas! Are you kidding? That's not _nearly_ enough distance!"

"Well, what do you suggest?"

"I was thinking more like Washington. Or… Ohio. Oh! I got it! Minnesota!"

"Minnesota?"

"Yeah!"

"Why Minnesota?" The woman shrugged.

"Why not?"

"Because it's so far away."

"So what? It's not like you've got any family here you'd need to visit." Shawn thought about that for a moment.

"Fine. I'll drive to the airport."

"Woah, woah, woah… what? The _airport_?"

"Yes. You want to go to Minnesota, don't you?"

"Yes, of course I do. But you don't honestly think we can get on board a plane, do you? They'll be looking out for you in airports. They'll have your picture sent across the states, all over airports. You'll be caught within the hour if we go by plane. We'll have to drive. This way you can use your Burton Guster ID. Crossing borders is easy when you're an American citizen. Getting on a plane is difficult. We're driving."

"We're not driving" Shawn said, for the first time disagreeing with the woman. "It's more than a full day worth of driving. There's no way I'm going to drive for thirty hours straight."

"You wouldn't be! Of course not. We'll stop somewhere in between, spend the night in a cheap hotel. No problem."

"I don't know…"

"I'm not going to force you into it" the woman said, a frown forming on her face as she looked out the window, a sad expression in her eyes. Shawn was almost certain she was going to start crying. "It's just… I've never been there before." Shawn thought about that for a second.

"Neither have I" he said, before he thought about what he just said. "At least, I don't think I have…"

"It would have been a nice experience. Too bad…"

"Alright. Alright, fine. We'll stop in between."

"YAY! We're going to Minnesota! Oh, this is going to be amazing! ROAD TRIP! Oh, I'm so excited!"

* * *

December 29th, 2010

It was one o'clock in the morning. Shawn and the woman had spent the last 14 hours in a car. Shawn had gotten no sleep and was pumped up on all the energy drinks he had bought when he filled the car up with gas. He wanted to sleep, but quickly found that he couldn't. Too much caffeine tended to do that to a person. Shawn had wanted to stop earlier, but the woman kept insisting that they weren't half way there yet. She would only accept a place as reasonable to stop at if they were past the halfway point. So, as soon as Shawn past it, he begged for them to have a break, get some food and pass out on a bed. The woman reluctantly agreed, and that was what brought them to this crummy hotel in Denver, Colorado, of all places.

Shawn was inside their room, on one of the two single beds. The woman, on the other hand, had retreated outside into the fresh air to spend some time to stretch her legs. The concierge of the hotel had given Shawn a look when he asked for two beds, but Shawn just assumed that was because he thought they were partners. Which, he supposed, was true to a certain degree. They were partners, just not quite in the way one might think. They were partners in The Truth. They had to work together to carry it out. If not them, then who?

Shawn just stared up at the ceiling, deep in thought. He could think of only one thing. His memories. Juliet, the woman he truly believed he would spend the rest of his life with. Gus, his oldest friend. Henry, the father with unusual ways to show he cared. Carlton, the head detective with a stick up his ass and a well hidden soft spot for the psychic. Those four people were easily the most important people in Shawn's entire life. And now they're gone. What in the hell was he supposed to do? Simply thinking of their names was like someone was slowly ripping his heart out. He didn't even dare to think about actual events that involved them. He didn't dare think of any good or bad moments he had with these people. They were just too painful.

And that's when what the man said started to make sense.

"_It's a lot easier to do what you do when you don't have memories holding you back."_

Right now, the only thing that was keeping him away from his duty to the truth was the horrible pain in his chest. The guilt, the sorrow, the pain that came with losing his loved ones. It was definitely easier if he didn't have those memories. It would be so much easier if he never had those memories to begin with. If they never existed, he wouldn't be in this much pain. He wouldn't be this heart broken. He wouldn't be this useless, cooped up in a crummy hotel room waiting for the heartache to die down. If only he didn't have those memories. The memory that only reminded him of how he lost everything. They're all dead.

"_They're dead now. And that's the thing with memories, isn't it. If they're dead, if you're the only one who has them… how do you know if they're real or not? How do you know if your memories are real? You'll find it's quite easy to invent a memory. You're better off not knowing which ones are real and which ones are fake."_

That was what the man had said. And it was true. Oh, it was so, so true. This was so much easier. It would be so much easier if he just became the voice in his head. The voice that kept him company during his days of nothingness, the voice who insisted the memories never existed in the first place. It would be so much easier, and so much less painful if Shawn could just become the voice. Become – what did it call itself? – Yin! It would be so much better for Shawn if he just… changed.

With a groan, Shawn sat up on his bed and reached for the remote of the TV. He was fed up with constantly thinking of what he lost and was in desperate need of a distraction. Sure, he had come up with a solution for his pain and misery, but it would take days, weeks for it to actually take effect. Maybe he would talk to the woman about it. Maybe she could help. but for now, a distraction was very much needed. Any distraction.

So Shawn flipped through the various channels, only staying on one long enough for an image to appear. He kept changing channel, constantly flipping through and not caring about a word or thought that each channel said. He noticed everything that there was to notice the second the image came up and found he was bored, or reminded of everyone he lost. So there he was, sitting on an uncomfortable mattress , flipping through horrible TV. Oh the joys of being Shawn.

He was just about to give up on his attempt at a distraction, when his own image popped up on the screen.

"Shawn Spencer, a Psychic Consultant for the Santa Barbara Police Department, has fled the city after having stabbed local college professor Karl Rotmensen twenty three times in the chest" the news reporter said on the screen. "The police have issued an APB on the suspect and is considered to be highly dangerous. If you see this man, do not approach him, contact your local police. Chief Karen Vick had no comment on the situation, and friends and family have no idea where the Psychic could be-"

"I'm back" the woman called as she walked into the hotel room. Shawn quickly shut off the TV, still absorbed in what he had just heard. "What's up with you, you look like you saw a ghost" The woman said, a teasing smile on her face.

"Nothing" Shawn managed to say. "You just surprised me, that's all." the woman shrugged at him, feeling that was an acceptable answer. She then made her way to the bathroom to do whatever it was that women do in there. Shawn didn't feel like guessing at this point. He was too absorbed by what he had heard.

It wasn't the APB put out on him that shocked him. It wasn't the dead body that left him speechless. It wasn't Chief Vick that surprised him. It was what the reporter said. _"Friends and family have no idea where the Psychic could be"_. Friends and family. The reporter had said "friends and family". That was what has truly and completely amazed Shawn. Because, after all, as far as Shawn knew, the only friends and family he had were dead. The only people he truly considered friends and family were gone. So, who the hell was the reporter referring to? Who could be the friends and family that Shawn didn't know he had?

And that was when he finally pieced it together.

Oh, he knew how dangerous it was to get his hopes up. He knew the terrible cost there was if he was wrong about this. He knew how much despair he would be in if it turned out to be all in his head. He knew that he would most likely never recover if it didn't turn out the way he hoped. He knew all this, but he didn't care. Because what if it were true?

That beautiful question. What if? What if he was right? What if the most important people in his life were alive? What if they were still looking for him, despite what he had done? What if they were just as desperate to find him as he was to find them? What if?

Shawn clung to that beautiful question as if his life depended on it. He clung on to the hope that everything good in his life was still there. He held his hope close to his heart, and he let the feeling fill him up and take over every thought he had. If they were alive, Shawn would be the happiest man in the world. He would leave The Truth in an instant, reject it the second he saw them alive. He would strive time and time again to protect them and keep them alive. He would do whatever anyone ever asked of him, if only they were alive. And surely, they must be. They have to be.

Shawn quickly stood up from the bed and started searching for his wallet. He needed to get back to Santa Barbara. He didn't care if he was absolutely exhausted. He didn't care if he'd have to spend a fortune on gas for the way back. He didn't care if the woman came with him or not. He just _needed_ to get back to Santa Barbara. He needed to make sure he was right about this.

"What the hell are you doing?" the woman asked, walking out of the bathroom.

"I need to go back home" Shawn answered.

"Excuse me?"

"Santa Barbara. I'm going, and I'm going now. You can either come with me or carry on, I don't care. I'm just going to do what I got to do. You do what you gotta do."

"Why the _hell_ are you going back there? You killed a man! You murdered him! You _over_killed him! Why would you even _think_ about going back?!"

"Because I think my friends and dad are still alive." The woman's eyes widened just a bit, hardly noticeable at all, and Shawn tried to ignore it. "They mean the world to me, and if there's even the slightest chance that they're alive, I have to check it out."

"They're dead!" the woman shrieked. "They're long gone. Dead. The sooner you accept that, the easier your life will be! Now stop living in a fantasy and sit down!" Shawn paused for a second, taking in the woman's reaction.

"They're alive, aren't they?" Shawn asked. The woman just stared at him with wide eyes. "You knew. You've known from the start… haven't you?" the woman continued to stare, searching desperately for an answer.

"What does it matter if they're alive?! You see The Truth! You know what we have to do! Some silly fantasy is only going to hold you back. You saw the report of their death. You have irrefutable proof that they're _dead_! I _refuse_ to allow you to go back to Santa Barbara, only to get your heart broken by their death for the second time today!"

"What, so you except me to follow you blindly to whatever state you feel like going to? Why the hell am I supposed to trust you?"

"Because I know what you know. I've seen The Truth. I'm the only one who understands what you're going through right now! I'm all you've got left! You're just going to have to trust me."

"Trust you? How could I trust you when I don't even know your name?" the woman was quiet. "You haven't told me shit since you found me. I've asked questions and you shut me out. Now, I find out my family could be alive, and you expect me to put that on hold and follow you to some weird ass place?"

"Niymi. That's my name. Now will you put this stupid idea of yours to rest and settle down?!"

"A name doesn't answer everything! It sure as hell doesn't answer the most important question of my life! Are my friends and family alive?!" Niymi glared at Shawn as hard as she could, hating the situation she was put in. She took a deep breath to calm herself before she spoke again.

"You have a choice to make. You can either carry on with our plan, with me by your side to protect you. We will carry out The Truth and do what we were made to do. Or, you can turn around. You can turn around and face every single thing you've been running from. You can turn around and face the man that you killed, face the graves of your dead friends, face the consequences of every little thing you did in a little white room surrounded by guards. But I'm not going with you. The choice is yours."

Shawn stared at her for a long time, debating his choices thoroughly. Finally, he decided.

"You're right" he said quietly. "Of course you're right. We'll move on tomorrow. I'm sorry. I was being stupid." Niymi nodded once.

"It's okay. That's what I'm here for, to keep you on the right track." Shawn nodded and sat down on the edge of his bed. Niymi started to make her way past Shawn towards her own bed.

Shawn quickly stood up, grabbed one of the trays sitting on the tables, and swung with all his might at the back of Niymi's head. The force of the blow immediately knocked her out and she crumbled to the ground. Shawn held her from under her arms and started to drag her out the doors. He had made his decision, alright. He had made it from the second he heard the news report. But it only took one look at her face during the argument for Shawn to understand she would never actually let him go. That's why he had to do this.

So he continued dragging her unconscious body outside the room all the way to the parking garage where he quickly found the van they had arrived in. He threw her body into the back of the van and tied her wrists with the rope left behind, just in case she woke up while he was driving. He then prayed to all the Gods that nobody noticed what he was doing. He hoped with all his heart that there were no cameras to catch him. Then, he made his way to the front desk to check out. It was late at night, and it took a lot of talking, but Shawn managed to talk the hotel manager into letting him check out. He quickly handed over his ID and room key, and then ran off towards his van.

And through all this fuss, he never noticed that he had given his real ID, not his Burton Guster fake. So the hotel manager called the local authorities, knowing it was the right thing to do.


	16. 4 Mins to save the world 30 to save Shaw

**Hello lovelys! So I basically just wanted to update before I go to Uni. Once I move in, it might take a little while to get started again.**

**For all you Truth seekers, there is half of it in this chapter. It gets explained more in later chapters, but the gist of it is in this chapter.**

**Just a heads up, this is possibly the cruelest cliffhanger I have ever come up with in my entire life. It is truly awful, and I apologize. But I don't take it back.**

**I'm sorry these updates are taking a little longer than usual, but it takes a lot to fully plan it and then get it all down and to my liking. But, five more chapters (including this one and epilogue) and it's over! Wow…**

**Anyways, please review! You've all been lovely with it, so keep them coming! Reviews, follows, favorites! You're all lovely!**

* * *

December 29th, 2010

Shawn was in the van, driving as fast as he dared to go. He broke several speed limits and was probably driving more irresponsibly than an Italian in the country side. He had lost count of the amount of cars that honked at him. But at this point, he didn't care. He needed to get back to Santa Barbara, and he needed to get back now.

He drove quickly and nervously, not fully caring how many cameras went off as he drove. He just hoped that no cops would stop him. He just hoped Niymi wouldn't wake up as he drove. He just hoped that there would be no problems at border control, that his fake ID would be enough to grant him entrance, as it had only the day before.

He drove quickly and dangerously, always wondering about being caught. After all, he did kill a man. He was wanted, his picture was sent around the country. People know what he looks like, and he very badly didn't want to be caught. Not until he knew for sure whether or not his friends were alive. He would gladly go to jail and face whatever charge he had, he would gladly deal with all the consequences if it meant they were alive. That was all he wanted.

But then, his pessimistic side would come out. That little doubt that would make itself known. What if they were dead? What if the TV, the man he killed _and_ Niymi were all right? What if Shawn was wrong? How would he recover from this? He was building his hopes up so high, completely ignoring the chance that they would come crashing down. Every time those horrible thoughts would come up, Shawn would shake his head (usually causing the van to swerve, just a bit) and force himself to think of how great his life would be with them in it.

He was only two hours away from California when he heard her. A muffled yell of protest followed by a fairly loud bang as Niymi started to kick around in the back.

"Crap…" Shawn mumbled, but carried on. After all, what else could he do but drive on and pray she would quiet down?

* * *

Somehow, by some miracle, things were going Shawn's way. After the little incident with Niymi in the back, she had quieted down. As he was crossing the final border, Shawn could faintly hear her small moans, but he appeared to be the only one. The police officers checking his ID simply smiled and waved him through. As Shawn was driving into his home state, he couldn't help but laugh. He made it through. Things were going his way

Only an hour and twenty minutes later, Shawn was at his home. He sat in the van, staring at it for a moment. It had been a whole week since he had even thought about how it looked like, and now, here he was. He couldn't help but go back to before all this craziness had started. Back when he was ignorant to The Truth. Back when he knew for a fact that everyone he cared about was safe and sound in their own homes. He would give anything to go back to that. He would give anything to open his doors and find Juliet sitting on his couch, waiting to surprise him after a long day. Instead, all he had was a tied up woman in the back of a van that wasn't his.

Oh, how times have changed for the worst.

With a sigh and a brief moment of depression, Shawn pushed open the driver's door and made his way to the back. He opened the back of the van and stared at Niymi. She was sitting down, still tied up. She was glaring at Shawn, but she was silent. To Shawn, it seemed like she had come to terms with what he was doing. Shawn thought this meant she was finally letting Shawn do what he wanted to do. So, under the impression that she had changed, Shawn walked over to her and at long last untied her.

As soon as he did, she charged at him. She knocked him down with ease and was starting to make a break for it. Shawn didn't know where she intended on going, but he knew it couldn't be good for him. Maybe she'd go to the police, turn him in or something along those lines. Maybe she'd find his friends and threaten them. Maybe he'd ruin what little happiness he could have found in his hometown. He didn't know but he wouldn't allow any of it to happen. Shawn quickly stood back up and chased after her, not quite sure what he would do when he caught up with her.

When he was close enough, he tackled her to the floor and managed to pin her down. He could see that she was about to scream, about to call for help. He knew people would come, people would see what was happening and they would call the police. He would get caught and he would go to jail. There was no way that was happening. Not now. Not when he was so damn _close_! So he did the only thing he could think of doing. Without even a moment's hesitation, he wrapped his hands around her throat and squeezed as hard as he could.

Not a sound left her lips. Not a breath entered her lungs.

She started to grab at Shawn's hands, desperately trying to pry his hands off her throat. It didn't take long for her to realise her attempts were futile. Shawn was too strong and far too determined. She kept trying, doing everything she could. She scratched at his hands, pushed him as hard as she could and even started to helplessly kick around. It didn't take long for her vision to start to blur and her strength to fade. With one last useless attempt, she pushed at Shawn's chest before her hand fell limply to her side. Her eyelids drooped closed and she surrendered to unconsciousness.

Shawn let go of her throat and waited just a couple seconds to be sure she wouldn't get up and start to run again. He double checked that she was truly unconscious before he slid his arms under her limp body and picked her up. He carried her back to his apartment, already mentally preparing his story for this very unusual situation, should he run into anyone curious enough to ask. Luckily for him, there was no one, and he made it to his place without any other complications from his plan.

The first thing he did when he finally made it inside was place Niymi by the radiator and search for essentials. This included a pair of handcuffs and a gun (both which Shawn legally owned). He cuffed Niymi to the radiator and walked to his landline. When he looked back at the woman cuffed to his radiator, he had to laugh at the thought that this was probably the only technically legal thing he had done in a week. Shaking his head, he dialled the familiar number of the Santa Barbara Police Station.

It only rang twice before the familiar voice answered; 'Chief Vick'.

"Chief, it's Shawn. I'm at my house" he said into the phone.

'Mr. Spencer? What are you-"

"No time to explain. I'm at my house for now, but in half an hour I'll be gone. You have until then to send Carlton Lassiter to me. If you send anyone other than Lassiter, I'm gone. Half an hour." And with that, he hung up the phone and unplugged it, refusing to deal with anyone who tried to call again. He then sat down and waited for Lassiter to arrive, still holding his gun tightly in his hand.

* * *

Time was almost up when Niymi started to wake up again. Her eyes fluttered open and she took in her surroundings in a daze. She tried to get up, but quickly realized she was handcuffed. She looked around again, searching for her captor. It didn't take long for her eyes to land on Shawn. She glared at him for half a minute, but to Shawn's surprise, she didn't scream. She didn't try to call for help, and she certainly didn't scream. She just sat there and glared. If there was ever a time when she truly understood how helpless she was, it was now.

"Sorry about choking you" Shawn said at last. "You were going to scream." That was his brilliant explanation.

"Well, that was logical way to respond" she retorted.

"I have to do this. I have to know for sure if they're alive or not. I can't just blindly trust you" he admitted at last. "I need to know for myself. I need to see it with my own eyes."

"Everything I did was to protect you. I've been trying to keep you away from this place so you wouldn't have to deal with their deaths. But you refuse to listen. So fine." Her glare never left Shawn. "Go ahead. Get your heart shattered to bits. See if I care."

"don't take it personally. I would never forgive myself if I wasn't one hundred per cent sure of the details. And… this is a pretty big detail. I have to check."

"Tell me, Shawny. What exactly is your plan here? Are you just going to walk into the SBPD? Get yourself arrested? Please, talk me through this."

"I need to know if they're dead."

"And how is hiding out in your apartment going to prove that?"

"I asked them to send Lassiter here" Shawn said, as if that answered all her questions.

"How does that prove anything?"

"If he comes, then I know he's alive. If he's alive, then there's a good chance the others are alive too. If he doesn't come, then he's dead. And all the others are dead too. And if that's the case, I'll take off your handcuffs and we can go to whatever ridiculous place you have planned."

"Why Lassiter? Of all the people you could have asked for, why him?"

"Well… for several reasons. For one thing, he's the only one who would be completely honest with me. If he's alive, if he comes, and I ask him about the others… he's the only one I trust would tell me the truth. There's also the fact that Lassiter is probably the only person that _could_ come."

"What do you mean by that?"

"Think about it. If I asked for my dad, do you really think the chief would allow him to go? He has way too much conflict of interest in this. He wouldn't come, and I'd assume he was dead. If I ask for Gus, they probably wouldn't let him go either because he's a civilian. I couldn't ask for them."

"…What about Jules?" Shawn stared at Niymi for a second. No one called her that. Only he did. He shook it off and continued to explain.

"I don't think I would be able to handle it if I asked for her and she didn't show up. That's just… too much to take in at one time. I can't lose her. I can't…"

"How long ago did you ask for Lassiter?" Shawn looked at his watch.

"Twenty eight minutes ago."

"And you gave them half an hour?"

"Yep."

"Shawn, you do know he's not coming, right? He is physically incapable of coming. You can't expect the dead to make it to an appointment like this. He's dead. They're all dead. It's what I've been trying to tell you from the start, but you're so damn stubborn you refuse to listen to me. They're _dead_, Shawn. They're not coming back and no matter how much you keep… _pretending_ there's a chance, it doesn't change anything. They're _dead_." Shawn just shook his head, so Niymi continued. "I know it hurts now, but we can make it go away. We have to focus on what we know. We have to focus on The Truth. They're dead. No amount of wishful thinking can change that."

At this point, she was finally reaching Shawn. He was starting to believe every word she was saying again. And it hurt so much to realise how wrong he was.

"…I was so sure…" Shawn croaked. "I was so _very_ sure…"

Niymi grinned, knowing she had won. But when Shawn made no effort to stand up or unlock her, she started to get worried. It was then that she noticed the gun in his hand.

"Shawn… what are you planning to do with that?" she asked, a new panic starting to rise up.

"… I don't know…"

"Listen to me, Shawny. Listen. They're dead, but that doesn't mean you have to die too! We have a mission to carry out! We have things to do! I can't do this without you, okay? I need you. You can't just go killing yourself!" Shawn stared at his watch once again. Thirty two minutes. He looked down at the gun in his hands, and before he even knew what was happening, he was in tears.

"Everybody dies, huh?" Shawn asked. "Including us." He cocked the gun back and held it to his head.

"No. Shawny, listen to me, don't you dare. Don't do this-"

"Everybody dies, Niymi!" Shawn yelled.

"Shawn, don't do this-!"

"We all have our time-"

"There is still so much-"

"-We all have our place-"

"-we have to do! There is still-"

"-So maybe this is _my_ time!"

"- our mission! We're-"

"Isn't this what we-"

"-partners! We work together-"

"-spend our whole lives trying to reach?"

"-and I need you!"

Silence filled the room.

"Shawn, put down the gun." Shawn just stared at her. "I can't do this without you."

"And I can't do this without _them_."

So Shawn finally decided. He closed his eyes tightly, and let out a deep breath – "No, Shawn" – he let the memories of the ones he loved fill him up once again. The good memories, the bad – "Shawn, don't you dare!" – memories. All of them. They were all he had left – "Listen to me! Please!" – and he would cherish them all until his last breath. He knew everybody dies, he had finally – "I'll _die_ without you, Shawn!" – accepted it. It was true, after all. They're all dead, and he – "_Please_, think about what you're doing!" – accepted that. But he also accepted that he couldn't live without them.

So he started to pull the trigger.

And then, there was a knock on the front door.


	17. To Be(lieve) or Not To Be(lieve)

**Hello lovelys! First week of Uni done. My thoughts? Not very fond of my roommate… Hmm… this is going to be an interesting year.**

**So anyways, while I was desperately trying to avoid my roommate, I pulled up my computer and started to type away, giving you a fairly decent lengthed chapter. That's a lie, it's kinda short. I've had this part of the FanFic planned out for ages now. Actually, I think I had this scene planned out before I even knew how I was going to begin, end or write this. So yeah. Enjoy.**

**Hope you like the twist in this chapter.**

**Please review! I love all types of reviews, the good, the bad (the sympathy and advice for dealing with new roommates if you've been in this situation…). So yeah! Please review!**

* * *

December 29th, 2010

_They're all dead, and he – "Please, think about what you're doing!" – accepted that. But he also accepted that he couldn't live without them. _

_So he started to pull the trigger._

_And then, there was a knock on the front door._

Shawn's eyes flew open and he let in a quick gasp. He loosened his grip on his gun just a little bit, enough to keep his finger away from the trigger. He glanced at the door anxiously, his heart racing more than it ever had before. His mouth was dry and his breaths were quick. He didn't dare move a single muscle, irrationally afraid that if he moved the knock would cease to exist. If this was who he thought it was, his life was saved. He would be the happiest man on Earth. This is all he wants, all he ever wanted. Them to be alive.

So with a dry throat and a raspy voice that sounded like he hadn't spoken for weeks, Shawn called out; "Who's there?" He almost didn't want to hear the answer. He was so sure he was wrong again. He didn't want the disappointment to overtake him again. He had already had enough heart wrenching disappointment for one day. Hell, he's had enough for one life time. He didn't need another.

"What the hell do you mean, 'Who's there'? "A voice from outside asked. "Who the hell do you think it is? You asked for me to come here, now let me in!" Shawn could have jumped for joy when he recognised that voice.

"Lassie?" Shawn asked.

"No, it's the tooth fairy. I'm here to collect the teeth I'm about to knock in if you don't open the door." Shawn didn't say anything. "Of course it's Lassiter!"

Shawn finally lowered his gun and looked at Niymi. She was glaring at the door with all the hate and anger in the world. If looks could kill (or in this case, blow things up) that would be the one to do it. Shawn, however, was not at all intimidated by her look. Just offended,

"You knew" Shawn stated. Niymi just looked at him. "You knew and you were just going to let me pull the trigger?" No answer. Shawn just shook his head at her. "You're crazy. You are out of your mind. When we get out of here, we'll get you help."

"I'm not the one who needs it" she said. Shawn was about to ask what she meant by that, when Lassiter's voice reminded him of a more important issue.

"Spencer, are you going to let me in or not?" Lassiter asked.

"Are you alone?" Shawn asked. Lassiter hesitated on the other side of the door.

"Yes. You asked for me to come alone, so I did."

"Well that's stupid" Shawn said, the gun in his hand suddenly very heavy. "I could have a gun in here for all you know. I could be waiting to shoot you for all you know. Why in the hell would you come alone?"

"I never said I wasn't armed."

"Well, it's you, Lassie. I kind of figured you'd be armed. No need to brag about it." Silence filled the apartment again and Shawn was left to think about the conversation they just had. Really think about it. He hadn't felt this much like his old self since… well, since he _was_ the old him. Just seeing one person he cared about reminded him of the older, better times. Just having this one person alive made him feel so much better, gave him something to really fight for.

"Spencer? You still there?" Lassiter asked. The silence was worrying him. Shawn ignored his question and asked one of his own.

"Where's Jules?" Lassiter hesitated again before responding.

"Not here." Paranoia filled Shawn. Was Lassiter the only survivor? Was he just not telling him that the others died? Was he wrong to assume Lassiter would tell him the truth?

"Yes, I figured" Shawn said, the panic clear in his voice. "So where is she?"

"Spencer-"

"What about Gus?!" Shawn started yelling. He wasn't sure why. The worry was getting to him again. The fear that they were dead all along was starting to reach him again. He didn't want to go through the pain again. He couldn't. "What about my dad?! Where are they?!"

"Spencer! Would you just calm down and listen to me?! They're at the station. I promise." Shawn didn't say anything, but he was starting to calm down.

"He didn't say they were alive, though" Niymi commented from where she sat. Shawn turned to look at her. "He just said they were at the station. Think about it. What else does the Santa Barbara Police Station have?"

"The morgue…" Shawn said out loud.

"What?" Lassiter asked, only barely hearing Shawn.

"They're in the _morgue_?!" Shawn yelled at the door.

"Spencer-"

"Oh my God!" Shawn cried out, starting to hyperventilate.

"Spencer, would you just-"

"They're dead… oh my God… "

"Listen to me, Spencer! Don't just jump to conclusions!"

"OhmyGod, ohmyGod, ohmyGod!"

"I never said they were dead! They're alive! I promise you, Shawn! They're ALIVE!" Shawn stopped his panicked rants. He tried to take deep breaths, but found he could only manage quick shallow ones.

"He's _so_ lying" Niymi said.

"I _promise_" Lassiter said again.

"Liar…" Niymi said again.

"Why should I trust you?" Shawn asked both of them. Niymi just glared, whereas Carlton actually gave a response.

"Are you serious, Spencer? I've known you for, what, five years? I've saved your life countless times. Are you seriously asking me to explain why you should trust me?"

Shawn kept glancing between the woman cuffed to the radiator, and the man outside his door. He was so lost. He didn't know who to believe. Oh, he knew who he _wanted_ to believe, but that's a completely different story. You can't just wish something to be true. It either is or it isn't. So it's all just a matter of who to believe. And Shawn just wasn't sure.

"Fine" Lassiter said. "I'll _give_ you a reason to trust me. I'll tell you the truth." Shawn's heart stopped for just a second. The truth? What truth? "I wasn't being completely honest with you before. I am by _no means_ alone, right now. I've got four officers standing right beside me. Each of them are wearing bulletproof vests and are heavily armed. Outside, we've got an additional three squad cars, each filled with three officers each. Each of those officers have bulletproof vests and are all heavily armed. We've already vacated most of the building. As much as we could do with the small amount of time you gave us. And then, on the building across the street from you, we have two snipers. They won't take the shot unless I tell them to. Go ahead and look outside your window if you don't believe me."

Shawn stared at the door before making his way to the window. He pulled open the blinds, just a little bit. He stared down to the base of the building. Sure enough, there was a crowd of people standing around, looking scared. There were three squad cars there, just like Lassiter had said, plus more uniformed officers just waiting around. Shawn looked up to the building across the street from him and only just noticed the snipers. Lassiter was telling the truth about all that. The gun in his hand instantly looked useless, and so he put it down on the kitchen counter.

"Wow… you guys really went all out" Shawn said softly. Lassiter still easily heard him, even through the door.

"And there's a very simple reason for that. It's the same reason that O'Hara, Guster and your father are at the station. It's because you're considered _very dangerous_, at the moment. We don't know what you're capable of doing right now, but we're prepared for the worst. Should it come to it, we're not sure if the other three would be able to follow through with it. They're far too emotionally invested. And if I'm honest… I am too. I don't want to have to shoot you, Spencer."

Shawn waited a moment. He wanted to believe him so much. He was so ready to jump blindly with Carlton simply because he promised they were alive. But Shawn wouldn't be able to live with it if it turned out he was lying. He wouldn't _want_ to live if it turned out Lassiter was tricking him to come into the station. It was possibly the biggest risk Shawn would ever take, and he wanted to be sure.

"You'll probably want to shoot me for this…" Shawn said and he unlocked the front door. Lassiter quickly braced himself, his hand flying towards his gun, ready for anything. The front door burst open and Shawn flung himself at Lassiter, holding him in the tightest hug he could ever manage, not even caring how mad Lassiter was or what the other officers might think. He was just so damn happy that Lassiter was alive. It took a small moment for Lassiter to recover from the shock of the hug, but eventually, he actually hugged Shawn back. And Shawn allowed himself to finally cry in pure and complete relief.

They were alive. This nightmare was finally over. Well… almost over. Shawn pulled himself away from Lassiter, ready to explain the awkward situation behind him.

"The woman, Lassie. The woman cuffed to the radiator. She's _completely_ crazy. She's… mental…" Shawn said. Lassiter looked at Shawn, then peered in through the open door and looked at Shawn again, the worry clear on his face.

"Spencer… no one's cuffed to the radiator…"


	18. Let Him Have This Moment

**Hello lovelys! This is so late. Almost a week late. I'll try to update regularly on Tuesdays, but I'm always late. Sorry. **

**After this, only two chapters left (including epilogue). It's crazy. This has been lovely, everyone. Thanks so much for your continued reviews and all your favorites and follows. Even all you lurkers, thanks for reading, and I hope you enjoyed reading it as much as I have enjoyed writing it (just, you know, if you wanna drop a little review… always appreciated).**

**(Also, I've been on this site for a couple years now, and I still don't really know what a Beta Reader is or if I should get one. (Do you just get one? I don't know. How does it work?) Anyone want to… fill me in? Thanks!)**

**Please review! All types of reviews are love here. The good, the criticisms, the corrections. Let me know what you think! Please review!**

* * *

December 29th, 2010

"_Spencer… no one's cuffed to the radiator…"_

Over and over, in his head, repeating itself like a broken record. It was like that one single statement was constantly taunting Shawn, over and over again. No one there. No one cuffed to the radiator. No woman. Shawn had imagined the whole thing. All the officers and even Lassiter were constantly throwing him worried glances. After all, he said there was someone cuffed to the radiator.

"_Spencer… no one's cuffed to the radiator…"_

He had made her up. Why, he didn't quite know for sure yet. He had imagined her. He thought that there was someone pushing him onwards. He thought that there was someone there who made him feel like he wasn't all alone. He thought he had someone he could trust and fall on through this whole ordeal. He thought he had someone who was on his side. But he had imagined her.

"_Spencer… no one's cuffed to the radiator…"_

Over and over again! Taunting him, reminding him again and again that he was all alone. There was no one like him, no one who understood what he was going through. No one. He was all alone. Lassiter kept telling that everything was going to be fine, that they would get him help, that he wasn't a complete nutter. Shawn assumed that this was Lassiter's own way of trying to be comforting. Or reassuring. He didn't think Lassiter had very much practice with this sort of thing. And even if he did, what could you say to someone who was in Shawn's position?

"_Spencer… no one's cuffed to the radiator…"_

And looking back at it, looking at everything he went through with Niymi – no, he shouldn't call her that. She doesn't exist. Looking at everything he went through with the hallucination, it all made sense. Everything that he thought was weird about her made sense. The way she didn't really seem to have a name when they first met. The way she would always insist that Shawn drove everywhere. The fact that none of the border control guards ever asked _her_ for ID. The way the hotel manager in Denver looked at Shawn when he asked for two beds. The fact that the border control guards on the way back didn't hear her banging on the side of the van. The fact that no one saw Shawn tackle and strangle her until she passed out. She called her Jules, she called him Lassie, she said 'Come on, Son!' on their first day together. It all made sense. She was never there to begin with. She was in Shawn's head.

"_Spencer… no one's cuffed to the radiator…"_

"Would you just stop already?!" Shawn yelled out at last. Lassiter stared at him with his eyebrows raised.

"Stop… what?" he asked. Shawn, realising he had just screamed that out loud, quickly try to cover up his mistake. He wanted to at least _appear_ as if he was completely sane and not seeing some imaginary woman in the backseat of the Ford Fusion.

"Stop… looking at me like that. I'm not going to do anything." Lassiter blinked twice before looking back at the road.

"Sorry" he muttered. "But you can't expect me to just act like you haven't been missing for week. And you can't expect me not to be worried about what you said at your apartment."

Of course Shawn knew what he was talking about. After Lassiter had dropped the bombshell on him (_"Spencer… no one's cuffed to the radiator"_) Shawn had just shut down. He didn't say a word, even when Lassiter and others kept asking him questions. He just let them lead him towards Lassiter's car. He let them push him in and buckle him up. He didn't know where they were taking him, but he didn't really care. They didn't cuff him, and they didn't read him any rights, so he assumed they weren't just going to lock him up or something like that.

"Where are we going, anyways?" Shawn asked.

"To the station" Lassiter answered. Shawn started to get worried.

"Oooh…" Niymi called out from the back seat. "You're in trouble now! They're taking you to the big house. You be careful in there, Shawn. Don't drop the soap."

Shawn had clenched up his hands into fists and was fighting every urge to look back at Niymi and argue with her. Lassiter seemed to notice Shawn's struggles and his panicking going on right next to him.

"Relax, Spencer" Lassiter said. "You're not under arrest or anything. We just need to ask you a couple questions about what happened." Shawn's eyes widened and his breathing quickened. Lassiter glanced at him, confused. "What? It's protocol, Shawn. You've been missing for a week and we finally found you. ."

"You put an APB out on me."

"Yeah… we may have overreacted with that. We thought you had left the state and were going to continue the Yin-Yang legacy, or something like that. We didn't think you'd stay here." Shawn hesitated a moment, before deciding if he ever wanted to deal with this and get better, he needed to start with the truth.

"I did leave the state" Shawn said. Lassiter couldn't help but throw him a glance.

"What?"

"I thought you were all dead" he explained. "I didn't know what to do… so I left."

"Where did you go?"

"Does it really matter?"

"… I suppose not." A small moment of silence surrounded the car. "Why did you come back then? You were pretty much free."

"I saw a New Report. Of me. They said there was an APB out on me and that I was highly dangerous."

"What, so you got afraid you'd get caught, so you came home?"

"No. I didn't care about that."

"Then what did you care about?"

"The New Reporter said _'Family and Friends have no idea where the psychic could be_'."

"Exactly" Lassiter said, still confused. "We didn't have a clue where you were. You could have gotten away with all of this."

"No, Lassie. That's not what I care about. She said '_Family and Friends'._" And at last, he understood.

"And as far as you knew, we were dead…"

"I had to check it out." Lassiter couldn't help but feel touched. Shawn had given up so much just for the chance that they were alive. They really mean a lot to him, and that was when Lassiter decided that the man sitting right next to him was 100% Shawn. He didn't care what crazy tests he went through, what stupid drugs he took to make him think there was a woman in his apartment. All he knew at that moment, all he was completely sure about, was that this was Shawn. The silly, childish, pineapple loving Shawn that the whole department – yes, even Lassiter – had grown to love.

Although…

"Spencer, we found a gun in your apartment" Lassiter said. "What exactly were you planning on doing with it?"

"I don't know."

"That's a load of crap." Shawn looked at Lassiter. He knew he'd have to tell the truth eventually. Might as well start now. He took in a deep breath and prepared himself to explain.

"I was going to shoot myself."

"What?!" Lassiter was so taken back by the confession. He had turned his head quickly towards Shawn and accidently swerved into the next lane. A lot of honking later, Lassiter only barely managed to avoid getting hit by oncoming traffic. Niymi was still in the backseat. She leaned in towards Shawn, surprised just as much as Lassiter was by Shawn's plans.

"That was your plan?" She hissed in his ear. "Seriously?!"

"I knew I had built my hopes up too high" Shawn started to explain to both of them. "If they were crushed… _again_… I knew I wouldn't be able to recover."

"So your solution was to kill yourself?!" Lassiter yelled.

"Well it was more appealing than the other option I had."

"What the hell was your other option?!" Shawn just looked at Lassiter. It took him a moment, but he remembered. _'After seeing the truth, they either fight for the balance or stop fighting at all_'. Lassiter look at Shawn for a brief second. He wasn't sure whether or not to feel proud of him or slightly horrified. "You'd rather kill yourself than have to kill somebody else."

Shawn didn't respond. Lassiter threw Shawn a glance before letting the smallest of smiles creep onto his face. This was the Shawn they all knew and loved. He wasn't a killer. He was Shawn.

"Except" Niymi whispered in Shawn's ear. "You _did_ kill someone, didn't you…" Shawn tried to ignore her. Tried to phase her out. "His name was Karl Rotmensen. He was a college professor. And you stabbed him twenty three times in the chest. You're a monster."

"_Spencer… no one's cuffed to the radiator…"_

"They know it too" Niymi continued, Shawn's internal chant not working. "Why do you think they're taking you to the station? Really?"

"_Spencer… no one's cuffed to the radiator…"_

Then who the _hell _is talking to him?

* * *

When at long last the two of them arrived at the station, Shawn didn't want to get out of his seat. He spent a good twenty minutes with Niymi constantly whispering in his ear. She kept telling him that they were going to lock him up. That Lassiter was the only survivor. That he had managed to trick Shawn into willingly going to the station. At first, Shawn was able to easily dismiss everything she was saying as just another lie to get him to switch over to her side. But the more she whispered, the more he believed. And by the time they finally arrived, he was glued to his seat.

"Spencer…" Lassiter called out from outside the car. He had assumed Shawn had followed him out and towards the station, but when he looked back, he saw that Shawn was still in his seat. Lassiter walked back towards the car and opened the door. "Spencer, cut the crap. Let's go."

"You know what, I'm good here…" Shawn said, holding onto his seat. Lassiter groaned and unbuckled his belt for him.

"Come on, Spencer. We don't have all day." Shawn looked up at Lassiter and he finally understood. Shawn wasn't being difficult. Shawn was actually terrified of walking into that place. He wasn't sure why exactly, but the fear was clear in his eyes. "Spencer, why do you think we're here?" Shawn let out a nervous chuckle.

"Yeah, Shawn" Niymi joined in. "Why are we _really_ here?"

"Well… you've always wanted to be the one who arrested me…" Lassiter was so very tempted to ask what on Earth he would arrest him for. But then he remembered.

"Not today." Shawn let out one panicked laugh before shaking his head and panicking in his seat. "I take it you don't believe me." Shawn shook his head. "Look, Spencer, why did you ask _me_ of all people to come see you at your apartment today?" Shawn looked up, shocked by the question.

"Because… you were the only one I thought would tell me the truth, no matter how harsh it was."

"Well then how is that any different from now?" Shawn looked up, debating whether to trust him or not. "If I were here to arrest you, I would make sure you knew it. But right now, I'm here because you've been through hell and back, and I want to help you." Shawn just continued to stare. "Would it help if I told you the chief won't let me arrest you?" and at that, Shawn had to laugh.

"So you're not arresting me?" Shawn clarified.

"No. I'm helping you. We might need to ask you a couple questions later, but only if you're ready."

"Is… is everyone else in there?"

"Yes. Alive and well. I promise."

"Okay…" And so slowly, slowly, Shawn made his way out of the car and to the front doors of the station. Carlton's hand hovered on Shawn's elbow, then his shoulder, before it fell to his own side. He had wanted to offer Shawn some kind of support, but he didn't know how to do it without giving off the message that he was arresting him, or something of the sort. Shawn's heart was racing as he followed Lassiter. He kept wondering what would happen once he walked through. Would they slap on the handcuffs and laugh at him for falling for the trap? Would they show him the bodies of everyone he loved and laugh as he cried over them? Or, would the miracle he dreamed about come true? Would his friends be alright?

There was only one way to find out.

So Shawn followed Lassiter into the precinct. There was a huge crowd of people on the inside. They all turned towards the door, and upon seeing Shawn's face, they all cheered and clapped their hands. Lassiter lead the way and Shawn hesitantly followed after him. Shawn was terrified. He didn't know what would happen next. He just searched the crowd for the familiar faces, but he couldn't find him. And that only made him panic more.

"Interesting, don't you think?" Niymi whispered into Shawn's ear. It took all his willpower not to turn to look at her.

"What's so interesting?" Shawn muttered over his shoulder quietly so no one could hear him.

"You're following Lassie into the station, and everyone is clapping. What does that remind you of?" And so Shawn thought back and remembered. Whenever an officer brought in a big arrest, all the other cops would applaud. Was Shawn the big arrest in this case? "I mean, think about it" Niymi continued. "You can't even find the others. It was all just a trick, you gullible fool."

Shawn stopped dead in his tracks. He was really panicking now. He was in the station, now. If his loved ones turned out to be dead, what would he do? They'd lock him up and he'd be forced to live the rest of his life in complete misery. This was all a mistake. This was all a very bad mistake.

It didn't take long for Lassiter to notice that Shawn wasn't right behind him anymore. He turned around and saw Shawn standing just a few feet behind him, that terrified look back in his eyes. Shawn stared at Lassiter, so clearly confused and scared. Lassiter walked up to him, grabbed his elbow and started pulling him along. Now Shawn _really_ started to panic. He started to hyperventilate. Lassiter quickly noticed.

"Everyone, stand back! Give him some space, for God's sake!" Lassiter yelled out. He then looked at Shawn, making eye contact with him. "Spencer, please. Just two minute. For two minutes only, trust me." Shawn nodded and tried to calm himself down.

"Trust him?" Niymi chimed in. "Yeah, right. Right after that, why don't we go and trust the dodgy guy down the street with our wallet?"

"Shut up" Shawn muttered over his shoulder again, softly hoping no one would hear. But Lassiter was standing right in front of him. he heard him perfectly, and he knew that it wasn't directed at him. While Lassiter worried about it, he didn't bring it up. But he sure as hell wasn't letting it go.

"Shawn?" they heard someone call out. Shawn recognised that voice and he looked up.

"Gus?" there, past the crowd, his best friend was standing, staring at him as if he was looking at a ghost. They stared at each other for no more than a second before running towards one another. They collided in the middle and held each other in one of the tightest hugs they'd ever managed. And Shawn let himself cry, not giving a single rat's ass if anyone thought any less of him because of it. When they pulled apart, Shawn saw that Gus too was crying his eyes out.

"Dude, I can't believe you're crying!" Shawn managed to get out.

"Shut up, Shawn. I'm a sympathetic crier. I'm only crying because you started it." and that answer was just so… Gus! Shawn couldn't help but laugh.

"Shawn!" a new voice called out. Shawn turned around and saw his dad pushing through everyone. And although it was so very 'un-Spencer like' to do it, although it didn't fall under their father-son relationship, Shawn ran up to his dad and hugged him tightly. Henry was shocked, just for a second, before wrapping his arms around his only child and hugging him back.

"I thought you were dead…" Shawn croaked, as if he needed to explain himself to Henry.

"I'm just fine, kiddo" Henry said. "I'm just fine."

They pulled apart after another moment, completely unashamed of showing they cared (for once). Shawn had tears streaming down his fact, and a grin from ear to ear. There was just no way in hell Shawn could even _attempt_ to cover up his relief. His happiness that everything he had hoped for was coming true. And he tried very hard to ignore the furious look Niymi had on her face while she sat in the corner of the room, right next to…

"Jules…" Shawn whispered.

"Shawn?" Juliet called out.

Shawn ran up to the woman he was convinced he loved. He wrapped his arms around her, hugging her tightly and lifting her feet off the ground. Juliet wrapped her arms around his neck and let him spin her around. When he put her back on the floor, he leaned down and kissed her. Juliet kissed back, even letting her foot pop up as she did.

They didn't care if the whole department now knew of their secret relationship. They didn't care at all. And no one around them dared to bring it up. The poor guy had been held captive for a week. He lost his mind, and he still wasn't completely out of the woods yet. Let him have this moment. And then later…

Later they would question him about the murder. About Yin. About The Truth. About Niymi.


End file.
